Posted in Barack Obama

Crazy Obama Conspiracies and Controversies

 

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For eight years Republicans have created and promoted a ridiculous mythology of fake scandals and controversies surrounding Barack Obama. The majority of these controversies involve the most absurd nonsense that any sane person would consider laughable , but Republicans manage to muster up enough outrage to flip out over.

  • He’s a foreigner , born in Kenya , not qualified to be president. It made no difference that his mother Ann Dunham was an American citizen , as is required by the Constitution. Nor did his birth certificate ; it was still fake.
  • He’s a Muslim who attended a radical Madrasa , a school for Islamic terrorists where he learned to hate America.
  • He’s a socialistcommunistMarxist who ran around in his child hood planting explosives and killing people with Bill Ayers ; was radicalized by other avowed communists  Frank Marshall Davis ( who according to some was his real father ) , Saul Alinsky , and ACORN.
  • He stole the elections with the help of Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless , illegal immigrants , the walking dead , ACORN , and Saul Alinsky.
  • Has a friendly to Muslim jihadists mentality. The most radical Conservatives believe that Muslim no go zones and sharia law actually exist in the United States. They also believe he  favors Muslim terrorists even as he’s dropping bombs on them.
  • As Commander-In-Chief he hates his own military , and is cutting it to the bone , despite the fact that more money is put into military spending than all programs combined. Obama has somehow still managed to weaken it.
  • Hates Christians , and is persecuting them by censoring all public religious practice , and thought.
  • Hates Christmas , and has waged an all out war against it by denying Christians the right to say Merry Christmas.
  • He’s gay. Has had several gay lovers before running for president.
  • He’s racist. His criticism of the white cop who arrested Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates attempting to break into his own home , which prompted Glenn Beck to declare that Obama is a white culture hating racist , and which the Conservative media latched onto as proof that he was prejudiced against white people. See also his comments on the Trayvom Martin controversy as more apparent idiotic proof of his racism. His attendance in Reverend Jeremiah Wright’s Trinity Church Of Christ , also supposedly proved that he’s a radical racist Muslim who supports the Black Panthers and hates America.
  • Hates the second amendment and wants to disarm America so radical Islam can take over and make the U.S. an Islamic caliphate.
  • He’s apologized for Americas greatness , which is why during his campaign speeches he praised Americas greatness , superiority and exceptionalism , because he hates America. Ted Cruz and other idiots Republicans have claimed that Obama has spent his entire eight years as president apologizing  for Americas transgressions , even though PolitiFact has rated those claims as false.
  • He’s like a Nazi dictator because Obama Care , same-sex marriage , abortion and executive action are apparently no different than what Hitler did.
  • Is weak on foreign policy , because he prematurely pulled the troops out of Iraq , despite the fact that there was a Status Of Forces agreement signed by George Bush , that all American forces must vacate by the end of 2011 ; he also refuses to say the magic words “Radical Islamic terrorism.”
  • Benghazi. He gave a stand down order that allowed four Americans to die , which is further evidence that he’s a Muslim terrorist sympathizer. A number of Congressional reports have contradicted the conspiracies.
  • Fast And Furious. He deliberately gave guns to Mexican drug cartels ,  as a means to disarm every law-abiding gun owner to implement gun confiscation and martial law , which is also further proof that he hates America. A DOJ report contradicted the conspiracies.
  • Teleported to Mars in his youth as a participant in some vague experiment known as project Pegasus. See Barack Obama Goes To Mars.
  • Is in league with The Muslim Brotherhood and has allowed them to infiltrate the White House and every facet of society in America , because he’s a Muslim.
  • Bringing tens of millions of Muslims across the borders , who are really radical Islamist terrorists.
  • Is a lizard king , or queen , from the fourth dimension , or whatever. See David Icke’s Children Of The Matrix  , and Gork From Zork : The Truth About Barack Obama  , Cross Dressing Lizard Queen From Planet Zork.
  • Can brainwash the masses , by reading people’s minds , but is so inept that he needs a teleprompter.
  • His real father was either Frank Marshall Davis , or Malcom X. claimed Pamela Geller of Judicial Watch. Just one more piece of evidence that he’s a radical America hating communist.
  • Latte Salute Gate. Conservative media was outraged over a photo of Obama saluting marines with a coffee cup in his hand. More evidence of his disrespect for men and women in uniform and his obvious hatred of them , and the military. Bill Maher on an episode of Politically Incorrect , suggested that those offended should marry their teddy bears.
  • Feet Gate. More conservative media outrage because he had the audacity to put his foot on that most sacred relic , the Oval office desk. According to Andrea King of World Nut Daily , he was sending Islamic jihadists a secret message , because , apparently as everyone knows , jihadists consider the soles of the feet as the ultimate sign of disrespect. Hence , Obama was showing his Muslim homies how much he hates America. Glen Beck was so outraged that he suggested the president resign in disgrace. The folks at Twitchy , the racist social media site run by racist Michelle Malkin also got into the bitch fest , as did their equally racist followers on twitter.
  • Burger/Mustard Gate. Fox pundits and viewers were offended that president Obama dare put Dijon mustard on a hamburger instead of regular mustard , like a real American obviously would.  Laura Ingraham hinted that Obama wasn’t a real man because he chose not to add ketchup to his burger. Mark Steyn claimed he was trying to enlighten everyone with his order because he’s an elitist pretending to be a regular Joe. He was deeply offended that the president was crashing in as the Grey Poupon spokes person because it’s always been foreigners who had that role for years.
  • Had Breitbart murdered. Breitbart died of natural causes , but for wing nuts that wasn’t good enough of an explanation for his untimely death. Apparently Obama had him murdered because he had some damning evidence that turned out not to be so damning after all.
  • Scalia Gate. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia passed away February 15 from natural causes at a Texas ranch while on a hunting trip. Apparently a pillow was discovered to be partially covering his head. This of course , was enough evidence to convince  wing nuts to speculate that Obama had him killed. Christian lunatic , Rick Wiles claimed Obama had him killed as a sacrifice to Satan. Ted Nugent tweeted that conspiracy site Investment Watch blog knew the true motive behind his death. Alex Jones was convinced he was killed to further Obama’s anti-gun , pro socialist agenda. Lunatic radio host , Michael Savage suggested that there be a Warren Commission-style investigation into Scalia’s death.
  • Vacation Gate. For years Conservatives have been obsessed and even outraged that Obama would have the audacity to be on vacation when the world is falling apart. They’ve even been outraged that he would even take a vacation. They had no problem when George Bush took one , like that time when New Orleans’ residents drowned during hurricane Katrina. See also , Obama Is A Psychopath Because He Takes Vacations And Plays Golf.
  • Golf Gate. Playing golf is another pet peeve that Obama haters have against the current president. It’s not like the former president ever played a round of golf. The consensus is that he would rather be playing a few rounds than doing his job , meaning he’s just lazy and doesn’t know how to do his job , and hasn’t got a clue as to what’s going on in the world. According to Katie Pavlich , and Gina Loudon , Obama will gladly kill anyone to play golf with liberal elites like Jack Nicklaus and Stephen King , and that he had Scalia killed in hopes of putting  a liberal judge on the Supreme Court. See Golf Gate : Barack Obama’s Third Bloodiest Scandal.

According to many Conservatives who hate Obama , most of these actions prove that he hates America. But all they really prove is overt  racism toward  a black man with a Muslim name who had the audacity to run for president of the United States , and win … twice.

Posted in John Hawkins, satire

How To Spot A Communist Liberal – Part 10

Aviary Photo_1310669354475787481 )  They don’t believe that Obama and liberals are destroying America.

2 )  They don’t believe Obama recently shredded the constitution in a salad , and fed it to his family , and his friends the communist Democrats.

3 )  They don’t believe Obama is the worst president ever.

4 )  They don’t believe that Donald Trump is making America great again.

5 )  They believe Ben Carson is an idiot savant.

6 )  They don’t believe Planned Parenthood are baby killers.

7 )  They believe in gun free zones.

8 )  They believe that God is really a Flying Spaghetti Monster.

9 )  They don’t believe that all liberals , and progressives are communists and fascists.

10 ) They don’t believe all liberals , progressives ,  communists , and Barack Obama are  ‘Godless’ and are constantly attacking our religious freedom , our freedom of speech , and our right to discriminate against gays , Muslims , and atheists.

If your friends adhere to any of the above , then they are definitely communist liberals in need of immediate mental help.

Posted in John Hawkins, satire

Obama Wants To Eat Your Kids

Aviary Photo_131066935447578748  Michelle Obama released her cook book ‘American Grown‘ in the summer of 2012. Since it’s release , she has campaigned tirelessly to get Americans , and especially children to exercise with her Let’s Move America campaign , and to eat healthier with her school lunch program. But true patriotic Americans are not buying it. And neither are students and their parents. They are fed up with the First Lady , and are letting her know it.

While most people probably couldn’t care less , some Americans – notably , Conservatives – see this attempt by the First Lady as something much more sinister. As most well-informed Conservative Republicans know , the Obama’s are pure evil and are bent on destroying America and everything it stands for. So it is no surprise that the First Lady would implement such a program. To them , it is just another attempt by the Obama’s to further limit our freedoms  , and ultimately destroy America.

I talked recently with Sarah Palin , who voiced her concerns about this program.

“Michelle Obama thinks she has everyone fooled with her Healthy , Hunger Free Kids Act ,” she said. “But if you watch Fox News , Glen Beck ,  and other conservative media that are not afraid to report the truth , then you know for a fact that she’s not fooling everybody. The only ones who are being fooled are the communist liberals who believe the lies of the communist liberal media. We know the truth about this deceitful program , and we have the facts. Most Americans believe it is nothing more than a harmless program to provide healthier school lunches. But the truth is that this program is designed to allow communist liberal  , Marxist , Nazi , gay Muslims to further infiltrate and control our public and private schools by telling our children what they can and cannot eat.

“First they’re removing God from public and private schools , and replacing Christianity with their Godless Muslim religion , and now this. This is exactly how communist liberal , Nazis , Marxist , gay Muslims behave. And the Obama’s have been behaving this way ever since Barack’s first election. And Americans are getting fed up with it. But thank God these communist liberal , Marxist , Nazi , gay Muslim tyrant dictators won’t be in power much longer. I just hope they don’t take our guns away and throw us all in Fema camps before that happens.”

Victoria Jackson , conservative blogger , and writer , has expressed her own concerns about this seemingly innocent program. And while her concerns may seem reasonable to some , they are certainly bizarre.

“There is nothing innocent about it ,” she said. “I believe it’s more than just an attempt to get our kids to eat  healthier. When I first heard about this program , I suspected there was something more to it. I began to question the purpose behind the program. Could it really be a harmless attempt to get Kids interested in exercising and eating right? Or is it something to be suspicious about? They are communists , after all , and communists are evil and everything they do is evil. And that’s when it hit me. It wasn’t something harmless. It was something so unbelievable , and so sinister that most of us would never believe it. I believe it is a subtle attempt to gain total control of our schools and our kids for a much more sinister purpose. And I believe that purpose is to get as many students as possible ,  so sick and tired of all the healthy crap they will be force-fed with this program , that they will gorge themselves on as much junk food as they can. And when enough of them are plump and fat enough , they will be in invited to a special surprise dinner at the White House , and then they will find out what Michelle Obama’s school lunch program is really all about. But by then , it will be too late for them. There will be no hope.

“Remember that Twilight Zone episode , To Serve Man , where the aliens who all looked like Lurch from the Addams Family, came to earth to eat everybody? Well , I wrote a book called ,  To Serve Obama : How Barack Obama The Kenyan , Voodoo , Muslim CannibalPlans To Eat Our Kids , With Michelle Obama’s School Lunch Program. It’s a wake up call to warn Americans of Michelle’s book , American Grown , which is really nothing more than a  cook book.

” Please read it , and take action. We must impeach the communist liberal , Nazi , Marxist , gay , cannibal Muslim before he eats all of our kids!”

Posted in John Hawkins, satire

Proof That Conservatives Are More Intelligent Than Liberals

 Liberals love to brag about how smart they are compared to conservatives. But there have been numerous studies to prove them wrong. Conservatives are more informed , and better educated than liberals. Below are the most common misconceptions that liberals are more intelligent.

 Liberals believe they are experts at everything. Religion , politics , science , education , and life in general.

 Religion …

  Liberals claim that religion is man-made , therefore a myth , a fairy tale.

Fact : This is only partially true. Most of the world religions are indeed man-made. Christianity is the only one true religion , since it was divinely inspired by God. The other existing religions are frauds , fakes , copy cats , inspired by the devil.

 Because liberals tend to be Godless , they mistakenly believe that they have morals. However , numerous studies have disproved this. In one such study , an atheist liberal , and a God-fearing Christian were given pornography to look at. The Godless atheist liberal could not restrain himself , and was tempted to masturbate  again and again , while the God-fearing Christian was able to restrain himself with a simple prayer.

Fact : Conservatives , who are Christians , have morals , which are given to them by  God. In other words , conservatives are moral as a result of their religious beliefs. Liberals tend to be Godless , lacking any religious beliefs , instead embracing a belief in atheism , or any number of Godless religions , such as Islam , deism , or Hinduism. By nature , they are Godless , and are completely lacking in morals , as I alluded to in the above study.

 Conservatives , as a result of their Christian beliefs , lead happier , more fulfilling lives , are more open-minded , are more accepting of new ideas and points of view , and are better problem solvers. Godless communist liberals , because they are completely lacking in morals , are unhappy , mean , close minded , bigoted , racist , people , un accepting of other points of view , and are not very good at solving problems.

Conservatives believe that all life is sacred. Godless communist liberals have no qualms about murdering innocent unborn children , but often try to justify this behavior by accusing Christians of being hypocrites when it comes to children who are gunned down in public schools by the mentally ill. They accuse Christians of opposing stricter gun laws , so by their reasoning  , they must not really care. But the truth is , the only laws Christians and conservatives oppose , are the dictatorial laws mandated by the evil tyrant Obama , who wants to take their guns away , throw everyone – but Godless communist liberals – into Fema camps , turning America into a Godless communist dictatorship , and will do so by any means necessary.

Science …

 Godless communist liberals believe in science. But any God-fearing Christian conservative knows that all aspects of science are just non sense. Liberals  believe in evolution. , the theory that life forms evolve into other life forms. They believe that life began by random chance , that two cells had intercourse , and poof! a new life form came into being. However , there has never been any credible evidence to support this theory. According to the book of Genesis , God created all life as it is , less than seven thousand years ago. Liberals also believe in the theory of global warming , that the earth is slowly getting hotter due to the effects of man-made green house gases in the atmosphere.

Fact : There is no credible evidence for any of these theories. Just ask any scientist , and they will tell you that. They are nothing more than a Godless communist plot to brainwash Americans into accepting a Godless communist dictatorship.

Education

Godless communist liberals believe in free education for all. They believe that public schools should teach only the basics , history , science , math. They believe that religion should have no role in public schools , and even though they have succeeded in removing God from public and private schools , they claim that children still have the right to pray.

Fact : Because God has been removed from public schools , no child has ever been allowed to pray , or even mention His name for fear of persecution. Ever since the evil tyrant Obama took office for the first time , Christians have been persecuted like never before. Teachers have been doused in tar and feathers , and in more extreme cases have been fired for merely mentioning the name of God in classrooms all over America. Students who dare stand up for their faith , are ridiculed , laughed at , called delusional , covered in silly string , also tarred and feathered  , and sometimes even expelled.

Liberals whine about Christians mentioning God or prayer in public schools. They are always crying about separation of church and state , which they claim is in the constitution , but say nothing when Muslims are allowed to teach their Godless religion.  Muslims have been infiltrating our public and private schools since Obama set foot in the White House , and he has always encouraged them – he is a Muslim , after all – to hold prayer vigils , readings from the Koran , and all manner of Godless Muslim activities.

 Communists have also infiltrated our public and private schools. They’ve been doing it since the nineteen fifties. Science is just one way they been doing it. Teaching foreign languages is another. Liberalism is the greatest communist threat to the public and private school system. It’s the foundation of communism. The communist liberal professors out number the conservatives by more than half , proving the existence of a communist liberal conspiracy to brainwash not only the youth of America , but everyone else as well , and to spread the communist menace.

 Politics

 When it comes to politics , liberals take the cake. This is the area in which they deem themselves not just experts , but the ultimate in authority. According to a liberal , they are always right. Anyone who disagrees with them is either a Nazi or a racist bigot. They support free speech , but only when it comes to expressing their own views and opinions. Arguing with them is useless. They always ignore facts , and when conservatives rely on facts to back their own views and opinions , liberals often resort to name calling like the immature progressives they really are. They can’t stand it when a well-informed conservative criticizes Obama , Hillary Clinton , or the communist liberal media. They are so blinded in their devotion to their ideology , they are incapable of seeing the truth when it’s right under their noses.

When a conservative tells the truth about Obama or Clinton , it’s a lost cause. Liberals don’t want to hear the truth about either one of them. They would rather believe the lies of the communist liberal media. It doesn’t matter that Hillary Clinton is lying about her emails – or the fact that she has ordered the murders of dozens of people who have dared to tell the truth about her – or that Obama is a tyrant that is destroying America with his executive orders , his financial and moral support – which includes flowers , love letters , and all sorts of goodies – of Al Qaeda , the Muslim Brotherhood , or the fact that he is taking the guns away from patriotic gun loving Americans , and will ultimately throw them all in Fema camps. This means nothing to liberals. They would rather pretend that everything is alright in their political bubble , while the economy , free speech , and personal freedoms are destroyed by Barack Obama and his evil , communist , Nazi , Muslim , liberal progressive administration.

Posted in John Hawkins, satire

One Hundred Ways To Spot A Communist Liberal – Part 8

Aviary Photo_1310842801347203611) They don’t believe Santa Claus is white.

2) They don’t believe the world is flat.

3) They believe the moon controls the oceans tides.

4) They refer to Duck Dynasty as Dick Dynasty.

5) They don’t believe the Pope is the Anti – Christ.

6) They believe Glen Beck is a cry baby.

7) They don’t believe Obama went to Mars in his youth.

8) They believe that man created God.

9) They believe in alien life.

10) They believe Caitlyn Jenner is now a liberal.

If any of your friends believe any of the above , they are Godless communist liberals , and in urgent need of mental therapy.

Posted in John Hawkins, satire

One Hundred Ways To Spot A Communist Liberal – Part 7

Aviary Photo_1310842801347203611) They believe George Bush lied about weapons of Mass destruction in Iraq.

2) They don’t believe guns make Americans safer.

3) They believe Ted Nugent is a draft dodging pants shitter.

4) They don’t believe Barack Obama is plotting to invade Texas through Jade Helm.

5) They don’t believe the End Times are upon us because of Barack Obama.

6) They don’t believe the Obama dogs , Sunny and Bo , are gay.

7) They don’t believe all the Dancing With The Stars dancers are gay.

8) They don’t believe Barack Obama is really a shape shifting alien lizard.

9) They don’t believe everything wrong in the world is Barack Obama’s fault.

10) They believe conservatives are obsessed with Barack Obama.

If you know anyone who adheres to any of the above , they are Godless communists liberals , and are in need of mental therapy.

Posted in John Hawkins, satire

One Hundred Ways To Spot A Communist Liberal – Part 6

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1) They don’t believe black people are thugs.

2) They don’t believe in reverse racism.

3) They don’t believe Obama is a white culture hating racist.

4) They don’t believe Obama is destroying America from within.

5) They don’t believe Obama is a communist.

6) They don’t believe Obama is running drugs and guns to Muslim terrorists , and Mexican drug cartels.

7) They don’t believe in war.

8) They don’t believe the Muslim Brotherhood are in the White House.

9) They don’t believe communists are trying to take over the world.

10) They don’t believe George Bush kept America safe.

If any of your friends subscribe to any of the above , then they are definitely Godless communist liberals , and should seek immediate mental therapy.

Posted in Allen West, Barack Obama, satire

Proof That Obama Is Worse Than Hitler

Aviary Photo_131152420023978685Dr. Ben Carson once claimed that Obama care was comparable to slavery. With it’s proven death panels , the taxes patriotic Americans have been forced to pay on it , and the coverage they have lost due to the new law , has been a travesty. He was definitely correct in making the comparison.

  From the very beginning , the Obama administration has held America hostage with its dictatorial laws and executive orders. The constitution means nothing to them. It has been spit upon , defecated on , and ripped to shreds on a daily basis by Obama and his evil communist administration.  From Planned Parenthood , to his open and shameful support of the militant gay rights movement , to his support of a nuclear arms program for Iran , this president has shown time and time again just how much he hates America , and despises true patriotic Americans even more.

  “I believe that the Obama administration wants to control us all ,” Ben Carson told me in a recent interview. “I believe that it is his intent to take over the United States and make this great nation a soviet style dictatorship , and set himself up as Czar Obama. With Obama care , and same – sex marriage , we’re just beginning to see the tip of the iceberg of this dictatorship. And it will only get worse.”

   My source in the White House echoed similar sentiments. “With Obama care , same – sex marriage , and now this situation with the Planned Parenthood videos , the president is behaving just like Hitler behaved in Germany during World War two ,” she said. “It won’t be long until patriotic gun loving , tea party Americans , are rounded up and thrown into concentration camps like the Jews were.  It will definitely happen! Mark my words! We’re not crack pots and idiots , who believe this , like the communist liberals progressives think we are. It will happen. And I believe it will happen during this so – called Jade Helm 15 exercise , which is not an exercise at all , but a full-scale invasion. Chuck Norris  warned us this would happen. Obama has a little more than a year left in office. I believe he’s waiting for the last possible moment , so he can try to fool us into believing it won’t happen , so he can say , ‘I got these fools right where I want them.’ And then the crap hits the fan , and we’re all doomed.

  “He’s preparing for it even now as we speak ,” she continued. “Not too long ago , I witnessed a particularly disturbing incident in the Oval office , which proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that he is preparing for world conquest. Conservatives know that he’s a big fan of Hitler.  Any well-informed American can see that he’s been doing so many things that Hitler did. He recites Muslim prayers in the White House on a daily basis – he is a Muslim after all –  he supports Muslim terrorists by sending them not only money , but flowers , love letters , and all kinds of goodies , via drones , and with FTD. He shreds copies of the constitution in the Oval office and laughs while he does it , like the true tyrant he is. And he shamelessly supports the evil LGBT community , which are always persecuting Christians. But thank God he won’t get away with it much longer. His reign of terror is almost over.

  “The other day , I saw him wearing a Nazi uniform that he bought at an auction. He also has a portrait of Hitler in the Oval office. He likes to wear it and salute the portrait when he thinks no one is looking. But he’s not fooling everybody. There are some of us who have seen him doing these disgusting things with our own eyes , and we’re not letting him get away with it.”

  And that is the purpose of this blog. To spread the truth about Obama.

Posted in satire

One Hundred Ways To Spot A Communist Liberal … Part 4

 

1) They believe in pay equality.

2) They believe that men and women are created equal.

3) They don’t believe the confederate flag represents southern pride.

4) They don’t believe that blacks owned their own white slaves.

5) They don’t believe Obama was born in Kenya.

6) They don’t believe there is a communist liberal war on Christianity.

7) They don’t believe there is a communist liberal war on Christmas.

8) They don’t believe that Bert and Ernie are gay.

9) They don’t believe that Obama is worse than Hitler.

10) They don’t believe that Obama is taking our guns away.

If your friends believe any or all of the above , then they most certainly are Godless communist liberals , and should seek mental help.

Posted in John Hawkins, satire

One Hundred Ways To Spot A Communist Liberal – Part 3

 

Ten more ways to spot a communist liberal.

 

1) They don’t hate teachers and workers unions.

2) They don’t believe Fox News is fair and balanced.

3) They don’t believe the earth is less than eight thousand years old.

4) They believe that corporations are bigger welfare queens than illegal immigrants.

5) They support same-sex marriage.

6) They don’t believe that Barack Obama is gay.

7) They don’t hate illegal immigrants.

8) They don’t believe that Barack Obama is a Muslim.

9) They believe that Jesus Christ was a communist liberal.

10) They believe that Conservatives and Republicans are racists.

If your friends exhibit any of the above behavior , it is a sure sign that they are Godless communist liberals and should seek immediate mental help.