Posted in Stupid Conservative memes

Stupid Conservative Memes #82_Libs Are Snowflakes, Even Though Conservatives Have Actually Worn Diapers Who Always Soil Themselves Over Liberal Opinions And Ideas

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Pictured above : how mature conservatives reacted when Colin Kaepernick took a knee. They didn’t get angry, upset, cry, curse, burn his jersey, or send him death threats.

Everyone knows liberals are nothing but crybabies, who take offense at the slightest micro aggression, while conservatives are just the opposite. Below are a number of examples where conservatives have read liberal opinions without getting angry, upset, crying, cursing, unfriending, reporting, or otherwise acting like big babies :

    • Colin Kaepernick kneeling for the national anthem to silently protest police brutality against people of color. No conservative howled and screamed bloody murder, called him unpatriotic, burned his jersey, called him names, or accused him of disrespecting the flag, America, the sacred troops, or threatened to kill him.
    • A certain shoe company hired him as a spokesperson for their Just Do It campaign. Conservatives calmly and respectfully disagreed with the shoe company’s decision. No conservatives filmed themselves burning their Nikes and uploaded them to YouTube for all the world to see. Nor did a single conservative call for a boycott, or return their Nikes for a refund because their precious feelings were more hurt than their feet.
    • Keurig decided to pull ads from Hannity over his support of Roy Moore. Absolutely no conservatives in America, or the Fox News audience for that matter, filmed themselves smashing their coffee makers in fits of anger.
    • Anti LGBT bigot Kim Davis was jailed for contempt  of court orders to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples. Not one conservative cried about how she was being persecuted by the liberal media and the militant gays. No Republican politicians appeared on Fox News to whine about judicial tyranny. They were completely OK with it.
    • The Boy Scouts Of America announced they would allow females to join. Liberals either didn’t really care one way or another, or welcomed it. Conservatives had a slightly different opinion. Besides acting totally mature about it, the general consensus was that the Boy Scouts were waging a war against masculinity, and liberals were acting like snowflakes for allowing it to happen.
    • The popular coffee company, Starbucks, announced they would hire thousands of immigrants. Conservatives took to social media to not to complain, or call for a boycott, but simply to suggest that Starbucks hire veterans instead of filthy brown people.
    • Been And Jerry’s came out with a statement in support of Black Lives Matter. The Blue Lives, and All Lives Matter crowd, who are totally OK with black people speaking out about police brutality and racism, declared they would continue eating the popular chain’s ice cream, even though B & J pushed a narrative about racism in law enforcement – which conservatives know there totally is not, it’s nothing but a liberal lie – instead of admitting that they really hate white people and law enforcement.
    •  To demonstrate their maturity when it comes to liberal ideas, conservatives such as members of TPUSA never actually wore diapers on college campuses to own the libs. Liberals misinterpreted the whole thing. It was meant to be a metaphorical display of how liberals are the real crybabies. 
    • Ilhan Omar had the nerve to criticize AIPAC, the Jewish lobby’s influence on the U.S. government. Conservatives ( including the president ) in the media and online, reacted calmly by totally accepting her opinion, instead of smearing her as an anti Semite, and a terrorist, or send her death threats.
  •  When Alexandria Ocasio Cortez proposed a new green energy resolution, conservatives didn’t scream socialism, get angry or cry that it was the end of the free world, or that she was going to ban cows, their farts, and outlaw hamburgers. 

These are just a few examples where conservatives have demonstrated how wonderfully superior they are to liberals in every way, and never act like big babies, as liberals always do.

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Posted in John Hawkins, satire/humor

What Liberals Believe ( Liberals Are Still Loons )

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Conservative sleuth , John Hawkins , sniffing out them evil , treasonous , America hating liberals.

 

Since the election of Donald Trump , liberals have gotten even crazier than they’ve ever been , and it’s all Barack Obama’s fault , because he was  jealous that Hillary Clinton lost , even though he rigged it with the help of ACORN , Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless , illegal aliens , and the walking dead , yes , the real walking dead , just as he rigged the last two elections with the same characters.

1) Liberals believe Trump will play more golf than Obama did. The truth is , all Obama did was play golf while the world went to hell.

2) Liberals believe Trump will sign more executive orders. The truth is , all Obama did was sign executive orders while the world went to hell. When he wasn’t signing executive orders , he was playing golf , and when he wasn’t playing golf , he was signing executive orders.

3) Liberals believe Trump is a racist because he wanted to build a wall to keep out those murderous , drug dealing illegal immigrants. But it’s really liberals who are racist because they want them to come here and collect welfare , food stamps , and do jobs “no American would want to do.”

4) Liberals believe Trump hates Muslims because his immigration ban will prevent them from coming here and murdering us in our sleep. 

5) Liberals believe ACORN doesn’t exist anymore. But the truth is , ACORN is still trying to rig the voting system for Democrats. They tried it in 2016 , and will most likely try it again in 2020.

6) Liberals don’t believe Obama spied on Trump. The truth is , Obama trained his dogs , Sonny and Bo to infiltrate Trump Towers to tap the phones. Those dogs are clever. They are also communists like Obama.

7) Liberals don’t believe Obama is on a permanent vacation. The truth is , ever since Obama entered the White House in 2009 , he has been on a permanent vacation. According to an unknown source , he was even planning to write a book called My Endless vacation In The White House.

8) Liberals are so delusional , they believe evolution and global warming are real. Even though there is no evidence for either , but refuse to believe in God even though there is a mountain of evidence. 

9) Liberals believe Obama is no longer playing golf. Even though he had banned all golf courses by executive order , for his personal use.

10) Liberals believe Conservatives hated Obama because he is black. Which proves they are the racists. Conservatives don’t like Obama because he was really born in Kenya. 

And there you have it , ten reasons why liberals are still loons.

Posted in Stupid Conservative memes

Stupid Conservative Memes #49 Big Government Conservatism in Five Steps

 

… when Conservatives don’t get their way.

                                      

I don’t know what this one has to do with big government.  

Conservatism in three easy steps.

1) Don’t know facts/just make up shit.

2) Repeat what you see on Fox News , and hear from Rush Limbaugh.

3) Same-sex marriage/ State governments should decide.

4. Defund Planned Parenthood.

5. If a liberal disagrees with you ,  call them a socialist.

Conservatives don’t mind big government in their lives when it suits them. When it doesn’t , it sucks.

Posted in alternate facts

Stupid Conservative Memes #48 How To Speak Stupid , Part 1

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… when Conservatives don’t get their way.

Liberal hating Conservatives live in an alternate reality with alternate facts , and they have their own alternate language with an alternate definition. And those alternate facts are that all liberals are evil , America hating authoritarians who want to destroy free speech. To an extent , this is true. There is a fringe minority of liberals who want to shut out Conservative speech and ideas , just as there is a fringe minority of Conservatives who are just as authoritarian and want to shut down debate. This is evident whenever liberals bring up racial profiling , or police abuse against unarmed people of color , they get accused of playing the race card , of race baiting. They’ve constructed this bullshit argument that you can’t disagree with a liberal , or Obama without being called a racist. It’s an accusation that’s designed to shut down their opponents , while pretending they are the real victims of racism at the hands of liberals.

Liberals , for the most part , will admit when they are wrong. That’s the difference between liberals and Conservatives. Conservatives like Rush Limbaugh , John Hawkins , and Mark Levin , are convinced beyond any doubt that their ‘team’ is always right , can do no wrong , and that they are the only ones who are capable of loving their country. Which is bullshit.           

Here are twenty terms that Conservatives have constructed their own reality around.

 1) OBAMA CARE : Socialism. Government take over of health care. Socialized medicine. Worse than slavery , the holocaust , 9/11. Contains death panels. Reparations for slavery. The largest tax increase in American history. Total enslavement. 

2) TAXES :   Evil. Government greed. Taxing the lower class … capitalism. Taxing the wealthy … socialism.

3) LIBERAL/PROGRESSIVE : Communist/Marxist/socialist. Nazi. Un-American. Anti-American.  

4TERRORIST. Muslim. “Not all Muslims are terrorists , but all terrorists are Muslims.”  All Muslims are guilty by default. 

5) WHITE TERRORIST/SHOOTER : Mentally ill lone wolf. Don’t blame the white guy. Conservative wind bag Mark Levin swore up and down on his radio show , that the confederate flag had no connection to Dylann Roof’s shooting spree. That the liberal media was just making it all up.

6) CORRUPT COPS WHO SHOOT OR MURDER UN-AMRMED CIVILIANS : Victims smeared by a liberal media. Heroes.

7) UNARMED BLACK INDIVIDUALS KILLED BY BAD COPS :  Thugs.

8) BARACK OBAMA : Communist/Marxist/socialist ( because the N word is no longer appropriate ). Hates America. 

9) THE SOCIAL SAFETY NETS , i.e. , WELFARE , FOOD STAMPS , etc. : Socialism.

10) ACKNOWLEDGING RACIAL BIAS :  Race-baiting. 

  

 

Posted in John Hawkins, satire/humor

More Reasons Not To Trust A Liberal ( Or Why I Still Hate Liberals ) , Part 2

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John Hawkins , Rightwing News.

Even though Obama is no longer in the White House , I will continue making fun of liberals. So , here is my continuing list of Why I Still Hate Liberals …

1) They don’t believe Obama is persecuting Christians. Ever since Obama became president , Christians and Conservatives have been under attack. They’ve been attacked  in the streets all over America by liberal mobs angry at the fact that Conservatives and Christians are wishing them Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays. Liberals are such wimps.

2) They believe Ted Nugent is a draft dodging pants pooper. Ted is a real American patriot , because he hunts  , and hates liberals , not because he dodged the draft by pooping his drawers.

3) They’re slobs. When liberals eat , they can’t help but act like the slobs they are. It’s in their nature. It’s in their genes. Liberals are born to be slobs. They have no qualms about belching and farting around others , and at the dinner table. Liberals are such pigs.

4) If Jesus were black or Muslim , they would gladly believe in him. When Megan Kelly claimed Jesus was white , liberals had a fit , proving how racist they are. They can’t stand the fact that Jesus is white and will always be white.

5) They don’t believe in Santa Claus. Again , liberals would believe in Kris Kringle if he were black , but he’s also white , and American , whether they believe it or not. It’s just a fact.

6) They have warts. Liberals are ugly , which is why only they have warts.

7) They love to eat children. It’s a fact that liberals will eat anything , even kids. In fact , liberals will gladly eat their own kids if they had nothing else to eat.

8) They’re sex maniacs. When liberals aren’t eating kids , babies , puppies , and everything else , they’re sex maniacs. They’re either masturbating relentlessly or humping each other like wild animals. liberals are so nasty.

9) They’re serial killers. Everyone knows liberals are serial killers. Want proof? See #7.

10) They believe Wheaties really are the breakfast of champions. You read that right. Liberals really are that stupid.

And there you have it , more reasons why I still hate liberals and wouldn’t touch one even if they converted to Christianity , which is not very likely , since liberals hate Christians.

Posted in John Hawkins

More Reasons Not To Trust A Liberal ( Or Why I Hate Still Hate Liberals ) Part 1

Conservative sleuth , John Hawkins , sniffing out them evil , treasonous liberals.

There are so many reasons not to trust liberals. They’re morons , they’re idiots , they’re fascists  , they’re communists , they hate America , and are destroying it without realizing it because they’re too dumb to realize how dumb they are. So , I’ve come up with another list of more reasons not to trust a liberal , and why I hate them. Here are the first ten.

1) They don’t believe Obama is a Muslim Manchurian candidate It was clear from the start that Obama was a Muslim terrorist put into the White House by his pals in the Muslim brotherhood , who have themselves infiltrated the White House.  

2) They don’t believe Obama is a Marxist communist. Both of his parents were communists. Frank Marshall Davis was also a communist , as is Bill Ayers. So , just by the fact that he was associated with communists makes him a communist , and most likely helped them plant explosives and kill people when he was a kid.

3) They refuse to believe he is worse than Hitler. Obama is more like Hitler than liberals will admit. The fact that he issued executive orders with his magic pen and more of them than any other president , definitely makes him a dictator.

4) They don’t believe he’s a racist and a bigot. Obama proved himself to be an anti-white racist when he sympathized with known cracker haters Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown.  Trayvon Martin was a teenage thug who refused to comply with George Zimmerman , and Brown was a maniacal thug who beat up a white cop. Obama also criticized James Crowley for arresting his friend Henry Louis Gates. 

5) They don’t believe Michelle Obama is really a transsexual. Any fool can see that Michelle Obama has had a sex change operation. Her shoulders are athletic and muscular , and some people who are close to her have sworn that she has a prominent bulge in her pants. 

6) They don’t believe Obama is gay. Look at Michelle Obama. No more proof is necessary. 

7) They don’t believe white people are the new victim of racism. Ever since the Obama’s took over the White House , they have divided America , and have demonized white people.

8) They don’t believe feminists are Nazis. All feminists are Nazis like Obama and want to imprison all Conservatives in Fema camps , also like Obama does.

9) They refuse to believe Obama’s birth certificate was faked. Was his birth certificate a fake? We may never know since his records have been permanently sealed.

10) They refuse to believe that it really was Obama’s fault that Track Palin abused his girlfriend. Everything is Obama’s fault. There’s no disputing that fact. 

And those are the first ten reasons why I hate liberals and wouldn’t trust one to pick my nose for me even if I was a paralysed  invalid.

Posted in Stupid Conservative memes

Stupid Conservative Memes #21

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Actually , none of these make liberals cry.

1) Liberals also own guns. The idea that liberals in general hate guns is absurd. Many Conservatives are gun nuts , who believe that even the most moderate forms of gun control are an infringement on their second amendment rights ; liberals tend to be more rational when it comes to firearm regulations.

2) Just as many liberals also love the flag. The notion among Conservatives that liberals are not patriotic and don’t love their country , is also laughably absurd.

3) Most liberals don’t care what football teams name themselves.

4) Many liberals have criticized Barack Obama when he does something they don’t support. The notion that all liberals blindly worship and approve of everything he does , is laughably absurd. Conservatives who hate him , are not paying attention.

5) Many liberals are Christians themselves , and are highly critical of Islam. Conservatives have a real problem labeling all Muslims as terrorists , hence the absurd phrase , ‘not all Muslims are terrorists , but all terrorists are Muslims ,’ which is contradictory. They also have a problem defending white nationalist terrorism like some liberals do with Islam.

6) Many liberals also hunt.

7) No rational liberal would watch Fox News , so that one is correct.

8) Again , the idea that liberals hate the Constitution , is  ridiculous. 

9) Conservatives believe they have a monopoly on patriotism. They believe that hating Democrats , liberals , Barack Obama , Hillary Clinton , amassing hoards of firearms , and wrapping themselves in the flag while denying civil rights to others , makes them patriots.

The liberal version :

Things that make Conservatives cry :

Moderate , reasonable gun control. Whaaa!

Anyone who doesn’t display extreme nationalism , such as standing for the National anthem ; anyone who criticizes police brutality involving the death of an unarmed black individual. Whaaa!

Anyone who criticizes Der Furher Donald Trump. Whaaa!

Anyone who criticizes Christianity. We’re so oppressed! Whaaa!

Animal rights activists. Whaaa!

Environmental activists. Whaaa!

Gay rights activists. Whaaa!

Anyone who criticizes Fox News. Whaaa!

Anyone who doesn’t hate Obama , liberals , Democrats , and gays. Whaaa!

Anyone who doesn’t hate Muslims. Whaaa!

Anyone who criticizes Israel’s imperialism. Whaaa!

Anyone who criticizes Americas imperialism. Whaaa!

Posted in Conservative Correctness, Political Correctness

Politically Correct Terms Conservatives Love … Part 2

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 Conservatives are helpless victims , forever bullied by liberals and progressives who want to shut down their free speech … or so they want you to believe. The truth is , Conservatives oppose political correctness because they want to treat anyone they don’t like as badly as they can without consequence. In other words , they would rather be assholes.

The following are ten more politically correct terms used by Conservatives to portray themselves as victims while smearing their opponents.

  1. Obama/liberal/progressive/government hating radical = “Patriot.” Recently Conservatives all over America demonstrated what fragile pussies hypocrites they really are when a football player by the name of Colin Kaepernick made the choice not to stand during the National Anthem , because he wanted to call attention to the fact that racism and police brutality against minorities is still a very real problem. Why he was refusing to stand , was completely ignored. Instead attention was focused on the  absurd notion that he hates America , and was being disrespectful to military personnel. The irony or hypocrisy in this situation is that Conservatives see no problem with  slandering liberals , Democrats , or the current president as un-American , and accusing them of treasonous or subversive behavior. The president is the commander-in-chief. When anyone disrespects him , they’re disrespecting all military personnel , including those who fought for their freedom to be assholes. But because it’s Obama , that rule doesn’t apply with Conservatives.
    There was a time when the word patriot meant something. It meant addressing grievances in a peaceful manner , through marching in the streets , writing those who are supposed to represent us. But today , in the age of Obama , Conservatives have twisted it’s meaning. It’s no longer about protesting peacefully. It’s about hating and slandering the current president and Democrats as being sympathetic to communism , to terrorists ; treating armed insurgents as true patriots , and those who do protest peacefully , as un-American. 
  2.  “Terrorist” = Person of color , whether they are Islamic radicals , or members of Black Lives Matter who protest peacefully. Recently Tomi Lahren of The Blaze Network embarrassed herself when she tweeted a comparison of Black Lives matter to the KKK. Apparently they’ve been roaming the country lynching white people because they want to overthrow white dominance. Systemic racism has nothing to do with it , nor does the fact that there just might be a real problem with racism in law enforcement. Black people  want to riot because it’s just how they are. Again , the irony here is that people like Lahren and those who listen to her , refuse to believe that Christians can be radicalized by their religion. But there have been plenty of cases where Conservative Christians have committed acts of terror in the name of not only God but anti-government rhetoric.
  3. “Cop hater” = Anyone who criticizes a police officer’s criminal behavior ( as if they can do no wrong ) , such as the shootings or murders of black individuals ,  like Michael Brown , Freddie Gray , and Eric Garner , or daring to suggest that cops should wear body cameras.  Ironically , Obama was accused of hating cops after the Dallas police shootings for making sane , rational statements condemning the killings. In the Conservative bubble where fiction is often regarded as fact , Obama hates law enforcement because … something. 
  4. “Lone Wolf” = a term Conservatives and the media use to describe anti-government , or white supremacist shooters.  Last year Dylan Roof walked into a black church in Charleston , SC , and murdered nine people. Roof . a known racist , confessed that he did it because he hoped it would start a race war. But the main stream Conservative media attempted to make it appear as if race had nothing to do with it. The message : when a shooter is a radical Muslim , all Muslims are accountable and are terrorists by default. But  a white Conservative shooter who has been radicalized by anti-government or anti-black hatred ,  that person is not considered a terrorist but a “lone wolf” with mental issues.
  5. “Traitor” =  A favorite word Conservatives love to throw at liberals , especially those who support the current president. Obama himself has been accused of treason for his executive orders ( which Conservatives have absurdly described as lawless behavior , comparing him to a dictator ; they didn’t seem to mind Bush’s lawless behavior ) ; same-sex marriage ; Benghazi ( a non scandal ) ; the Iran Deal ( which Conservatives have falsely claimed would allow Iran to develop a nuclear weapon ) ; aiding ISIS ( also absurd since the U.S. is currently at war with them ) ; executive action on amnesty for illegal immigrants ( which was blocked by Republicans and the Supreme Court ) ; weakening the military ( another absurd claim ) ; legal abortion ; the non Ebola crises ; Fast And Furious ( another non scandal ) ; the imaginary war on Christianity ( it doesn’t matter that he’s a Christian , he still hates them  ) ; the imaginary war on Christmas ; gun control ( even though he hasn’t grabbed a single gun ) ;  and perhaps the most absurd claim of all , his hatred of America.  You name it , the Republican Party and their rabid supporters have had a hard on for impeachment for eight years.  Are any of these impeachable offenses? Well , they are to those who hate Obama with a passion  and are unable to distinguish fantasy from reality.
  6. Race- baiter” = Anyone black or white ( preferably black ) who attempts to talk about racial discrimination against minorities. This was evident during the Ferguson and Baltimore riots and protests as the Conservative and much of mainstream media bent over backward to defend police brutality and blame the black community for the bad behavior of certain cops , and accusing Obama , Jesse Jackson , Al Sharpton , and the so-called liberal media of inciting  racial tension as a means of attempting to start a race war. Anger over the killings of Michael Brown , Freddie Gray , Eric Garner , and the failure of the justice system to convict the officers involved in their deaths , and charge them at least with involuntary manslaughter , apparently didn’t play a role in these situations. Black people are just animals and look for any excuse to riot. 
  7. “Bigot” = Another  word Conservatives love to use to accuse liberals or anyone who opposes anti-gay bigotry. It’s also used to besmirch and demean the reputation of non believers. Some Christians view all atheists as bigots , and believe they want to suppress their religious freedom. But most atheists are not bigoted because they do not seek to stifle , ban , or outlaw religious freedom. Many Conservative Christians however do wish and have supported the efforts of Republican politicians to discriminate against gay citizens under the guise of “religious freedom”, and are by definition ,  bigots. 
  8. “Militant atheists” = See bigot.
  9. “Militant homosexual” = A gay activist who advocates for the advancement and ethical treatment of other gay individuals. 
  10. “Racist” = A black person , liberal , or anyone who complains about the unethical treatment of minorities. Because anti-black racism no longer exists in the age of Obama. See also race-baiter.    
Posted in Angie Harmon

Republicans Have Class : They Don’t Point Fingers , Unlike Liberals Who Are Rude , Racist And Intolerant And It’s All Because Of Obama

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“I don’t care if you’re a republican , or a democrat getting crucified for the way you think or believe. If it’s not hurting anyone , it’s un-American.”      Republicans conveniently ignore their own hypocrisy , while accusing  liberals of doing the same. To them , criticizing Obama and liberals , is patriotism. When liberals criticize a republican president , it’s un-American.

 

 

Angie Harmon is a conservative actress. She’s starred in several forgettable movies and television roles since she began her  acting career in the mid to late 1990s. Her first acting role was in an episode of the television series , Renegade , with Lorenzo Lamas. She later co-starred with David Hasselhoff in Baywatch Nights , which was a spin-off the popular television series.

From 1998 to 2001 , she co-starred in the long running Law And Order , which was finally cancelled in 2010 , but unfortunately several spin offs are still putting viewers to sleep. These days she plays a detective in the equally forgettable television series , Rizzoli And Isles , which has also been known to cause deep states of catatonia.

George Bush , The Cowboy president - aka John Wayne. Kept Americans safe , even as thousands died on 9/11 , and the two wars that followed.
George Bush , The Cowboy president – aka John Wayne – giving his post 9/11 speech that moved gullible republicans to tears. Kept Americans safe , even as thousands died on 9/11 , and the two wars that followed.

As a conservative ,  Angie believed George Bush was a wonderful president , and said so when she spoke in support of him at the Republican National Convention , when she referred to him as a leader working to build a safer world , and a hopeful America. This , in the midst of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars when Americans were dying in a country that had nothing to do with 9/11. Wars that proceeded to destabilize the middle east ( leading to the emergence of ISSIS ) the embarrassing scandal of Abu Graib , and drowning the U.S. economy in debt , leading to the financial collapse of 2007/2008.

If these are examples of making the world safer , and providing hope for a future America , no wonder conservatives have no grasp of irony.

She belongs to a group of elite Hollywood actors who see themselves as vastly outnumbered , helpless victims of a massive communist liberal conspiracy that controls and encompasses not only the news and entertainment media , but every aspect of American life. They suffer from a persecution complex. They view themselves as victims of not only liberals , but atheists , and gays , who they fear will soon imprison them for opposing same-sex marriage , and for expressing their religious beliefs. They live in an alternate reality where they imagine themselves blacklisted and persecuted for criticizing their opponents – liberals , and Obama – as it was during the 1950’s  anti-communist hysteria , started by the John Birchers , when liberal actors , writers , musicians , and political activists were accused by republicans of being communists , and actually were blacklisted. The Dixie Chicks controversy was a perfect example of republican hypocrisy.

Aviary Photo_130934998449949521March 10 , 2003 , during a concert in London , several days prior to the start of the Iraq war , Natalie Maines voiced her frustration with the Bush administration. She told the crowd that they did not support the war , and that she was embarrassed that Bush was from her home state of Texas. Republicans all over America lost their minds. The conservative media  labeled them as traitors , un-patriotic , and un-American. Radio stations refused to play their music , and many of their own fans turned against them. These days , prominent conservative actors , politicians , writers , commentators , and musicians  have said worse things against liberals and Obama , but none of them have been blacklisted. Ted Nugent is one of many examples that comes to mind. At a 2007 concert he referred to Obama as a POS , and in a later interview , a sub-human mongrel. Other than a visit from the Secret Service , he was neither blacklisted , nor boycotted.

The double standards in the previous examples couldn’t be more clear. When liberals oppose war and unnecessary violence , they’re traitors , un-American , unpatriotic. When conservatives in congress undermine international diplomacy , call the president a communist , a Muslim who sides with Muslim terrorists , accuse him of hating America , and attempting to destroy it , the conservative media calls them patriots. The irony couldn’t be more obvious , but they seem completely incapable of grasping the parallels. They bitch and moan about double standards , but ignore their own hypocrisy , as if only liberals are capable of being hypocrites.

A fine example of republican class. Refers to the current president as a POS , a sub-human mongrel , a communist , and a traitor. Gets invited to the State Of The Union Address. To the conservative media he's a patriot.
A fine example of republican class. Refers to the current president as a POS , a sub-human mongrel , a communist , and a traitor. Gets invited to the State Of The Union Address. To the conservative media he’s a patriot.

In March of 2009 , Harmon gave an interview to Fox News , complaining that people were labeling her a racist for disagreeing with the president. The entire conservative media  salivated like Pavlov’s dog that a republican actress had voiced her dissatisfaction with Obama. Every conservative , Obama hating news site proudly displayed that  Angie Harmon “Is Not A Racist Because She Disagrees With Obama.” It was a day for joyous celebration all over the conservative blogosphere  the likes of which no true patriotic , Tea Party , gun toting , Obama hating American had ever seen. They raised their tea glasses and beer mugs in tribute to  a brave republican actress who had been bullied by liberals throughout her acting career , and was now taking a brave stand against the Muslim communist in the White House. Like any republican with a preconceived notion that the president was a socialist communist , and a Muslim , she felt he wasn’t doing enough to heal the economy , and create jobs.  Apparently , all he had to do was wave his Magic Pen and fix everything in his first two months in office. After all , he is Barack The Magic Negro.

Like so many republican actors who were being regularly blacklisted by liberal Hollywood , Angie couldn’t find a single job , had to sell everything she had , just to survive , and dressed herself and her children in sack cloth.

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Two more fine examples of republican class.

In the same Fox interview , she claimed that republicans have class and don’t point fingers , unlike liberals , who are rude , intolerant , racist , and bigoted.  She , and every other republican , must have been asleep during the primaries of 2008 , just as they’ve been sleeping the last six years.  Angie , like  any typical , Tea Party , self-proclaimed liberal and Obama hating , patriotic American , are unaware that they  suffer from a condition known as Irony Impairment , the inability to recognize their own hypocrisy and double standards. Here are a few glaring examples :

  • Only liberals are intolerant , and Bigoted. Republicans often claim that liberals are intolerant of their views and beliefs , while simultaneously attacking and opposing  anyone and anything they don’t like , whether it’s Muslims , atheists , gays , programs to help the poor , other religions other than Christianity , or same-sex marriage.
  •  Obama , Sharpton , Jackson , liberals , and anyone black or white who talks about racial injustice ,  are race baiters. This has been a repeated claim by Obama haters for six years. Long before he was elected president , he was portrayed as a socialist , a communist , and a Muslim. All code words for foreigner. The birther nonsense was one the most obvious displays of race baiting. This was brought up during the primaries of 2008 , and was eagerly promoted  by the entire conservative media. Another example of non race baiting by conservatives was the Trayvon Martin case. A young unarmed – or in this case  , if you want to count a bag of skittles as being armed – black teenager was stalked and murdered by George Zimmerman , simply because he looked suspicious. To anyone with a small amount of common sense who remembers Obama’s remarks after Zimmerman’s acquittal , were anything but racial. And yet , the conservative media accused him of race baiting , thus proving that conservatives defending the murder of an unarmed black youth because he was an obvious “thug” who deserved what he got , are not race baiters at all. To them , Liberals , Jesse Jackson , Al Sharpton , and any prominent black  leader  who dares to bring up racial injustices , is a race baiter , while ignoring true racial arsonists like Hannity , Beck , Limbaugh , and Palin.
  • The Mainstream Media is controlled by liberals. This is another favorite topic of complaint among conservatives who live in their own alternate version of reality. Everyone from Beck to Limbaugh to every rabid anti-liberal in America , will tell you how communists have cleverly and cunningly infiltrated the news media. The falsehood that conservatives have no voice in the media has been repeated time and time again , despite the fact that the majority of media is controlled by very conservative corporations , and there are more conservative news publications , websites , television channels , and radio stations than there are liberal. Limbaugh , and Beck are two of the most prominent and most successful broadcasters. Despite having no voice in the media , they have somehow managed to amass a huge following , and a huge fortune.
  • Hollywood republicans are bullied and blacklisted for criticizing liberals. Another complaint that’s just as ridiculous as a liberal controlled media. No republican actor has been blacklisted for opposing or criticizing Obama or liberalism , gays , or anything else. Conservatives who claim this nonsense , will always bring up the Phil Robertson case when he was temporarily suspended by A&E for his insensitive comments about gays , as proof of liberal blacklisting , even though his right to free speech was not violated , as loud mouths like Rush Limbaugh , and Sarah Palin claimed. They obviously don’t remember – or choose to ignore – real instances of blacklisting , such as the anti-communist hysteria of the fifties when many liberals were falsely accused of being communists. See also the Dixie Chicks.
  • Liberals are fascists. This is just as ridiculous as claiming that only liberals are racist. To a typical , Tea Party , Obama hating republican , anyone who calls them out on their intolerance of others , is a fascist , and that includes most liberals , democrats , gays – all of whom they compare to the Nazis – and the president – who they have also compared to a Nazi. Anyone who is seeking to control the lives of others , are the true Nazis , and most of them are republicans.
  • Obama is a communist , out to destroy America. With his flimsy , almost non-existent ties to Saul Alinsky , and Bill Ayers , conservatives were accusing him of being a radical communist long before he won the election of 2008.  According to them , these are just a few of the ways that the constitution is being shredded , and spat upon : Obama has appointed an unusual number of Czars. Undeniable proof that he’s a communist. Never mind that Bush appointed thirty-three , to Obama’s thirty-eight.  He’s a lawless tyrant with his executive orders. Again , it doesn’t matter to conservatives that Bush had more ; he loved America , Obama’s hates it and wants to destroy it. He not only hates America , but the second amendment , and is doing everything he can to destroy the right of every patriotic gun loving American , but exactly how he is doing that is unclear. They’ve been screaming about Obama coming for their guns for years , and they will be screaming about it until the moment he leaves office.  The right to bear arms will still be intact , and not a single gun will have been confiscated. He hates Christians and Christianity. Their ridiculous proof is : 1) He was really born in Kenya. Any good conservative knows that because he was born in an African nation , he must have been raised on voodoo magic , so therefore he cannot be Christian. 2) He sides with Muslims. It’s a known fact. His middle name is Hussein. Proof that he’s a Muslim. 3) He’s allowing schools to teach Islam , his favorite religion – ask Victoria Jackson , she knows all about it. 4) Christians are so persecuted in America that they’re not  allowed to mention Jesus Christ , Christianity ,  God , or Merry Christmas in public without fear of being arrested , imprisoned , or bullied by liberals. It doesn’t matter that the majority of Americans identify as Christians , have their own television shows and channels , openly celebrate Christmas ,  have churches on every street corner , are allowed to pray wherever and whenever they choose , and are given preferential treatment. Somehow they are still an endangered species in America  , and it’s all Obama’s fault.

Just as it’s Obama’s fault that liberals are rude , racist , bigoted , and have no class , and always point fingers.

Posted in John Hawkins, satire

One Hundred Ways To Spot A Communist Liberal … Part 9

Aviary Photo_1310720430063096361) They don’t believe Progressive is an insurance company owned and run by communists.

2) They don’t believe the Nazi LGBT are persecuting Christians.

3) They don’t believe in Santa Claus.

4) They don’t believe Jesus is white.

5) They don’t believe Obama is sending flowers and candy , and greeting cards to his Muslim terrorist buddies.

6) They don’t believe the Clinton’s are guilty of murdering their opponents.

7) They don’t believe Hillary is really a gay , communist Muslim , who helped Barack Obama get his Muslim terrorist buddies jobs in the White House.

8) They don’t believe Bill Clinton is also a gay , communist Muslim.

9) They don’t believe the universe is  a hologram controlled by Barack Obama.

10) They don’t believe the moon is really a hollow alien spaceship.

If you know anyone who adheres to any of the above , they are indeed communist liberals in need of mental therapy.