Pampers Diaper Spokesman Of The Year: Charlie Kirk

https://freebeacon.com/men-of-the-year/2018-man-year-charlie-kirk/

Charlie Kirk , 25 , is the founder of Turning Point USA , or Toilet Paper USA ( as some have referred to it ) , the conservative organization that seeks to fight liberal bias on college campuses , more often than not , by making s**t up , and playing the victim.

The organization is well known for it’s protests on college campuses across America , falsely targeting left wing students and professors as Marxists and placing them on watch lists.

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In 2017 , diaper wearing members participated in a protest on the campus of Kent State University. The purpose of the protest was to prove that liberals are the real crybabies and snowflakes. How that makes any sense , is anyone’s guess. The protest back fired and the group was torched mercilessly on social media.

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The group’s former president and campus coordinator , Kaitlin Bennett , seemed to be the only one who had enough sense to be embarrassed by the whole debacle , and subsequently resigned. These days she spends much of her time embarrassing herself on twitter with asinine tweets , insulting anyone whom she perceives as left wing , and showing up at left wing protests just to intimidate liberals with her AR-10.

Unlike Bennett , and others at TPUSA , Kirk has continued to wear diapers , believing it to be the best way to own the libs. He has even written a book about his diaper wearing adventures , Wear A Diaper , Own A Lib : How I Own Liberals Everyday By Wearing Pampers Pure Brand And Other Diapers.

Kirk owned the libs in spectacular fashion at last year’s Politicon event when his pants fell down during a heated debate with the Young Turk’s Hasan Piker , revealing his favorite choice of diapers – Pampers.

Procter & Gamble , which owns the brand , among many other products , chose Kirk to be its new spokesman for 2019 , replacing last year’s spokesperson , Chrissy Teigen.

“We chose Charlie as the new spokesman of our brand , because he’s the perfect example why adults like him should be wearing diapers ,” Ariel Schmaltz , a representative for P&G told the Journal. “He’s not afraid to admit that he wears diapers , specifically Pampers , even when the libs make fun of him. It takes guts to admit you wear diapers , and not adult diapers , and for that we’re grateful. We hope to have a long and fruitful relationship with Charlie for years to come.”

Kirk stands to make 2.5 million from his endorsement , which will include commercial ads on national television , and appearances on national radio to promote his new book.

When reached for comment , Kirk told the Journal :

“I’m proud to wear Pampers. I think they’re the best brand on the market. They’re soft , and plush , and water proof. There’s no other brand like them on the market , and believe me , I’ve tried other brands. I especially like their special limited print editions. The cars and argyle designs are fine , but personally I prefer the giraffe design because they remind me of my favorite pair of jammies I had when I was a little boy. In fact , I’m wearing them now. I usually wear a size seven because they’re more comfy , and don’t chafe my delicate little bottom , and I like the fact that they’re made without harsh chemicals , which is also great for my delicate little bottom.

“My father wore Pampers , and my mother wore Pampers. It’s a tradition I’m proud to carry on , and I will continue wearing them for as long as P&G allows me to be their spokesman.

“I know that libs think it’s funny for a grown man to be wearing diapers to own them , but they can laugh all they want. The fact is , whether libs want to admit it or not , I am owning them. And I’m also laughing – all the way to bank!”

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It Is the Sacred Duty of All Conservatives to Own the Libs

https://townhall.com/columnists/kurtschlichter/2018/08/02/it-is-the-sacred-duty-of-all-conservatives-to-own-the-libs-n2505511

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I agree. We need to keep putting on those pampers every time those smug libs don’t see things our way.  

We need to Keep calling those libs snowflakes who cry about wanting to shut down our free speech on college campuses.

We need to keep targeting those smug ass lib professors for harassment and intimidation , for having lib ideas.

We need to keep trying to get them fired for criticizing president Trump.

We need to keep complaining about NFL players disrespecting the flag and our soldiers , by kneeling during the national anthem.

We need to keep calling out Black Lives Matter. They don’t want equality. It’s all about hating police and white people.

We need to keep calling out so-called gun control activists. They don’t care about gun violence ; they just want to take our guns away.

We need to keep calling out Antifa. They’re the real fascists.

Everytime we conservatives put on a pair of pampers , we show those smug , self-righteous , and sanctimonious libs , that we too can have our safe spaces – which are the confines of our own diapers – and by doing so , we own them in epic fashion.