Posted in satire/humor, save the snowflakes

Save The Snowflakes

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From Social injustice snowflakes on college campuses , to the diaper wearing snowflakes at Turning Point USA : Charlie Kirk , Candace Owens ; the NRA’s Dana Loesch , Dan Bongino , Wayne Lapierre ; Fox News’s Tammy Lawrence , Sean Hannity , Tucker Carlson , Laura Ingraham , Jeanine Pirro ; The Blaze’s , Glenn Beck , Stu ‘The Booger’ Burguiere , Pat Gray ; Prager University’s Dennis ‘the rape of a name is also rape’ Prager ; World Net Daily’s Dr. Gina ‘Trump Is The Sanest Person In The WH’ Loudon , Joseph Farah ; Townhall News , and Rightwing New’s JohnA White Woman Who Voted For Obama Is Like A Black Woman Voting For The KKKHawkins.

From washed up rockers and Hollywood actors , SpongeTed Squishy Pants Nugent ( who once soiled himself to avoid the draft ) , James Woods , Roseanne ‘Ambien Made Me Do It’ Barr , Tim Allen.

From social media , to right-wing media.

From the senate’s Chuckliberals want mob rule’ Grassley , Mitch McConnell , Lindsayfit throwingGraham ; to the White House , conservatives have become an endangered species. They are under attack from politically correct intolerant liberals , who want to silence conservative voices , enforce homosexuality , gun control , single payer health care , transgenderism , socialism , Big Macs , and decide what kind of person should be on the Supreme Court!

Conservatives no longer have a safe space of their own. From college campuses to the steps of Washington DC , they have all been taken over by mobs of socialist , pansy libtards who just can’t get over the fact that Trump won.

Please save the life of one of these delicate snowflakes today , before they become extinct. Make your donation to Save The Snowflakes. Because everyone deserves a safe space , even conservative snowflakes like the above mentioned.

This message paid for by Save The Snowflakes.

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Posted in Dana Loesch, satire/humor

NRA Spokesperson Dana Loesch , On Hannity : Gun Confiscation Will Cause Mass Spoonings

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“When the left succeeds in banning guns , then they’ll come for our spoons.”

Dana Loesch is a conservative radio and media commentator , and NRA spokesperson. According to her Wikipedia page , she is the current special assistant to the executive vice president for public relations for the NRA , a position she has held since 2017.

She is listed at number 888 in the Encyclopedia Of American Loons.

Before becoming an NRA spokesperson , she hosted the daily show , Dana , at Glenn Beck’s The Blaze , from 2014 to late 2017.

She’s previously written for Breibart’s Big Journalism , and was employed briefly at CNN , but was released for questionable behavior. Since 2008 she’s been the host of the Dana Radio Show , The Conservative Alternative.

She is known for making controversial statements , such as the time she said how cool it would be to drop her trousers to urinate on the bodies of dead Taliban soldiers. Other controversies include , attacking mainstream media journalists as ‘rat bastards of the earth’ , and ‘a boil on the backside of American politics’ , and should be ‘curbed stomped’ for dishonesty in reporting ( apparently , Dana , and her cronies over at Fox News , and NRA TV are lone beacons of truth , honesty , and accuracy in media ) ; claiming that spoons can be classified as assault weapons ; accusing liberals of marching in lock step with terrorists , after the 2016 Inland Empire shooting spree , labeling them the Godless Left for having the audacity to mock thoughts and prayers of cowardly politicians ; attacking the New York Times for its dishonesty and mediocrity ( again with no self-awareness of her own faults ) ; accusing mainstream media of loving mass shootings after the Marjory Stoneman Douglas school shooting , and claiming that hordes of angry leftists attempted to stone her at a CNN town hall meeting in which she barely escaped alive.

On a recent episode of Hannity , Dana doubled down on her analogy that a spoon can be used as an assault weapon. They were talking about gun control , and how the March For Our Loves activists were being used by the Left to advance their gun confiscation agenda.

“You know , Sean ,” she said , “this whole March For Our Lives nonsense smells of Obama and the Democrats. We know they hate guns and will stop at nothing to make sure that every single gun in America is confiscated.”

Sean Hannity : “What are you saying , Dana? Are you saying that the whole thing , that the shooting was a false flag , a staged event to take away guns?”

“No , Sean , that not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying that the March For Our Lives are probably being manipulated by Obama and the Dems. I wouldn’t doubt for a minute that this so-called movement was Obama’s idea. I don’t doubt that he put them up to it. He couldn’t confiscate guns when he was president , so he’s hoping that they’ll be the ones to make his dream come true.”

Sean Hannity : “Good point , Dana. But for a moment there , I thought you might straying into Alex Jones territory.”

Dana , smiling , said ,”Alex Jones is a crackpot , Sean. I’m not. But I’ll tell you something that’s not so crazy. People are killed by cars every year , but nobody talks about banning cars. People are killed by trains every year and nobody talks about banning trains. People are killed by dangerous drugs every year , including marijuana , and nobody talks about banning drugs , including marijuana. Video games kill people every year , and nobody talks about banning video games. The point I’m trying to make here , Sean , is that people are killed by a million things every year , and it’s stupid to want to ban everything.

“You know , Sean , a few years back when I suggested that a spoon could be used as an assault weapon , the mainstream media thought it was a joke. They thought I was a joke. But they’re the joke , because I was right. I’m a gun expert. And because I’m a gun expert , that makes me a spoon expert. So , believe me when I say a spoon really can be used as an weapon to murder people. They also thought it was a big deal when I said that they love mass shootings because it boosts their ratings.”

Hannity : “Yeah , liberal heads literally exploded. Kapow!”

“That’s right , Sean. But what I should have said was they love mass spoonings , because that’s what’s going to happen if the Parkland students , Democrats , and Obama get their way and ban the second amendment. We’re going to see an epidemic of mass spoonings the likes of which we’ve never seen , because there won’t be anymore guns , and when enough people have been killed by spoons , the left will demand background checks on spoon purchases , and then they will march to ban spoons and other kitchen utensils.”

Posted in Colin Kaepernick, Kevin Sorbo, satire/humor

Mediocre Christian actor Kevin Sorbo returns Nikes Because They Hurt His Feelings| TheBlaze

https://www.theblaze.com/news/2018/09/11/christian-actor-kevin-sorbo-returns-nikes-they-hurt-my-feet-when-i-stand-for-the-national-anthem

Hercules returns his Nike’s because they hurt his feelings , but he’s no snowflake like those pansy liberals.

First they wore diapers on college campuses to protest safe spaces. Then they smashed their Keurig coffee machines to protest the company pulling it’s ads over Sean Hannity’s support of child molester Roy Moore.

This summer when Nike chose Colin Kaepernick as the face of their new ad campaign , Believe In Something , Even If It Means Sacrificing Everything , conservatives posted photos and videos of themselves on social media burning their Nike apparel to show how butt hurt they were that the popular sports outfit had the nerve to feature a mediocre , pansy , flag hating football player as their spokesman.

It seems to be a popular trend among conservatives these days. When someone disagrees with you , namely libtards , throw a tantrum by boycotting , which includes smashing , burning , and destroying anything that doesn’t support the conservative cause or agenda , and some conservatives are all too eager and happy to do just that , and then without a hint of irony , claim it is libtards who are snowflakes.

Conservative actor , Kevin Sorbo , who had previously starred in the mediocre television series , Hercules The Legendary Journeys , and the equally mediocre films , God’s Not Dead , and Let Their Be Light , recently got his feelings butt hurt by the new Nike ad. He got so butt hurt that he returned a pair of Nike’s because they hurt his sensitive feet when standing for the anthem.

In an interview with the Journal , Sorbo said , “I cried when I saw the ad. I literally cried. I couldn’t believe they were using this whiny , crybaby , flag hating little pansy as their new spokesman. I cried so hard and so long my eyes were almost puffed shut , and strings of disgusting snot were hanging from both nostrils. I felt so disgusted with myself. I felt like a two-year old throwing a fit , but I couldn’t help myself. My wife came into the bathroom , and saw me rolling around on the floor with my pants around my ankles. I had been sitting on the john reading the paper when I saw the ad.

‘ “What’s wrong with you?’ she said. There was disgust in her voice. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the smell or that I was on the floor with my pants down , or both. I told her that Nike had chosen that pansy , flag hating crybaby for their new ad campaign. She said , ‘Jesus Christ , Kevin , you sound like a snowflake. Get up and pull your pants up! What are you , a liberal?’

‘ “No , I’m a conservative , ‘ I said.

“When she said that , I realized I was acting like your typical liberal , a whiny sensitive crybaby who gets easily offended at anything and everything. She was telling me to be a man and do something constructive instead of acting like a liberal snowflake , which is so unbecoming for a conservative. So , I pulled my pants up , wiped my nose , took my pair of Nike’s back for a refund , and told them that they hurt my feet whenever I stand for the anthem ( it was really because of that pansy flag hater ). Then I got on Facebook and told my followers all about it ( minus the bathroom part ) and said that Colin Kaepernick failed at sports , and sucked as a football player. That’s how a conservative responds.”

Posted in Dana Loesch

Dana And The Lap Dogs

 

 

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An unbiased , elitist , lap dog , lone beacon of truth in a sea of leftist lying libtards.

🍁Dana Loesch is a conservative commentator , AKA a Republican party mouth piece , gun nut , and an eager lap dog for the NRA. She’s currently employed at The Blaze , where truth supposedly lives , despite  little evidence to support this claim. Most liberals know her for the unabashed hypocrite she is , but Dana couldn’t care less about her own hypocrisy. She only cares when it’s liberals who are hypocrites.   

Recently Dana released a video accusing liberals who oppose the new president , of being terrorists. Liberals for the most part , saw it as thinly veiled threat against protesters. Others saw it for the ridiculous video it was ; it was nothing more than a mishmash of anti-liberal talking points , falsehoods , with an over abundance of hypocrisy , designed to appeal to the emotions of the sheep in her audience who will believe every word she says without question. The message : that all those who oppose the new president ( or any Republican president ) are not only unpatriotic , but enemies of freedom.     

The idea that anyone who opposes or even criticizes the current president is unpatriotic or anti-American , is not only absurd , but hypocritical. For eight years Dana and her like-minded lap dogs in the conservative media , which is every bit as main stream , and even more biased as the media she so often criticizes , did nothing but attack and criticize the last president over everything he said and did. He took too many vacations , he played too much golf. He was Hitler for health care reform , he was Hitler for executive orders. They told us he hated America and wanted to destroy it with Ebola , and yet , not one American succumbed to the virus. They told us that he was racist and hated law enforcement , over criticisms of the actions of a white police officer , and that he never attended the funerals of police officers killed in the line of duty , despite attending the services of slain police officers. They told us that he was a Muslim who sided with Muslim terrorists  , while ignoring his drone war on terror in seven different places around the world. 

Dana and her fellow lap dogs in the conservative media often claim to be the sole beacons of truth and accuracy besieged by a liberal media full of bias and lies. If they are so concerned about violence , then why haven’t they reported on the violence and intimidation against minorities since the election of the current president? Southern Poverty Law Center compiled an extensive list  of attacks. Why didn’t she mention any of these incidents in her video? Why didn’t she mention the six , predominantly black southern churches that were burned down from 2014 , to 2016? Why didn’t she mention the nine black parishioners that were gunned down by white supremacist Dylann Roof? Why didn’t she mention the murders of six Muslims outside a Canadian mosque , by Trump supporter  Alexandre Bissonette? Why didn’t she mention the Planned Parenthood shooting by radical Christian Robert Dear , that Ted Cruz claimed was done by a leftist transgender? She never mentioned any of these incidents because it was right wing violence. Violence that Conservatives will never admit to and will never own. By ignoring their own radical extremism , it enables them to continue to peddle their fantasies of a violent , Godless Left. 

Posted in Dana Loesch, Stupid Conservative memes

Stupid Conservative Memes #66 Dana Loesch Edition

Dana Loesch. Republican , NRA lap dog , shill , hypocrite.

The  purpose of the news media is to objectively report news , and to hold government accountable. The news media these days are not interested in truth or objectivity ; their main objective is to make a profit , even at the expense of truth and accuracy , so it’s up to us to be their watch dog.  That’s why we have organizations like Media Matters.

Dana’s problem with the mainstream media – AKA the so-called liberal media – is that it doesn’t tow the Conservative line one hundred percent. Therefore it has a “liberal bias.” The idea that just because there may be a few more left leaning news outlets , there is a huge liberal conspiracy in the media , and that sources like Fox News , The Blaze , and other Conservatives outlets , are the few sole bastions of true and unbiased news. It’s absurd. The Blaze websites bi-line is Truth Lives Here , which is ironic , since it frequently publishes click bait articles , and misinformation taken from other questionable Conservative news sources. Hardly a bastion of truth. 

Dana Loesch complaining about mainstream media bias is not only ironic , but comical , in light of the fact that everyone at The Blaze – herself included – are lap dogs for the Republican party establishment elite. She’s also a lap dog for the NRA.

 

Posted in Dana Loesch, NRA

A Response To Dana Loesch’s Clinched Fist Of Truth ( Hypocrisy ) Video

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NRA lap dog , Dana Loesch.

🍁 In a video reminiscent of her 2015 “Godless Left” rant , rabid NRA lap dog Dana Loesch has released another comical NRA sponsored video , in which she again calls liberals terrorists. Although she doesn’t call for violence against the “violent Godless left” the intent is implied that they are dangerous and must be dealt with by arming themselves with more guns.  

This video , like the last one , was produced for one purpose , and that purpose is to portray liberals as a dangerous threat to freedom and liberty. The Godless Left video was in response to calls for gun control , after the San Bernardino Inland Empire shooting , in which the New York Daily News mocked Republican thoughts and prayers , with the headline

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God Isn’t Fixing This , sparking an outrage among Conservatives.  The NRA responded , with their favorite lap dog/shill , Dana Loesch accusing liberals of attempting to destroy their freedom to pray , and that liberals were marching hand in hand with Islamic terrorists , singing Kumbaya , simply for calling for an end to gun violence.

These videos are like self-parodies. Conservatives are completely unaware of the glaring hypocrisy  , but liberals can see right through her for the shameless hypocrite she is. Literally everything she accused liberals of doing , was straight out of the  Obama hater’s playbook.

  1.  “They use their media to assassinate real news.” What does this even mean? Real news? Like The Blaze , where truth lives? Which is ironic , since Dana is currently employed at a network with no more credibility than Fox News , and a host of other questionable sources of yellow journalism , such as World Nut Daily , Town Hall , and The Gateway Pundit , AKA The Dumbest Man On The Internet. I’m sure these are all sources of real , credible news to Dana and much of her audience. I’m sure Jim Hoft’s award-winning ( from Accuracy In Media , no less ) journalism must have inspired her tedious career when she was at CNN. Also ironic , Dana has been using her platform to call everything else that doesn’t tow the Conservative line , as fake news. 
  2. “They use their schools to teach children that our president is another Hitler.”
    She states this as if it’s fact , with no evidence to back it up. However ,
    I do recall for the last eight years that Dana and her cronies in the media , attacked a certain president over everything from health care reform ( AKA as Obama Care ) , foreign policy , to gun control , often referencing him not only to Hitler , but every other dictator in modern times. And they used their media to tell their viewers that he hated America , was a communist , and was a friend to Islamic terrorists.
  3. “They use their stars and award shows to advance their narrative over and over again.” I wonder what that narrative could possibly be. Could it possibly be speaking out against police abuse of authority? I understand this is something that’s frowned upon by wing nut Conservatives who believe the police can do no wrong , and anyone who criticizes them must be cop haters , like they accused Obama of hating cops because he had the audacity to question police authority where killings were unjustified.
    It wasn’t too long ago they were using their own celebrities like The Motor City Loudmouth , Rush Limbaugh , and numerous pundits like Tomi Lahren , Janine Pirro , and everyone else at Fox News , to advance their own narratives , that Obama was an anti-white racist , and a cop hater , over situations ranging from criticizing a white cop for arresting a Harvard Law professor in his own home , the events in Ferguson , Baltimore , benign comments on the tragic deaths of several police officers , and a seventeen year old black teenager. Just because he didn’t side with the racist narrative that George Zimmerman was the victim and Martin the aggressor , made him a racist? Not God damn likely.
  4. “They use their ex-president to endorse their resistance.” Apparently , according to Dana , Obama must be directing thousands of Trump haters to loot and destroy property , via mind control , with chips implanted in their heads.
    All to make them march , make them protest” – I doubt they need Obama to motivate them to march , to protest. Trump’s behavior is all the motivation they need – “Make them scream racism” – The irony here is thick enough to cut with a knife – “Sexism , xenophobia , homophobia , smash windows , burn cars , shut down interstates” – I’m sure Trump marchers have never done that , have they? – “airports , bullying and terrorizing the law-abiding” – again , Trump supporters have never done that , have they? There are armed militia wandering the streets in “open carry” states intimidating citizens ; there were armed  militia defending the Bundy ranch ; there were armed Oath Keepers and other militia who had taken over the Malheur wildlife sanctuary , but according to Dana , it’s the left who are doing the intimidating- “until the only option left is for the police to do their jobs and stop the madness.”
    When she mentioned racism , I doubt she was thinking that not too long ago it was her side that was screaming racism at Obama , when pundits and right-wing nut bloggers like John “Obama’s an anti-white racist” Hawkins of Right Wingnut News , and Jim “The Gateway Pundit” Hoft , were making fools of themselves trying to convince their  dense readers that Obama was a rabid anti-white racist , with no evidence to back up their claims.
    Just as I’m sure she was not thinking of the birther movement. She and many of her audience may not have outright endorsed it , but there is no evidence that they denounced it.
    When she mentioned sexism , I doubt she thinking of the many instances when her totally not sexist buddies , Rush Limbaugh , and Ted Nugent demeaned Democratic women like Sandra Fluke , Hillary Clinton , and Nancy Pelosi.
    When she mentioned homophobia , I doubt she was thinking about the wing nut melt down over the Supreme Court decision on same-sex marriage. Nor was she thinking of the time she was moved to tears over the pizza store bigots who refused to bake a pizza for a gay couple , and subsequently started a Go Fund Me account for the true victims – the pizza store owners , that is. If these people had been refusing to bake a pizza for Christians , imagine the stink Dana and her cronies at The Blaze would have raised. It would have given them a legitimate reason to bitch and moan. But , no , it’s the gays who are the real bigots for calling them on their bigotry.
    During the Obama years , the Obama hating “patriots” moaned incessantly about free speech , and oppression under Obama , even as they burned his effigy , called him a communist , a socialist  , a Muslim terrorist , anti-Christian , a racist , a cop hater , compared him countless times to Hitler , claimed he hated America , wasn’t an American ,  and if anyone dared criticize them , or push back , they were often accused of playing the race card.

     All these videos have demonstrated , is that Conservatives like Loesch are disingenuous. They don’t really care about honesty. All they care about is furthering their own agenda , and that agenda is to sell more guns despite the countless children that will be massacred , and transform America into an armed police state , where any form of dissent by their political enemies – liberals – is seen as treasonous. They ultimately succeed in making themselves look foolish by accusing liberals of the very same tactics they engage in.

    Update : I often wonder if images like these haunt shameless hypocrites like Dana Loesch , who believe basic gun control is a violation of their second amendment right. Hypocrites who accuse others of having blood on their hands , while defending and making excuses for those who truly do have blood on their hands :
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Herself , and the NRA.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Liberal Logic 101, Stupid Conservative memes

Stupid Conservative Memes #63 Liberal Logic 101 Edition

“For those with no brains , who haven’t a clue how logic works.”

Like the main stream Conservative media did with Obama’s birth certificate , Benghazi , the so-called IRS scandal , Solyndra , Fast And Furious , Health Care reform ( Obama Care ) and a host of other non scandals? The entire real lame stream news media , including Fox News , Breitfart , The Gateway Pundit ( AKA the Stupidest man on the internet ), News Max , News Busters , The Blaze , Rush Limbaugh , Accuracy In Media  , World Nut Daily , Media Research Center , and Conservatives News Service whined incessantly over everything Obama said and did. Not just about the birth certificate , Benghazi , and Fast And Furious  , but absurd nonsense about gun confiscation , executive orders , saluting a marine with a latte in his hand , wearing a tan suit , how many vacations he and his family took , how much he golfed , to what he put on his hamburger.

Can we expect a similar type of treatment toward Trump from the so-called liberal media? Not likely. In fact , we’ve already seen them fawn over him when he bombed Syria.  

Posted in satire/humor, Tomi Lahren

Tomi And The Snowflakes

 Since her departure from One America News , and joining The Blaze Network , Tomi Lahren has become a social media phenomenon. She is best known for her outrageous opinions that very seldom have any grounding in reality or fact. Some of these opinions are so outrageous , such as comparing the civil rights group Black Lives Matter to the modern-day KKK , they have managed to piss people off , and have earned her monikers like White Privilege Barbie , Nazi Barbie , and Aryan Snowflake. Some People have even took to twitter to troll her by purposefully mispronouncing her name.

Some of her other outrageously ridiculous statements include , former president Obama had a friendly to jihadis mentality , meaning he was weak on terrorism ( apparently completely oblivious to the fact that Obama’s foreign policy included droning seven different places around the world in the war on terror ) because he would not utter the phrase , ‘radical Islamic terrorism’ that Ms. Lahren and her fans were so desperate to hear , because saying so would apparently eliminate the jihadi threat to America.

During a recent visit to ABC’s The View , Tomi admitted that as a Conservative she is pro-choice , and called other Conservatives who called themselves pro-life , hypocrites. That was a mistake in the Conservative circle , which got the feisty commentator into hot water with her employer , Glenn Beck. He promptly suspended her , then fired her. Now , the two are suing each other , or have sued each other … whatever.

But supposedly there have been other reasons behind Tomi’s departure from The Blaze Network. According to an article in the Daily Caller , Tomi’s declaration of pro-choice and calling Conservatives hypocrites , was the “final straw in her relationship with The Blaze Network.”  Without naming any sources , the article claims she was rude to her co-workers , argued with several people over controversial views she had expressed , treated assistants like they were slaves , wanting them to always warm her butt pad for her , and cared more about creating controversy than being honest. Also , according to the article , she wasn’t especially fond of Dana Loesch , and went out of her way to avoid her.

Tomi appeared on a recent episode of the Alex Jones Show to set the record straight on the reasons behind her departure from the Blaze Network.

Alex : “Welcome to the show , ladies and gentlemen. I’m Alex Jones , your host for the number one show in Texas , America , and around the world. My guest on today’s show is Tammy Loren – “

Tomi : “Tomi. Tomi Lahren.”

Alex : “Whatever. Ms. Lowen has written several books. White people : The New Victims Of racism In The Age Of Obama , and Obama Wants To Eat Your Guns. Her latest is Tomi And The Snowflakes , which is scheduled for release sometime this Summer by Trump’s Not A Racist And He Loves America Unlike That Other President , Publishing , reveals the events behind her departure from The Blaze , which includes plenty of drama , cat fights , and verbal name calling. Just the kind of drama her fans have come to expect.

“Alright , I’ve read the book , Timmy – “

Tomi : “Tomi.”

Alex : “When my producer gave me a copy of the book , at first I thought it was about a new female rock group or something. Anyway ,  for those who are listening to the show and haven’t yet read it , why don’t you give a short summary of what it’s about.”

Tomi : “The book is about a group of special snowflakes at The Blaze who had a melt down when I called them hypocrites , among other things.”

Alex : “Lonnie – “

Tomi : “Tomi.”

Alex : “Whatever. In the book you discuss several particularly interesting incidents  in detail , such as an encounter with Dana Letch – I probably mispronounced it , I’m not very good with names – who you several times refer to as a bitch , a skank , and a ‘ho’ , and also an embarrassing encounter with Stu Burger , or Booger – ”

Tomi : “Burguiere.”

Alex : “What is that , a french name or something?”

Tomi : “I really don’t know.”

Alex : “It sounds like the french version of the word booger.”

Tomi : “It could be. I have no idea.”

Glenn and Stu ( Sue ). Still a happy couple.

Alex : “Doesn’t really matter. Still sounds like booger to me. Anyway , this guy Stu , or Sue , or whatever his , or her name is , had sex reassignment surgery a few years back , and has been pretending to be a girl , or a guy , or a transvestite , or whatever , ever since. Right? But what’s even more embarrassing is that – and most of Glenn Beck’s viewers don’t even know this , because they’re all so stupid , which is even more embarrassing , and what’s even more embarrassing is that he’s even more stupid than they are – Glenn , and this Stu , or Sue fella , or whatever , have been married for some time now. Yes , that’s right ladies and gentlemen , Glenn Beck actually divorced his second wife to marry a transvestite! I’m not making this stuff up. I wish I was , but I’m not. Who would have thought that Glenn Beck actually has a thing for gay transvestites? Some really bizarre stuff is going on over there at The Blaze. Isn’t that right , Connie?”

Tomi : “Tomi. It’s Tomi , Alex.”

Alex : “Isn’t that what I said?”

Tomi : “No , you’ve gotten my name wrong four times now.”

Alex : “I’m sorry , Suzi. I’m not trying to be rude or anything. It’s just that I’m not very good with names. They all sound the same to me.”

Tomi : “You can’t tell the difference between Tomi and Timmy?”

Alex : “Tomi , Timmy , what’s in a name? They all sound the same.”

Tomi : “Not to me.”

Alex : “Whatever you say , Ronny. Anyway , like I said , some weird stuff is happening at The Blaze , am I right?”

Tomi : ( Rolls eyes ) “Right.”

Alex : “According to the book , Dana Leech was always crapping up a wind storm  when she was around you , because you knew she hated you , and she knew you hated her too?”

Dana Loesch , angry harpy.

Tomi : “That’s right. I couldn’t stand her for several reasons. For one ,  she was always bragging about her so-called native American heritage , which is like 00.00 percent or something – native heritage , my ass – which I always thought was BS , and I told her so once , which set her off. I called her chief Shitting Bull , and she went ballistic. Her eyes bugged out and she said if I ever called her that again , she would sit on me and use my face for a toilet. Another reason I couldn’t stand her was because she always acted like a big shot. She would wear dark glasses and a fur coat every day before she filmed her show , because she was jealous that my show got higher ratings than hers , and she couldn’t stand it , and by wearing a fur coat and glasses , I knew she was trying to mock me. But what infuriated her the most was the fact that I had a butt pad and she didn’t. She was always jealous of the fact that I had a butt pad because my show was more popular than hers. The reason she didn’t have a butt pad is because no one liked her as much as they liked me , which is the reason I got a butt pad and she didn’t. And my butt is perkier and cuter than hers , and needs a butt pad to warm it up. Dana has the butt of a sixty year old woman , and no butt pad would keep that saggy ass of hers from sagging. I mean , look at it. Mine. Not her’s.”

She stood up and jiggled it like a teenager participating in a bikini contest. “Isn’t that the cutest , perkiest butt you ever did see?”

Alex getting excited watching Tomi shake her cute , perky butt.

Alex : ( Blushing ) “Uh … yeah , Ms. Lahren. Very nice Terry , I mean Timmy , I mean Tomi ! Please sit down. My producer’s getting excited.”

Tomi : “That BS about me being jealous of her , was nothing but BS. I was the one that got more attention because my butt is perkier and cuter than hers , and she couldn’t stand it. Dana always had to be the center of attention , because she’s a whiny-attention-seeking crybaby snowflake.”

Alex : “Also according to the book , you told her she looked like a horse , and that you spread a rumor that she was really a guy in drag , like that Stu , or Sue fella?”

Tomi : “That’s right , Alex. When I told her she had a face like a horse , her eyes bugged out , and she screamed , ‘What did you call me , you skank?’ I said , ‘You look like Mr. Ed’s wife!’ She screamed like a harpy again , grabbed a handful of my hair , threw me on the ground , and farted several times in my face. I mean , God , it was disgusting. I wanted to vomit. It stank like a skunk had invaded the studio. She really knew how to stink up the place. I felt like I was going to die from the stench , but at last Glenn came and pulled her off me. This was during a break in a taping of my show Final Thoughts , back in December. But the time I said she looked like a transvestite , that was even worse. Not only did she fart in my face again , she literally crapped her pants. And this time I did almost die from the stench. In fact , I actually barfed. But this time nobody had to pull her off me , because she was so embarrassed , she ran off holding onto the seat of her pants. She never bothered me again after that , I think because she was afraid I would tell someone , anyone. When the book is published , she’ll probably try to sue me , but I don’t care. I hope she gets laughed out of court. But she did tell  Stu that I said he looked like a gay frog , which I never did , and he also farted in my face. But I did say that she – Dana – looked like Sue when he – I mean she – was pretending to be Stu. And he farted in my face again. She also told Glenn that I once came on to Stu , and they both farted in my face. 

“And that was how I really got fired from The Blaze. It had absolutely nothing  to do with my coming out as pro-choice , or calling Conservatives hypocrites. It had everything to do with the fact my butt is cuter and perkier , and more popular than all of their sagging , old fart assess put together.”

 

Posted in Conservative Correctness, Political Correctness

Politically Correct Terms Conservatives Love … Part 2

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 Conservatives are helpless victims , forever bullied by liberals and progressives who want to shut down their free speech … or so they want you to believe. The truth is , Conservatives oppose political correctness because they want to treat anyone they don’t like as badly as they can without consequence. In other words , they would rather be assholes.

The following are ten more politically correct terms used by Conservatives to portray themselves as victims while smearing their opponents.

  1. Obama/liberal/progressive/government hating radical = “Patriot.” Recently Conservatives all over America demonstrated what fragile pussies hypocrites they really are when a football player by the name of Colin Kaepernick made the choice not to stand during the National Anthem , because he wanted to call attention to the fact that racism and police brutality against minorities is still a very real problem. Why he was refusing to stand , was completely ignored. Instead attention was focused on the  absurd notion that he hates America , and was being disrespectful to military personnel. The irony or hypocrisy in this situation is that Conservatives see no problem with  slandering liberals , Democrats , or the current president as un-American , and accusing them of treasonous or subversive behavior. The president is the commander-in-chief. When anyone disrespects him , they’re disrespecting all military personnel , including those who fought for their freedom to be assholes. But because it’s Obama , that rule doesn’t apply with Conservatives.
    There was a time when the word patriot meant something. It meant addressing grievances in a peaceful manner , through marching in the streets , writing those who are supposed to represent us. But today , in the age of Obama , Conservatives have twisted it’s meaning. It’s no longer about protesting peacefully. It’s about hating and slandering the current president and Democrats as being sympathetic to communism , to terrorists ; treating armed insurgents as true patriots , and those who do protest peacefully , as un-American. 
  2.  “Terrorist” = Person of color , whether they are Islamic radicals , or members of Black Lives Matter who protest peacefully. Recently Tomi Lahren of The Blaze Network embarrassed herself when she tweeted a comparison of Black Lives matter to the KKK. Apparently they’ve been roaming the country lynching white people because they want to overthrow white dominance. Systemic racism has nothing to do with it , nor does the fact that there just might be a real problem with racism in law enforcement. Black people  want to riot because it’s just how they are. Again , the irony here is that people like Lahren and those who listen to her , refuse to believe that Christians can be radicalized by their religion. But there have been plenty of cases where Conservative Christians have committed acts of terror in the name of not only God but anti-government rhetoric.
  3. “Cop hater” = Anyone who criticizes a police officer’s criminal behavior ( as if they can do no wrong ) , such as the shootings or murders of black individuals ,  like Michael Brown , Freddie Gray , and Eric Garner , or daring to suggest that cops should wear body cameras.  Ironically , Obama was accused of hating cops after the Dallas police shootings for making sane , rational statements condemning the killings. In the Conservative bubble where fiction is often regarded as fact , Obama hates law enforcement because … something. 
  4. “Lone Wolf” = a term Conservatives and the media use to describe anti-government , or white supremacist shooters.  Last year Dylan Roof walked into a black church in Charleston , SC , and murdered nine people. Roof . a known racist , confessed that he did it because he hoped it would start a race war. But the main stream Conservative media attempted to make it appear as if race had nothing to do with it. The message : when a shooter is a radical Muslim , all Muslims are accountable and are terrorists by default. But  a white Conservative shooter who has been radicalized by anti-government or anti-black hatred ,  that person is not considered a terrorist but a “lone wolf” with mental issues.
  5. “Traitor” =  A favorite word Conservatives love to throw at liberals , especially those who support the current president. Obama himself has been accused of treason for his executive orders ( which Conservatives have absurdly described as lawless behavior , comparing him to a dictator ; they didn’t seem to mind Bush’s lawless behavior ) ; same-sex marriage ; Benghazi ( a non scandal ) ; the Iran Deal ( which Conservatives have falsely claimed would allow Iran to develop a nuclear weapon ) ; aiding ISIS ( also absurd since the U.S. is currently at war with them ) ; executive action on amnesty for illegal immigrants ( which was blocked by Republicans and the Supreme Court ) ; weakening the military ( another absurd claim ) ; legal abortion ; the non Ebola crises ; Fast And Furious ( another non scandal ) ; the imaginary war on Christianity ( it doesn’t matter that he’s a Christian , he still hates them  ) ; the imaginary war on Christmas ; gun control ( even though he hasn’t grabbed a single gun ) ;  and perhaps the most absurd claim of all , his hatred of America.  You name it , the Republican Party and their rabid supporters have had a hard on for impeachment for eight years.  Are any of these impeachable offenses? Well , they are to those who hate Obama with a passion  and are unable to distinguish fantasy from reality.
  6. Race- baiter” = Anyone black or white ( preferably black ) who attempts to talk about racial discrimination against minorities. This was evident during the Ferguson and Baltimore riots and protests as the Conservative and much of mainstream media bent over backward to defend police brutality and blame the black community for the bad behavior of certain cops , and accusing Obama , Jesse Jackson , Al Sharpton , and the so-called liberal media of inciting  racial tension as a means of attempting to start a race war. Anger over the killings of Michael Brown , Freddie Gray , Eric Garner , and the failure of the justice system to convict the officers involved in their deaths , and charge them at least with involuntary manslaughter , apparently didn’t play a role in these situations. Black people are just animals and look for any excuse to riot. 
  7. “Bigot” = Another  word Conservatives love to use to accuse liberals or anyone who opposes anti-gay bigotry. It’s also used to besmirch and demean the reputation of non believers. Some Christians view all atheists as bigots , and believe they want to suppress their religious freedom. But most atheists are not bigoted because they do not seek to stifle , ban , or outlaw religious freedom. Many Conservative Christians however do wish and have supported the efforts of Republican politicians to discriminate against gay citizens under the guise of “religious freedom”, and are by definition ,  bigots. 
  8. “Militant atheists” = See bigot.
  9. “Militant homosexual” = A gay activist who advocates for the advancement and ethical treatment of other gay individuals. 
  10. “Racist” = A black person , liberal , or anyone who complains about the unethical treatment of minorities. Because anti-black racism no longer exists in the age of Obama. See also race-baiter.