Posted in John Hawkins, satire/humor

How Barack Obama Ruined America And Was the Worst President Ever – Part 4

If you talk to liberals on a daily basis like I do , you will quickly realize how stupid they are. They believe the stupidest things : God isn’t real , global warming is real , the birth certificate is also real , Trump is not making America great again , and Barack Obama was the greatest president who ever lived.

This shows you how clueless liberals are. They live in their own universe. There is no hope for them.

If the following list doesn’t convince you how stupid liberals are , and that Barack Obama was the worst president who ever lived , then you’ve obviously been brainwashed by the lame stream liberal media , and there is also no hope for you.

Selfie Gate : There were many shocking scandals during Obama’s reign of tyranny , some of the worst being , having critics of his excessive vacations and golf outings , permanently silenced. But this scandal is probably his most heinous. When Obama took a selfie with the Boston Red Sox first baseman David ‘Big Pappy’ Ortiz , it was proof that he hated white people and was planning on starting a race war. When that war will be carried out , God only knows. But God knows Big Pappy will be there to fight by his – Obama’s – side. Which was the purpose for the selfie , to recruit Pappy as his general in the war.

Skeet Gate : Here’s one scandal that had me genuinely confused when I heard about it. A 2013 photo of Obama shooting a shot-gun!? Could it be? Was it true? Was the forty-fourth president of the United States a real man who liked to shoot guns like a real American , or a sissy-boy , mom jeans wearing wimp who wilted like a pansy at the sight of a gun?

On closer inspection of the photo , I noticed he was indeed wearing mom jeans , and came to the conclusion that it was fake , a cheap photo shop to make Obama look a real man , not a mom jeans wearing , weak kneed sissy-boy who wilted like a pansy at the sight of a gun , like he really was.

Mars Gate : Obama traveled to the red planet in his youth ,via a DARPA program , where he learned to be a tyrannical America hating , mom jeans wearing dictator.

Baseball Gate : Another failed attempt to make Obama look like a man , instead of the mom jeans wearing , sissy-boy pansy he really was , and is.

Jogging Gate : This one confirmed what conservatives had always suspected , that Obama — and Biden – was always gay. Why else would two grown men run on the White House lawn? For exercise? No , most likely they were having an affair and they didn’t want Michelle – who is really a man – to find out. When they finished their jogging , or whatever they were really doing , they both put their mom jeans back on.

And those are five more ways Obama ruined America and was the worst president ever.

Posted in John Hawkins

How Barack Obama Ruined America And Was The Worst President Ever … Part 3

Conservative sleuth John Hawkins continues his exclusive.

If you dislike Barack Obama as much as I do , then you know for a fact he was the worst American president , from his Marxist policies like Obama care , to giving away free stuff like Obama phones , and other free goodies to keep people on the Democratic plantation.

You can argue until you’re blue in the face , but you will never convince a liberal that he is a commie , Marxist , gay Muslim , and the worst president ever. Because they’re commie , Marxist , gay Muslims themselves.

The following are five more ways Obama ruined America and was the worst president ever.

1) Tee Gate : This scandal is closely linked to Golf Gate , because it demonstrates just how insensitive Obama is , having the audacity of hope to golf while America was in an economic s**t hole and everyone but liberals were living in the poorhouse. They were literally all crammed into homeless shelters , forced to watch Obama on big screen TVs reading from from a teleprompter telling everyone just how great the economy was.

In 2009 Obama deliberately missed a shot just to rub it in the faces of conservatives. It was his Marxist way of saying conservatives are stupid enough to believe the economy is in great shape.

2) Sunny Gate : In 2013 , Sunny Obama , the Obama dog ( who is also a Marxist like her parents ) attempted to kill little Ashtyn Gardner , a guest at the annual White House Christmas party. The Looney liberal media tried to spin it as an accident , but conservatives know what it was really all about. Her parents were conservatives and didn’t like Obama. He knew this and ordered Sunny to push her into the tree.

3) Bike Gate : Almost as bad as golfing were all the times that Obama went bike riding. Looney liberals think these were just harmless outings with his family , showing how ordinary he was. But Obama was anything but ordinary. They were actually covers for what they really were. Obama was smuggling drugs to Mexican drug cartels through thousands of bicycles.

4) Teleprompter Gate : Obama was rumored to be a Harvard law graduate , but was actually so inept he couldn’t speak without a teleprompter. Whenever he would attempt to do so , he would fart nervously and blame it on one of the family dogs. Usually , Bo would get most of the blame.

5) Umbrella Gate : He also couldn’t use an umbrella if his life depended on it. Whenever he would attempt to do so , he would fumble with it for several minutes and eventually always manage to close it around his head , snagging his ears in the process.

And there you have it once again. Five more reasons Obama ruined America and was the worst president ever.

Posted in John Hawkins, satire/humor

How Barack Obama Ruined America And Was The Worst President Ever – Part 2

Conservative sleuth John Hawkins.

Liberals will never admit that Barack Obama was the worst president America ever had , or that he ruined it. To them he was the second coming of Christ who could do no wrong. What they never realized was that he was a wolf in sheep’s clothing , but conservatives were onto him from the start.

The following are five more ways Obama ruined America and demeaned the office of the presidency.

1) Birther Gate : He wouldn’t admit his birth certificate was fake. 

2) Phone/Pen Gate : He said I have a phone and a pen , and I’ll use them. And did he ever. No other president made more phone calls and signed more executive orders.

3) Golf Gate : No other president played more golf than Obama did. It was one of the worst things he could have done as president. It demonstrated his uncanny ability to hang out playing golf with celebrities like Tiger Woods , Jack Nicklaus , and Stephen King , while simultaneously destroying America , and murdering his critics who complained about his golfing. A remarkable feat that the liberal media never covered. 

4) Vacation Gate : No other president took more vacations than Obama did. Most of these vacations were taken at places like Martha’s Vineyards , where the Obama’s often threw extravagant sex orgies with other liberal elites (  they’re all perverts ) at tax payer expense. He also murdered anyone who complained about his vacations. 

5) Gun Gate : He took everyone’s guns away , and had anyone murdered who complained about him taking everyone’s guns away.

And there you have it again. Five more ways Obama ruined America and was the worst president ever. 

 

Posted in Dana Loesch, NRA

A Response To Dana Loesch’s Clinched Fist Of Truth ( Hypocrisy ) Video

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NRA lap dog , Dana Loesch.

🍁 In a video reminiscent of her 2015 “Godless Left” rant , rabid NRA lap dog Dana Loesch has released another comical NRA sponsored video , in which she again calls liberals terrorists. Although she doesn’t call for violence against the “violent Godless left” the intent is implied that they are dangerous and must be dealt with by arming themselves with more guns.  

This video , like the last one , was produced for one purpose , and that purpose is to portray liberals as a dangerous threat to freedom and liberty. The Godless Left video was in response to calls for gun control , after the San Bernardino Inland Empire shooting , in which the New York Daily News mocked Republican thoughts and prayers , with the headline

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God Isn’t Fixing This , sparking an outrage among Conservatives.  The NRA responded , with their favorite lap dog/shill , Dana Loesch accusing liberals of attempting to destroy their freedom to pray , and that liberals were marching hand in hand with Islamic terrorists , singing Kumbaya , simply for calling for an end to gun violence.

These videos are like self-parodies. Conservatives are completely unaware of the glaring hypocrisy  , but liberals can see right through her for the shameless hypocrite she is. Literally everything she accused liberals of doing , was straight out of the  Obama hater’s playbook.

  1.  “They use their media to assassinate real news.” What does this even mean? Real news? Like The Blaze , where truth lives? Which is ironic , since Dana is currently employed at a network with no more credibility than Fox News , and a host of other questionable sources of yellow journalism , such as World Nut Daily , Town Hall , and The Gateway Pundit , AKA The Dumbest Man On The Internet. I’m sure these are all sources of real , credible news to Dana and much of her audience. I’m sure Jim Hoft’s award-winning ( from Accuracy In Media , no less ) journalism must have inspired her tedious career when she was at CNN. Also ironic , Dana has been using her platform to call everything else that doesn’t tow the Conservative line , as fake news. 
  2. “They use their schools to teach children that our president is another Hitler.”
    She states this as if it’s fact , with no evidence to back it up. However ,
    I do recall for the last eight years that Dana and her cronies in the media , attacked a certain president over everything from health care reform ( AKA as Obama Care ) , foreign policy , to gun control , often referencing him not only to Hitler , but every other dictator in modern times. And they used their media to tell their viewers that he hated America , was a communist , and was a friend to Islamic terrorists.
  3. “They use their stars and award shows to advance their narrative over and over again.” I wonder what that narrative could possibly be. Could it possibly be speaking out against police abuse of authority? I understand this is something that’s frowned upon by wing nut Conservatives who believe the police can do no wrong , and anyone who criticizes them must be cop haters , like they accused Obama of hating cops because he had the audacity to question police authority where killings were unjustified.
    It wasn’t too long ago they were using their own celebrities like The Motor City Loudmouth , Rush Limbaugh , and numerous pundits like Tomi Lahren , Janine Pirro , and everyone else at Fox News , to advance their own narratives , that Obama was an anti-white racist , and a cop hater , over situations ranging from criticizing a white cop for arresting a Harvard Law professor in his own home , the events in Ferguson , Baltimore , benign comments on the tragic deaths of several police officers , and a seventeen year old black teenager. Just because he didn’t side with the racist narrative that George Zimmerman was the victim and Martin the aggressor , made him a racist? Not God damn likely.
  4. “They use their ex-president to endorse their resistance.” Apparently , according to Dana , Obama must be directing thousands of Trump haters to loot and destroy property , via mind control , with chips implanted in their heads.
    All to make them march , make them protest” – I doubt they need Obama to motivate them to march , to protest. Trump’s behavior is all the motivation they need – “Make them scream racism” – The irony here is thick enough to cut with a knife – “Sexism , xenophobia , homophobia , smash windows , burn cars , shut down interstates” – I’m sure Trump marchers have never done that , have they? – “airports , bullying and terrorizing the law-abiding” – again , Trump supporters have never done that , have they? There are armed militia wandering the streets in “open carry” states intimidating citizens ; there were armed  militia defending the Bundy ranch ; there were armed Oath Keepers and other militia who had taken over the Malheur wildlife sanctuary , but according to Dana , it’s the left who are doing the intimidating- “until the only option left is for the police to do their jobs and stop the madness.”
    When she mentioned racism , I doubt she was thinking that not too long ago it was her side that was screaming racism at Obama , when pundits and right-wing nut bloggers like John “Obama’s an anti-white racist” Hawkins of Right Wingnut News , and Jim “The Gateway Pundit” Hoft , were making fools of themselves trying to convince their  dense readers that Obama was a rabid anti-white racist , with no evidence to back up their claims.
    Just as I’m sure she was not thinking of the birther movement. She and many of her audience may not have outright endorsed it , but there is no evidence that they denounced it.
    When she mentioned sexism , I doubt she thinking of the many instances when her totally not sexist buddies , Rush Limbaugh , and Ted Nugent demeaned Democratic women like Sandra Fluke , Hillary Clinton , and Nancy Pelosi.
    When she mentioned homophobia , I doubt she was thinking about the wing nut melt down over the Supreme Court decision on same-sex marriage. Nor was she thinking of the time she was moved to tears over the pizza store bigots who refused to bake a pizza for a gay couple , and subsequently started a Go Fund Me account for the true victims – the pizza store owners , that is. If these people had been refusing to bake a pizza for Christians , imagine the stink Dana and her cronies at The Blaze would have raised. It would have given them a legitimate reason to bitch and moan. But , no , it’s the gays who are the real bigots for calling them on their bigotry.
    During the Obama years , the Obama hating “patriots” moaned incessantly about free speech , and oppression under Obama , even as they burned his effigy , called him a communist , a socialist  , a Muslim terrorist , anti-Christian , a racist , a cop hater , compared him countless times to Hitler , claimed he hated America , wasn’t an American ,  and if anyone dared criticize them , or push back , they were often accused of playing the race card.

     All these videos have demonstrated , is that Conservatives like Loesch are disingenuous. They don’t really care about honesty. All they care about is furthering their own agenda , and that agenda is to sell more guns despite the countless children that will be massacred , and transform America into an armed police state , where any form of dissent by their political enemies – liberals – is seen as treasonous. They ultimately succeed in making themselves look foolish by accusing liberals of the very same tactics they engage in.

    Update : I often wonder if images like these haunt shameless hypocrites like Dana Loesch , who believe basic gun control is a violation of their second amendment right. Hypocrites who accuse others of having blood on their hands , while defending and making excuses for those who truly do have blood on their hands :
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Herself , and the NRA.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in John Hawkins, satire/humor

What Liberals Believe ( Liberals Are Still Loons )

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Conservative sleuth , John Hawkins , sniffing out them evil , treasonous , America hating liberals.

 

Since the election of Donald Trump , liberals have gotten even crazier than they’ve ever been , and it’s all Barack Obama’s fault , because he was  jealous that Hillary Clinton lost , even though he rigged it with the help of ACORN , Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless , illegal aliens , and the walking dead , yes , the real walking dead , just as he rigged the last two elections with the same characters.

1) Liberals believe Trump will play more golf than Obama did. The truth is , all Obama did was play golf while the world went to hell.

2) Liberals believe Trump will sign more executive orders. The truth is , all Obama did was sign executive orders while the world went to hell. When he wasn’t signing executive orders , he was playing golf , and when he wasn’t playing golf , he was signing executive orders.

3) Liberals believe Trump is a racist because he wanted to build a wall to keep out those murderous , drug dealing illegal immigrants. But it’s really liberals who are racist because they want them to come here and collect welfare , food stamps , and do jobs “no American would want to do.”

4) Liberals believe Trump hates Muslims because his immigration ban will prevent them from coming here and murdering us in our sleep. 

5) Liberals believe ACORN doesn’t exist anymore. But the truth is , ACORN is still trying to rig the voting system for Democrats. They tried it in 2016 , and will most likely try it again in 2020.

6) Liberals don’t believe Obama spied on Trump. The truth is , Obama trained his dogs , Sonny and Bo to infiltrate Trump Towers to tap the phones. Those dogs are clever. They are also communists like Obama.

7) Liberals don’t believe Obama is on a permanent vacation. The truth is , ever since Obama entered the White House in 2009 , he has been on a permanent vacation. According to an unknown source , he was even planning to write a book called My Endless vacation In The White House.

8) Liberals are so delusional , they believe evolution and global warming are real. Even though there is no evidence for either , but refuse to believe in God even though there is a mountain of evidence. 

9) Liberals believe Obama is no longer playing golf. Even though he had banned all golf courses by executive order , for his personal use.

10) Liberals believe Conservatives hated Obama because he is black. Which proves they are the racists. Conservatives don’t like Obama because he was really born in Kenya. 

And there you have it , ten reasons why liberals are still loons.

Posted in John Hawkins, satire/humor

More Reasons Not To Trust A Liberal ( Or Why I Still Hate Liberals ) , Part 2

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John Hawkins , Rightwing News.

Even though Obama is no longer in the White House , I will continue making fun of liberals. So , here is my continuing list of Why I Still Hate Liberals …

1) They don’t believe Obama is persecuting Christians. Ever since Obama became president , Christians and Conservatives have been under attack. They’ve been attacked  in the streets all over America by liberal mobs angry at the fact that Conservatives and Christians are wishing them Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays. Liberals are such wimps.

2) They believe Ted Nugent is a draft dodging pants pooper. Ted is a real American patriot , because he hunts  , and hates liberals , not because he dodged the draft by pooping his drawers.

3) They’re slobs. When liberals eat , they can’t help but act like the slobs they are. It’s in their nature. It’s in their genes. Liberals are born to be slobs. They have no qualms about belching and farting around others , and at the dinner table. Liberals are such pigs.

4) If Jesus were black or Muslim , they would gladly believe in him. When Megan Kelly claimed Jesus was white , liberals had a fit , proving how racist they are. They can’t stand the fact that Jesus is white and will always be white.

5) They don’t believe in Santa Claus. Again , liberals would believe in Kris Kringle if he were black , but he’s also white , and American , whether they believe it or not. It’s just a fact.

6) They have warts. Liberals are ugly , which is why only they have warts.

7) They love to eat children. It’s a fact that liberals will eat anything , even kids. In fact , liberals will gladly eat their own kids if they had nothing else to eat.

8) They’re sex maniacs. When liberals aren’t eating kids , babies , puppies , and everything else , they’re sex maniacs. They’re either masturbating relentlessly or humping each other like wild animals. liberals are so nasty.

9) They’re serial killers. Everyone knows liberals are serial killers. Want proof? See #7.

10) They believe Wheaties really are the breakfast of champions. You read that right. Liberals really are that stupid.

And there you have it , more reasons why I still hate liberals and wouldn’t touch one even if they converted to Christianity , which is not very likely , since liberals hate Christians.