Posted in Stupid Conservative memes, Toilet Paper USA

Stupid Conservative Memes #85 Toilet Paper USA Edition_”The Left Hates America Because They Want Everyone To Have Free Stuff!”

Did you know that diaper wearing conservatives, like the fine folks at Toilet Paper USA, have a monopoly on patriotism?

That’s right, and here are the top reasons why conservatives are so super patriotic, and progressives are so clueless.

Let’s take a look at those reasons.

1 ) The Unholy War On Christmas – Diaper wearing conservatives love America because they’re Christians, love God, believe in Santa, and the Easter Bunny. 

Progressive are Godless, and don’t believe in Santa or the Easter Bunny. In fact, Christmas was banned. According to conservatives, when the scary black socialist weaseled his way into the White House, he signed an executive order forbidding stores to display Christmas decorations and play Christmas music. Conservatives were forbidden to say Merry Christmas, but the politically correct term, Happy Holidays. But now that Trump is president, conservatives can once again say Merry Christmas! 

2 ) Guns – You can’t love America if you don’t love guns. Am I right? Diaper wearing conservatives believe every citizen constitutes a militia and has a divine, God given right to an arsenal of military type weapons that must never be regulated. They claim that guns are not the problem. Gun free zones, single fathers, single mothers, video games, black on black crime, gun control, lack of God in one’s life and lack of prayer in schools, and anything else, as long as it has nothing to do with guns. These are the real causes of Mass shootings.
They believe that young progressives marching in the streets for gun reform are not patriotic, but brain dead dupes of George Soros, the world’s most sinister and evil puppet master, who has worked his entire life from childhood to old age to undermine democracy all over the world.

Progressives believe no citizen has a right to an arsenal of unregulated weaponry, nor do they believe that gun crimes have anything to do video games, lack of prayer in schools, etc., or that young progressives are pawns of Soros, or that the NRA are patriotic.

3 ) Immigration – diaper wearing conservatives believe that Mexicans, and Hispanics are criminals and rapists. President Trump said so. They believe Democrats allow them to waltz across the border unchecked so they can steal jobs, eat babies, and replace white people, who will vote for the Democrats for generations to come.

Progressives don’t believe all undocumented immigrants are criminals, rapists, or drug smugglers. They believe they should be treated with dignity, and don’t support a ridiculous wall to keep them all out. 

4 ) Free Speech – Diaper wearing conservatives consider themselves true defenders of free speech. They believe everyone should be allowed to speak at colleges without liberal snowflakes melting. The flag is a sacred object that must never be criticized, just as Israel and President Trump must never be criticized.

Progressives believe universities should be places of free thought and ideas, not exclusively for conservatives who target liberal instructors for harassment by placing them on watch lists. They believe that so called flag hating little pansies like Colin Kaepernick have a right to silently protest police abuse of authority by kneeling during the national anthem , and criticizing Israel and President Trump is not anti-Semitic and/or unpatriotic.

5 ) Climate Change – Diaper loving conservatives believe there is no such thing as man made climate change. It’s nothing more than a hoax perpetrated by leftists like George Soros, who are pulling the strings of climate change activists – like Greta Thunberg – who are too mentally ill to know they are being duped.

Progressives know it’s not a hoax perpetrated by leftists like George Soros. They know that it’s very real, and the science is backed by scientists who study the climate who say it’s largely man made. The real conspiracy are those who are backed by the fossil fuel companies who say it’s a hoax.

6 ) Terrorism – Diaper  wearing conservatives have warped ideas what terrorism is. They believe only Muslims, Antifa, and Black Lives Matter are terrorists.

Progressives know that white supremacists are terrorists. They know that white supremacists are more of a threat to our safety than undocumented immigrants, Antifa, and Black Lives Matter. According to the Anti Defamation League’s 2019 report, at least fifty people were killed by right wing extremists in the year 2018, more than left wing, or Islamic extremists. Antifa and Black Lives Matter, both of whom diaper conservatives claim are violent hate groups, have never killed anyone, unlike white identity extremists, and yet they keep pushing their “Violent Leftist Mob” bulls**t.

When Ilhan Omar told Mehdi Hasan in a 2018 interview, “I would say our country should be more fearful of white men across our nation, because they are actually causing most of the deaths. And so, if fear was the driving force of policies to make America safe, we should be profiling, monitoring, and creating policies to fight the radicalization of white men,” diaper wearing conservatives collectively clutched their Pampers and Huggies, along with their precious pearls. . She was smeared as an anti white racist who was calling for the profiling of white people who are allegedly radicalized by racist hate groups. What she was really saying was that fear is not the driving force behind policies like the Muslim ban, but pure hatred for Muslims.

7 ) Race – Diaper wearing conservatives can’t be racist. Right? Many of them actually believe the two parties are still the same they were long before the Civil Rights Act, that the KKK is a leftist organization, and the Republicans are still the party of civil rights. If both were true, why are conservatives the only ones fighting to preserve Confederate statues? Lest we forget, it was conservatives, many of them who voted for Trump and enthusiastically support his racist policies, that marched side by side with the KKK, and other racist neo Nazis groups, in defense of a statue of Robert E. Lee, in Charlottesville, Virginia, and murdered a liberal counter protester.

They deflect any accusations of racism by repeating the same talking points: Democrats are the party of the KKK; Nazis are socialists, and Hitler was a leftist. Propaganda is good for something.

Diaper wearing conservatives believe progressives and Democrats see everything through race, while they are color blind. If that were true, why the obsession with black on black crime? Why the racist talking point that black people who vote Democrat, do so only to keep them complacent on the Democratic Plantation with free stuff? Why the obsession with proving the first black man wasn’t American enough to be president? Why the ridiculous claim that he was pushing for a race war during the events in Ferguson and Baltimore? Why the ridiculous claim that Black Lives Matter has promoted the execution of law enforcement?

Progressives support groups like Black Lives Matter, because black lives don’t actually matter to the system, and believe helping people to avoid poverty has nothing to do with bribing black people with free stuff to get them to vote Democrat.

8 ) The Green New Deal – Diaper wearing conservatives believe the GND is Marxist propaganda, that it will destroy the economy, ban cars, airplanes, hamburgers, cows and their farts, and would bankrupt the economy, instead of benefitting it, and Americans.

Trump campaigned on the slogan Make America Great Again, and yet Diaper wearing conservatives have stubbornly resisted making it better in every way possible, and they have the nerve to call themselves patriots. What they really are, are crybabies soiling their diapers, screaming “Venezuela!” every time a progressive says a scary word like Medicare for all. 

Posted in Toilet Paper USA

“Charlie Kirk: Conservatives Are Under Attack From Leftist Mobs Of Crazed Liberals!” Oh My God!

In late October of 2018 , Robert Bowers , an armed Trump supporter and white nationalist , walked into the Tree Of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh , PA , and gunned down 11 people. His alledged motivation was HIAS , the Hebrew Immigration Aid Society , was sponsoring the immigrant caravan , and he wanted to do something about it to save the white mother land from the invading hordes that were also sponsored by liberals and George Soros.

Last Fall , Cesar Sayoc , a MAGA supporter targeted president Trump’s critics by mailing explosives to prominent Democratic politicians , including former president Barack Obama , Hillary Clinton , George Soros , and various Hollywood liberals.

The consensus on the far right fringes – such as The Gateway Pundit , Breitbart , Matt Walsh Blog , American Thinker  , and World Net Daily – was that the Democrats were mailing the bombs to themselves , all in an effort to make conservatives look violent and to gin up support and Democratic votes during the mid term election.

Fox Business commentator  , Lou Dobbs tweeted : “Fake news , fake bombs. Who could possibly benefit from so much fakery?”

Trump a** licker , Bill Mitchell tweeted : “These packages sent to the media and high profile Democrats , has Soros astro-turfing all over it so the media can paint the GOP as the violent mob.”

Right wing conservatives , some of whom are radicalized by far right extremist ideology , are literally killing people , but in the parallel world of Fox News and other right wing media , conservatives are the ones who are under attack because an idiot “mob” of one punched a MAGA supporter.

They love to play the victim.

Posted in Alex Jones, Ann-Marie Murrell, Morgan Brittany, satire, Victoria Jackson

To Serve Obama Again , A Sequel : Obama Still Wants To Eat Your Kids!

Alex Jones’s ‘how did I get stuck with these kooks , crackpots , wackos , and fruitcakes?’ face.

From the Alex Jones radio show June 9 , 2017 – 

“Welcome to the show ladies and gentlemen. I’m Alex Jones , your host for the number one show in Texas , America , and around the world. I bring you the truth , and nothing but the truth , the truth that the main stream communist liberal news media won’t bring you because it’s controlled by George Soros , the biggest communist liberal in the world.

“I have three kooks on today’s show. One’s been here once or twice before. She’s even more of a  kook than the other two. She’s also crackpot , a wacko , and a fruitcake. She’s written several wacked out books about Barack Obama , including Obama And His Evil Twin Julio Want To Sacrifice Your Kids With Planned Parenthood , and Obama And His Evil Twin Julio The Mole Want To Kill My Granny With Obama Care. Like I said , she’s a real kook , crackpot , a wacko , and a fruitcake.  

Aviary Photo_131415136779287261
Smart , intelligent Conservative women , Victoria , Ann-Marie , and Morgan trying to convince Alex Jones that Obama still wants to eat their kids.

“My other two guests are Ann-Marie Murrell , and Morgan Brittany. I’m not sure if they’ve been here before or not , but they’ve also written some wacked out books about Obama , because besides being known as kooks , they’re also crackpots , wackos , and fruitcakes. Those books include , The Truth About B. O. And All Kinds Of Other Stuff , and I Was Attacked By B.O. Zombies That Tried To Eat My Brain , the latter which the three of them wrote together. And in case you’re wondering , ladies and gentlemen , those are not the titles of books about zombies with Body odor. Their latest book is  , To Serve Obama Again , A Sequel : Obama Still Wants To Eat Your Kids! has got to be the kookiest one yet. But I’m sure their next book will be even more kooky.    

“Welcome to the show , ladies.”

Ann-Marie : “Thanks for inviting us , Alex.”

Morgan : “I’m pretty sure we haven’t been here before.”

Alex : “Whatever.”

Victoria : “Did you invite us here just to make fun us , Alex?”

Alex : “You said it , not me. Let’s talk about the new book. Why would -“

Victoria : “Did you read it?”

Alex : “Why would I want to do that?”

Victoria : “Oh , I don’t know , maybe to know what it’s about.”

Alex : “I don’t have to read it to know it’s a piece of  – I mean something only a kook would write – in this case , three kooks – and something only a kook – or in this case , plural , kooks , your fans – would be interested in reading. The title itself tells me it’s got to be the kookiest book ever written. Why would -“

Victoria : “Gee , thanks for the great review , Alex.”

Alex : “You’re welcome. Now why would -“

Victoria : So , you still don’t believe his mole is the anti-Christ?”

Alex : “Of course not , it’s insane.”

Morgan : “You don’t believe Obama zombies tried to eat our brains?”

Alex : “How can they eat something that isn’t there to begin with?”

Victoria : “You don’t believe he still wants to kill my granny with Obama Care?”

Alex : “Obama Care doesn’t exist anymore!”

Victoria : “You don’t believe Julio helped him steal the elections , and that I cried and I cried when it happened?”

Ann-Marie : “Yeah , and all kinds of other stuff!”

Morgan : Yeah , like Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , ACORN , the homeless , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead?”

Alex : “ACORN , the homeless , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead may have been involved , but to claim Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck were involved , only a genuinely crazy person would believe that.”

Victoria : “You don’t believe he’s still taking too many vacations?”

Alex : “What does any of this have to do with -“

Morgan : “Or that he’s still playing too much golf?”

Alex : “Why should I care about his vacations or golfing , he’s -“

Ann-Marie : “And you don’t believe he still wants to steal everyone’s guns?”

Victoria : “Or that he shredded a copy of the constitution and used the shavings as a salad topping?”

Alex : “What does any of this have to do with -“

Victoria : “You don’t believe he went to Mars to train for his tyrannical dictatorship of America , or that he’s a cross dressing lizard queen from planet Zork?”

Morgan : “And tried to infect us all with Ebola?”

Alex : “Alright , hold on. Just hold on! What does any of this have to do with the book?”

Victoria : “It has everything to do with it , Alex. If you don’t believe any of these facts , then you don’t believe he still wants to eat your kids.”

Ann-Marie : “And all kinds of other stuff!”