Laura Ingraham Suffers Breakdown Over Lamestream Media Criticism Of Melania Trump

http://insider.foxnews.com/2018/12/14/laura-ingraham-media-bashing-melania-trump-michelle-obama-could-do-no-wrong

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Laura Ingraham , smug , punk a** b***h

Conservatives often say liberals are the real snowflakes , who melt over the slightest politically correct offense. But on last Thursdays Ingraham Angle , Laura Ingraham , went into full melt down mode over CNN’s criticism of First Lady Melania Trump’s interview with Sean Hannity. According to anonymous witnesses at Fox News , some of their commentators are the most sensitive snowflakes in mainstream media.

In an earlier interview with Sean Hannity , Melania Trump criticized comedians , politicians , journalists , and Hollywood elites for using her family name to advance themselves.

“Let’s face it , Sean ,” she said. “No other first lady has been bullied more than me , and no other president has been hated more than my husband.”

CNN and other media commentators referred to the comments as a ‘meltdown’ by the first lady.

“You could tell Laura Ingraham was offended by CNN’s criticism of Melania Trump ,” an anonymous female witness told the Journal.

“I’ve never liked Laura. To me , she’s nothing more than an elitist snob , and most of the men , with the exception of Shepard Smith , and possibly Juan Williams , are nothing more than male chauvanist , elitist pricks , like Tucker Carlson , always whining about elitist liberal pricks. How’s that for irony?

“Like a lot of conservatives , because Laura’s conservative , she believes she’s superior to most people , especially liberals , which I believe is the reason for that smug attitude , like she believes it’s beneath her dignity to talk to anyone else , and I always felt the urge to punch her in the face. I’m not normally a confrontational person , but when pushed , I can be quite a handful. I once had a run in with Laura on the set. I won’t go into so many details , but it had to do with a disagreement we had about a certain subject.

” ‘You think you’re right , don’t you , huh girly?’ she said with that hateful smug look. ‘Right , huh , girly? Right? Right? What’s the matter , girly? Cat got your tongue?’

“She was obviously trying to egg me into some sort of confrontation , or a fight , but I wasn’t taking the bait.

” ‘You keep telling yourself that , Missy. Someday you’ll realize you were full of s**t ,’ she said before walking away.

“I never wanted to punch her in the face more than I did at that moment.

“Laura can’t stand it when people disagree with her. She always has to be right. To be a member of the Laura Ingraham fan club , you have to worship Trump and the Republican party , and defend them at every opportunity , and hate Obama , Democrats , and liberals , and bash them whenever convenient. And if you fail to do either one , she considered you her sworn enemy.

“Speaking to her co host , Howard Kurtz , Laura said , ‘I have to agree with her , Howard. No other first lady , I believe , has endured so much hatred as Melania Trump. Not even Michelle Obama. I mean , it’s appalling to me that the mainstream liberal media won’t admit it. Fox News is the only one pointing this stuff out.’ 

“You keep telling yourself that , you smug a** b***h ,” I thought to myself.

“Kurtz agreed. ‘Because she’s a first lady , who for the first time in eight years , who looks like a woman , they mock her accent , her clothes , her feet , her hair and the fact that she used to be a nude model. Despite that , she’s impeccable , flawless. She’s never once said she wasn’t proud of her country , that white folks were the real problem , or that slaves built the White House. Nothing is off limits to them. They hate her no matter what she says or does.’

“Not much of a difference from the way Moochelle was treated by conservatives , huh , Howie?

“Kurtz could on occasion be a smug a** b***h himself , but he wasn’t as infuriating as Ingraham was , and I never felt the urge to punch him in the face. But this time , the urge was overwhelming. He had just referred to Michelle Obama as a man , and that infuriated me. To me , Michelle Obama was more of a woman than Melania Trump could ever be. She had never melted down over the slightest criticism , and never disgraced herself or her position as first lady by posing nude in men’s magazines.

” ‘In contrast , Michelle Obama could do nothing right ,’ Ingraham said.

“Again I wanted to punch the smugness from her face.

” ‘She not only hated her country , had a problem with white people , and the White House , but she also looked masculine , and she often wore men’s clothing.’

“You lying , punk , smug a*** b***h , ” I thought.

” ‘Some people even said she was a man. I mean , everything about her was just the exact opposite of Melania Trump. Her hands and feet looked like they belonged on somebody like Shaquille O’Neal , or Bigfoot. Am I being too unkind? I’m told I’m being rude. Even her butt was too big. OK , let’s leave it at that.’

“Laura’s demeanor suddenly changed. In a matter of a few seconds her attitude went from insufferable smugness , to a mixture of anger and melancholy , but mostly sadness. She looked like she was about to start bawling at any moment. It happened so suddenly I wasn’t sure if it was real or if she was faking it.

” ‘Which is nothing compared to the way Melania is treated by the liberal media ,’ she cried , tears now starting to run down her face , causing her masscara to smear and run as well.

Her voice became more nasal than usual , and she punctuated the end of each sentence with a loud , wet , disgusting sniff , which was even more annoying , as if she were trying to suck the snot back in before it could start dribbling uncontrollably out her nostrils.

” ‘She doesn’t look masculine!’ Sniff! ‘She doesn’t wear men’s clothing!’ Sniff! ‘Her hands and feet aren’t too big!’ Sniff! ‘They don’t look like they belong on Shaquille O’Neal!’ Sniff! ‘Or Bigfoot!’ Sniff! ‘And her butt isn’t too big. ‘ Sniff! ‘But still , Howie , they won’t leave her alone. Why , oh why , Howie , won’t they leave her alone?!’

“She waited for Howie to answer , but when he failed to do so she gave the loudest , most disgusting sniff and started bawling uncontrollably.

“I knew she wasn’t faking it the moment I saw Howie’s reaction. Howie sat there staring at her , not sure how to respond , apparently shaken by her outburst.

“She repeated the question , word for word , the exact way she nearly screamed it at Howie , only this time punctuating each word by pounding on her desk with both fists. The desk shook violently with each blow. When the first blow landed , Howie looked so startled that he jumped almost a foot off his seat. Everyone in the place was staring at her. No one had ever seen her behave this way before. Which wasn’t just unexpected , it was also funny. Hilariously funny.

“She continued to blubber uncontrollably , swaying ever so slightly in her seat , as everyone , including Howie , the camera men , and myself stared at her. She seemed oblivious to everything except her blubbering , which was embarrassing to watch. I always knew Laura was a bit of a snowflake at heart , but this was beyond embarrassing. It was ridiculous.

“Howard finally spoke. ‘Laura , you alright?’

“Laura didn’t answer. She continued to blubber , swaying in her seat , as if she were in a trance or something. Her shoulders heaved with her sobs. Her face was streaked comically with mascarra and tears , and snot bubbled from her nostrils. It was no use trying to suck it back in now.

“She was behaving far worse than my three year old daughter when she didn’t get her way. My daughter could be excused. There was no excuse for Laura behaving this way.

” ‘It’s not fair , Howie ,’ she mumbled. ‘Why won’t they leave her alone?’ She was starting to calm down a bit. ‘Somebody get me a tissue.’

“Nobody wanted to get her a tissue. Howard shoved a box of tissues at her. ‘Laura , snap out of it , ‘ he said. ‘You’re making a fool of yourself.’

“Laura acted as if she hadn’t heard him. She snatched a tissue from the dispenser. She attempted to wipe her nose , but her hand was shaking so badly that she smeared snot all over her face. For a moment she stared at the tissue , then she burst out bawling again.

“From that moment onward , things went from bad to worse for Laura Ingraham , and I can’t say that I felt sorry for her.

“She cried so hard and long after failing to wipe her nose , that she finally fell out of her seat. I knew it was coming. It was inevitable. After all that blubbering , she was bound to hit the floor , and hit it she did , with a solid thump that was so loud that everyone rushed to her side to see if she had injured herself. I thought she might have hit her head on the floor when she fell.

” ‘Laura , are you hurt?’ Howard said. But Laura continued to babble ‘It’s so unfair ,’ over and over again.

“Jesus Christ , ” I said , shaking my head.

” ‘Jesus Christ , ‘ Howard said.

” ‘Jesus Christ ,’ the two camera operators said in unison.

” ‘What the f**k is her problem?’ One of them asked.

“Laura had suffered a breakdown apparently due to her reaction to media criticism of Melania Trump , whom Laura believes is perfect and can do no wrong. Of course , this is just speculation on my part. Other factors may be involved. But that’s what I believe happened. After more than two years of pent up anger , she had finally snapped , and to make matters worse , she had done it during prime time on live TV , making a complete fool of herself. But if I know Laura , she’ll try to spin the situation to her advantage.

“Will the producers cancel her show , or fire her for making a spectacle of herself and the network? One can only hope so. Or , as with Jeanine Pirro , will they be spineless cowards and allow her to continue embarrassing them?

“Whatever happens , Laura Ingraham is an evil b***h , who deserves to be fired.”

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President Trump To Michelle Obama : ‘I Will Never Forgive Obama For Destroying Our Military’

President Trump’s incoherent ‘I’ll never forgive Obama’ rant.

In response to Michelle Obama’s new book , in which she said she would never forgive Trump for his role in birtherism , president Trump told reporters on the White House lawn before leaving for a trip to Paris , that he would never forgive Obama for decimating the military , and for other horrible things he had supposedly done.

“Michelle Obama said what? I haven’t really seen or heard anything about that. I guess she wrote a book or something , maybe a memoire , who knows , something she was paid a lot of money to do , I guess , in which she wrote something controversial?

“You want controversial? Here’s controversial for you. I will never forgive Obama for depleting our military , for destroying our military.”

CNN White House reporter , Abby Phillip : “The United States military has the largest spending budget compared to every other nation combined. It’s ridiculous to suggest that president Obama destroyed it.”

“Not really. It was completely depleted under Obama. It was completely destroyed. It wasn’t funded the way it should have been. It was so old and tired , it was so out of date , it was so worn out , everything was so old and falling apart it was almost as if Obama had dropped a bomb on it , it was so dishevelled. The equipment , the military equipment like the tanks , the planes , the ships , and the military vehicles , almost none of them worked anymore. They were literally falling apart from disuse , they were sitting out in fields gathering dust and rust from years of neglect , because Obama wasn’t spending any more money. The tanks and planes and the military vehicles that did work , Obama often abused for his own personal use , like taking his kids to school and parties , and taking Michelle to beauty salons at tax payers expense , instead of what they were really supposed to be used for , like blowing people up. It was disgraceful.

“But what he did to our men and women in uniform , to our soldiers and military leaders , was even more disgraceful. Their uniforms were also gathering dust , and they were moth-eaten , because Obama was too cheap to spend money on new uniforms. They often had to go into battle with their uniforms falling to shreds , and some even had to go naked because Obama was too cheap to spend a few bucks on uniforms for his own military. And if anyone dared complain , he would say to them , your fired. It was no coincidence that we had a record number of military leaders fired under Obama , because he fired them for complaining about having to wear moth eaten uniforms , having to fight naked , and Obama using military vehicles for his own personal taxi service.

“Even their equipment was falling apart. Their guns were often antiquated – is that the right word I’m looking for , who knows? – they looked like guns from the eighteen hundreds or something. And they often had no bullets. Often they would jam , or back fire into the faces of our brave men and women. And even though they had weapons , half the time they were ordered not to engage the enemy , because Obama told them that ISIS and Al Qaeda were already contained , and not a threat , so he had them all running in the other direction , away from the terrorists , away from ISIS , and Al Quaeda , because he was terrible at foreign policy , he had no idea what he was doing. Under Obama ISIS was allowed to terrorize the middle east , because , and let’s be truthful here , him and crooked Hillary were the founders of ISIS , and it made America very unsafe for you and me.

“But the most disgraceful thing of all , the one thing that bothered our troops the most , is the fact that they were not allowed to say Merry Christmas for eight years. It was disgraceful. Not only were they not allowed to say Merry Christmas , they couldn’t celebrate it because Obama hated Christmas like he hated everything else , including his own military.

” But I came in and fixed everything. I spent tremendous amounts of money on new military vehicles like tanks and planes and ships. I’m not a cheap skate like Obama. They’re no longer rotting in fields gathering dust and rust , they’re doing what they’re supposed to be doing , blowing people up , and he’s not using them to take Michelle and the kids to Disneyland. He wants to , but I told him , no way , get outta here Obama , and I told him he wasn’t using them for his personal taxi service , and I think I hurt his feelings.

“And I spent a tremendous amounts of money on new uniforms. Our troops no longer have to wear uniforms that are falling apart or moth-eaten , or engage the enemy naked. I also spent tremendous amounts of money on new weapons and bullets. They no longer have to use weapons that don’t work , or blow up in their faces , they don’t have to run away like cowards , and nobody’s complaining because I’m making everything great again , and they’re so happy to be able to say Merry Christmas again.”

Obama Shreds Constitution , Uses Shavings As A Salad Topping

As the democratic presidential debates are scheduled to begin this Fall ,  the Obama’s are looking forward to serving a  special dinner in honor of the candidates. It is a dinner that is held every four years at the White House. But this  dinner will be particularly special  , as the Obama’s will shred several copies of the constitution and use the shavings as a salad topping. The president has been accused of shredding the constitution multiple times during his presidency , but this will be the only occasion that this has literally been done.

As the Obama’s announced their plan to shred the constitution  in  a statement to the press , the reactions from their critics were , as usual , predictable.

Fox News interrupted its regular programming to run a twenty-four hour special  condemning the Obama’s. Guest commentators included Sarah Palin , Rush Limbaugh ,  and  many others.

“Who does Obama think he is?” Sarah Palin said indignantly. “For six years we have watched this tyrant demonstrate his hatred of freedom and liberty by shredding the constitution with his executive orders , his support of the LGBT gay Gestapo , persecuting Christians , his support of Muslim terrorists by sending them flowers and assorted goodies in drones , giving Al Qaeda terrorists jobs in the White House , and allowing them to teach their Godless Muslim religion in our public and private schools. And now this! Shredding the constitution to feed it to his communist liberal friends in a salad , for Pete sake! Isn’t Thousand Island dressing – or any number of dressings for that matter – good enough for them? What about Wyler’s seasoned salt? That’s what I prefer on my salad. Certainly not the constitution. What will they do with it next? Substitute it for sugar in Sasha and Malia’s cereal , for God sake? That’s a fine example to set for your kids. This is just one more example of how the Obama’s hate America and everything it stands for!”

Rush Limbaugh said ,”It knew this day was coming folks. I made this prediction just last month. I predicted that the Obama administration was coming for our freedom and our guns. And I was right. This is it! This so-called dinner party is just the beginning of the end. The Obama Youth Brigade will be called out , along with his other army , the Black Panther Youth Of America Thugs , and the pillaging , the rioting and the race war will begin.”

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Glen Beck lamenting the demise of America for the umpteenth time on his radio show.

Glen Beck gave an impassioned speech on his radio show , moving not only himself to tears , but his co-hosts , Pat and Stu , and his entire audience of listeners. Many of them called in to cry along with him.

“I’m sorry for the tears , ladies and gentlemen , and patriotic gun loving Americans ,” he said , pausing to blow his nose. “I normally don’t cry at all. But today is a special occasion for tears. I just love my country so much that it breaks my heart to see it destroyed on a daily basis by this socialist Marxist communist , Nazi , gay Muslim administration.

“Very soon , life as we know it will cease to exist. We are living in the last days as foretold in the book of Revelations. The Anti-Christ , Barack Obama , and his satanic minions plan to  shred the constitution of the United States , serve it in a salad to  the evil liberal democrats  , declare martial law , take our guns away , and throw us all into Fema camps. Never mind that I once said I could find no evidence for their existence. That doesn’t really matter right now.

“Are you afraid , ladies and gentlemen , and patriotic gun loving Americans? If you’re not , well , you should be. If you think this is a joke , well , it’s not. The America that you and I love with all of our God-fearing hearts , will be taken away from us , and the communist liberal , socialist , Nazi , gay Muslim take over of the United States – that you and I have feared all of our lives , that the John Birch Society has tirelessly warned us of – will finally come to pass. There is no hope for the future , ladies and gentlemen. Please join me in a moment of silence , as we remember America as it once was.”

In a response to the media back lash over the announcement to shred copies of the constitution and use the shavings as a salad topping , Michelle Obama declared that it had been nothing more than a hoax to get a reaction from their conservative critics ,  and like a hungry fish , the lame stream media eagerly took the bait.

Obama Wants To Eat Your Kids

Aviary Photo_131066935447578748  Michelle Obama released her cook book ‘American Grown‘ in the summer of 2012. Since it’s release , she has campaigned tirelessly to get Americans , and especially children to exercise with her Let’s Move America campaign , and to eat healthier with her school lunch program. But true patriotic Americans are not buying it. And neither are students and their parents. They are fed up with the First Lady , and are letting her know it.

While most people probably couldn’t care less , some Americans – notably , Conservatives – see this attempt by the First Lady as something much more sinister. As most well-informed Conservative Republicans know , the Obama’s are pure evil and are bent on destroying America and everything it stands for. So it is no surprise that the First Lady would implement such a program. To them , it is just another attempt by the Obama’s to further limit our freedoms  , and ultimately destroy America.

I talked recently with Sarah Palin , who voiced her concerns about this program.

“Michelle Obama thinks she has everyone fooled with her Healthy , Hunger Free Kids Act ,” she said. “But if you watch Fox News , Glen Beck ,  and other conservative media that are not afraid to report the truth , then you know for a fact that she’s not fooling everybody. The only ones who are being fooled are the communist liberals who believe the lies of the communist liberal media. We know the truth about this deceitful program , and we have the facts. Most Americans believe it is nothing more than a harmless program to provide healthier school lunches. But the truth is that this program is designed to allow communist liberal  , Marxist , Nazi , gay Muslims to further infiltrate and control our public and private schools by telling our children what they can and cannot eat.

“First they’re removing God from public and private schools , and replacing Christianity with their Godless Muslim religion , and now this. This is exactly how communist liberal , Nazis , Marxist , gay Muslims behave. And the Obama’s have been behaving this way ever since Barack’s first election. And Americans are getting fed up with it. But thank God these communist liberal , Marxist , Nazi , gay Muslim tyrant dictators won’t be in power much longer. I just hope they don’t take our guns away and throw us all in Fema camps before that happens.”

Victoria Jackson , conservative blogger , and writer , has expressed her own concerns about this seemingly innocent program. And while her concerns may seem reasonable to some , they are certainly bizarre.

“There is nothing innocent about it ,” she said. “I believe it’s more than just an attempt to get our kids to eat  healthier. When I first heard about this program , I suspected there was something more to it. I began to question the purpose behind the program. Could it really be a harmless attempt to get Kids interested in exercising and eating right? Or is it something to be suspicious about? They are communists , after all , and communists are evil and everything they do is evil. And that’s when it hit me. It wasn’t something harmless. It was something so unbelievable , and so sinister that most of us would never believe it. I believe it is a subtle attempt to gain total control of our schools and our kids for a much more sinister purpose. And I believe that purpose is to get as many students as possible ,  so sick and tired of all the healthy crap they will be force-fed with this program , that they will gorge themselves on as much junk food as they can. And when enough of them are plump and fat enough , they will be in invited to a special surprise dinner at the White House , and then they will find out what Michelle Obama’s school lunch program is really all about. But by then , it will be too late for them. There will be no hope.

“Remember that Twilight Zone episode , To Serve Man , where the aliens who all looked like Lurch from the Addams Family, came to earth to eat everybody? Well , I wrote a book called ,  To Serve Obama : How Barack Obama The Kenyan , Voodoo , Muslim CannibalPlans To Eat Our Kids , With Michelle Obama’s School Lunch Program. It’s a wake up call to warn Americans of Michelle’s book , American Grown , which is really nothing more than a  cook book.

” Please read it , and take action. We must impeach the communist liberal , Nazi , Marxist , gay , cannibal Muslim before he eats all of our kids!”