Posted in Stupid Conservative memes, Uncategorized

Stupid Conservative Memes #64

   


George Bush was given a CIA intelligence briefing that Bin Ladin would most likely soon attack the U.S.. He ignored it , and as a result , 9/11 happened. It’s amazing to me that Bush apologists like Rudy Giuliani are willing to ignore his incompetence , absolve him of any responsibility , and shamelessly claim that he kept America safe. Never mind 9/11 , the Iraq and Afghanistan wars , the numerous domestic terrorist attacks , and the multiple embassy/consulate attacks that occurred during his watch ; none of them count in their twisted logic. But Benghazi is worse than any of them because … something.          

Democrats didn’t politicize 9/11. Democrats and Republicans united , because America was attacked. Too bad Republicans and Conservatives couldn’t do the same after Benghazi. All they cared about was using it as a means of discrediting a president they hated , so they created a conspiracy around it , including the bullshit claim that he allowed it to happen.          

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Posted in Liberal Logic 101, Stupid Conservative memes

Stupid Conservative Memes #63 Liberal Logic 101 Edition

“For those with no brains , who haven’t a clue how logic works.”

Like the main stream Conservative media did with Obama’s birth certificate , Benghazi , the so-called IRS scandal , Solyndra , Fast And Furious , Health Care reform ( Obama Care ) and a host of other non scandals? The entire real lame stream news media , including Fox News , Breitfart , The Gateway Pundit ( AKA the Stupidest man on the internet ), News Max , News Busters , The Blaze , Rush Limbaugh , Accuracy In Media  , World Nut Daily , Media Research Center , and Conservatives News Service whined incessantly over everything Obama said and did. Not just about the birth certificate , Benghazi , and Fast And Furious  , but absurd nonsense about gun confiscation , executive orders , saluting a marine with a latte in his hand , wearing a tan suit , how many vacations he and his family took , how much he golfed , to what he put on his hamburger.

Can we expect a similar type of treatment toward Trump from the so-called liberal media? Not likely. In fact , we’ve already seen them fawn over him when he bombed Syria.  

Posted in Alternative facts, Kelly Ann Conway, satire/humor

Fox Planning To Debut New Show , Alternative Facts With Kellyanne Conway

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Kellyanne Conway to host new show on Fox , Alternative Facts.

 Washington –  A new show will soon debut on Fox. It’s called Alternative Facts With Kellyanne Conway. The fair and balanced Fox News loves the new president , Donald Trump , and they love Kellyanne Conway just as much. The new show will air Friday mornings across the Fox Network , just after Fox And Friends , starting early next month.

According to producers of the new show , topics for discussion will include the size of president Trump’s inaugural attendance – which sources have claimed numbered in the hundreds of thousands – how former president Obama tapped Trump Tower phones , some sources even claiming that the Obama dogs were the real culprits , the supposed Bowling Green Massacre , and president Trump’s Muslim ban that really wasn’t a ban.

Alex Jones , King of kooks , crackpots  , wackos , and fruitcakes.

 Fans have praised  the new show as innovative , and ground breaking. “It’s a refreshing change to the liberal media bias ,” said conspiracy theorist , Alex Jones. “It’s about time someone as intelligent as Kellyanne Conway is willing to tell the truth that the liberal media under Obama wasn’t  willing to touch with a fine tooth comb , because they were his lap dogs , just like Sonny and Bo are his lap dogs. Like the tapping of the Trump Tower phones during the election. It was the Obama dogs that were the real criminals. And the Bowling Green Massacre , which really did happen , involving ACORN , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead , just as they were involved in stealing the last two elections for Obama. I can’t wait to be on her show and tell her all about it!”

Conservative wind bag , Mark Levin.

“Now that we have Donald Trump  , a real president in the White House!” Conservative screecher Mark Levin said earlier this week. “The alternative facts – the real facts – will come out! Obama and his whole family will finally be jailed for treason! We couldn’t get him on his birth certificate , we couldn’t get him on executive orders , and we couldn’t get him on Benghazi! But I am confident that we will get him on espionage! America will be outraged and shocked to learn that Obama trained his dogs Sonny and Bo Obama – who are most likely communists themselves , that’s right , I said it! Prove me wrong! – to tap president Trump’s phones! I can’t wait to be on the show!”

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The Motor City Madman reacting to the news of Kellyanne Conway getting her own show on Fox.

  No one was more excited than Ted Nugent. “When I found out Trump was the next president of the United States , I  actually crapped my pants , I was so excited ,” Ted Nugent told Gun Shots And Cum Shots magazine. His critics have charged that he did the same to avoid the Vietnam war , which Nugent claimed was nothing but liberal lies to make him look weak and spineless , something which can ‘be expected from liberals ,” he said. “When I found out Kellyanne Conway was getting her own show at Fox , my favorite channel , I crapped my pants again. I also shot my load and all eight hundred of my guns at the same time. I can’t wait to be on the show and do it again!”

Posted in Barack Obama

Crazy Obama Conspiracies and Controversies

 

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For eight years Republicans have created and promoted a ridiculous mythology of fake scandals and controversies surrounding Barack Obama. The majority of these controversies involve the most absurd nonsense that any sane person would consider laughable , but Republicans manage to muster up enough outrage to flip out over.

  • He’s a foreigner , born in Kenya , not qualified to be president. It made no difference that his mother Ann Dunham was an American citizen , as is required by the Constitution. Nor did his birth certificate ; it was still fake.
  • He’s a Muslim who attended a radical Madrasa , a school for Islamic terrorists where he learned to hate America.
  • He’s a socialistcommunistMarxist who ran around in his child hood planting explosives and killing people with Bill Ayers ; was radicalized by other avowed communists  Frank Marshall Davis ( who according to some was his real father ) , Saul Alinsky , and ACORN.
  • He stole the elections with the help of Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless , illegal immigrants , the walking dead , ACORN , and Saul Alinsky.
  • Has a friendly to Muslim jihadists mentality. The most radical Conservatives believe that Muslim no go zones and sharia law actually exist in the United States. They also believe he  favors Muslim terrorists even as he’s dropping bombs on them.
  • As Commander-In-Chief he hates his own military , and is cutting it to the bone , despite the fact that more money is put into military spending than all programs combined. Obama has somehow still managed to weaken it.
  • Hates Christians , and is persecuting them by censoring all public religious practice , and thought.
  • Hates Christmas , and has waged an all out war against it by denying Christians the right to say Merry Christmas.
  • He’s gay. Has had several gay lovers before running for president.
  • He’s racist. His criticism of the white cop who arrested Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates attempting to break into his own home , which prompted Glenn Beck to declare that Obama is a white culture hating racist , and which the Conservative media latched onto as proof that he was prejudiced against white people. See also his comments on the Trayvom Martin controversy as more apparent idiotic proof of his racism. His attendance in Reverend Jeremiah Wright’s Trinity Church Of Christ , also supposedly proved that he’s a radical racist Muslim who supports the Black Panthers and hates America.
  • Hates the second amendment and wants to disarm America so radical Islam can take over and make the U.S. an Islamic caliphate.
  • He’s apologized for Americas greatness , which is why during his campaign speeches he praised Americas greatness , superiority and exceptionalism , because he hates America. Ted Cruz and other idiots Republicans have claimed that Obama has spent his entire eight years as president apologizing  for Americas transgressions , even though PolitiFact has rated those claims as false.
  • He’s like a Nazi dictator because Obama Care , same-sex marriage , abortion and executive action are apparently no different than what Hitler did.
  • Is weak on foreign policy , because he prematurely pulled the troops out of Iraq , despite the fact that there was a Status Of Forces agreement signed by George Bush , that all American forces must vacate by the end of 2011 ; he also refuses to say the magic words “Radical Islamic terrorism.”
  • Benghazi. He gave a stand down order that allowed four Americans to die , which is further evidence that he’s a Muslim terrorist sympathizer. A number of Congressional reports have contradicted the conspiracies.
  • Fast And Furious. He deliberately gave guns to Mexican drug cartels ,  as a means to disarm every law-abiding gun owner to implement gun confiscation and martial law , which is also further proof that he hates America. A DOJ report contradicted the conspiracies.
  • Teleported to Mars in his youth as a participant in some vague experiment known as project Pegasus. See Barack Obama Goes To Mars.
  • Is in league with The Muslim Brotherhood and has allowed them to infiltrate the White House and every facet of society in America , because he’s a Muslim.
  • Bringing tens of millions of Muslims across the borders , who are really radical Islamist terrorists.
  • Is a lizard king , or queen , from the fourth dimension , or whatever. See David Icke’s Children Of The Matrix  , and Gork From Zork : The Truth About Barack Obama  , Cross Dressing Lizard Queen From Planet Zork.
  • Can brainwash the masses , by reading people’s minds , but is so inept that he needs a teleprompter.
  • His real father was either Frank Marshall Davis , or Malcom X. claimed Pamela Geller of Judicial Watch. Just one more piece of evidence that he’s a radical America hating communist.
  • Latte Salute Gate. Conservative media was outraged over a photo of Obama saluting marines with a coffee cup in his hand. More evidence of his disrespect for men and women in uniform and his obvious hatred of them , and the military. Bill Maher on an episode of Politically Incorrect , suggested that those offended should marry their teddy bears.
  • Feet Gate. More conservative media outrage because he had the audacity to put his foot on that most sacred relic , the Oval office desk. According to Andrea King of World Nut Daily , he was sending Islamic jihadists a secret message , because , apparently as everyone knows , jihadists consider the soles of the feet as the ultimate sign of disrespect. Hence , Obama was showing his Muslim homies how much he hates America. Glen Beck was so outraged that he suggested the president resign in disgrace. The folks at Twitchy , the racist social media site run by racist Michelle Malkin also got into the bitch fest , as did their equally racist followers on twitter.
  • Burger/Mustard Gate. Fox pundits and viewers were offended that president Obama dare put Dijon mustard on a hamburger instead of regular mustard , like a real American obviously would.  Laura Ingraham hinted that Obama wasn’t a real man because he chose not to add ketchup to his burger. Mark Steyn claimed he was trying to enlighten everyone with his order because he’s an elitist pretending to be a regular Joe. He was deeply offended that the president was crashing in as the Grey Poupon spokes person because it’s always been foreigners who had that role for years.
  • Had Breitbart murdered. Breitbart died of natural causes , but for wing nuts that wasn’t good enough of an explanation for his untimely death. Apparently Obama had him murdered because he had some damning evidence that turned out not to be so damning after all.
  • Scalia Gate. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia passed away February 15 from natural causes at a Texas ranch while on a hunting trip. Apparently a pillow was discovered to be partially covering his head. This of course , was enough evidence to convince  wing nuts to speculate that Obama had him killed. Christian lunatic , Rick Wiles claimed Obama had him killed as a sacrifice to Satan. Ted Nugent tweeted that conspiracy site Investment Watch blog knew the true motive behind his death. Alex Jones was convinced he was killed to further Obama’s anti-gun , pro socialist agenda. Lunatic radio host , Michael Savage suggested that there be a Warren Commission-style investigation into Scalia’s death.
  • Vacation Gate. For years Conservatives have been obsessed and even outraged that Obama would have the audacity to be on vacation when the world is falling apart. They’ve even been outraged that he would even take a vacation. They had no problem when George Bush took one , like that time when New Orleans’ residents drowned during hurricane Katrina. See also , Obama Is A Psychopath Because He Takes Vacations And Plays Golf.
  • Golf Gate. Playing golf is another pet peeve that Obama haters have against the current president. It’s not like the former president ever played a round of golf. The consensus is that he would rather be playing a few rounds than doing his job , meaning he’s just lazy and doesn’t know how to do his job , and hasn’t got a clue as to what’s going on in the world. According to Katie Pavlich , and Gina Loudon , Obama will gladly kill anyone to play golf with liberal elites like Jack Nicklaus and Stephen King , and that he had Scalia killed in hopes of putting  a liberal judge on the Supreme Court. See Golf Gate : Barack Obama’s Third Bloodiest Scandal.

According to many Conservatives who hate Obama , most of these actions prove that he hates America. But all they really prove is overt  racism toward  a black man with a Muslim name who had the audacity to run for president of the United States , and win … twice.

Posted in satire/humor

Obama The Duck

 Long before Barack Obama was even elected president , xenophobes , and racists  perceived  him as the Bogey Man , due to the rhetoric and propaganda pushed by Republicans. They believed all kinds of nonsense about him that wasn’t true.  He was a foreigner , a socialist , a communist , gay , a gay Muslim  , an alien , even the Anti-Christ. They are all ridiculous and childish reasons to be afraid of someone. That is , unless you’re living in a fantasy world where reality has no basis in fact , which is where many of today’s Conservatives don’t seem to mind living.

Since the moment Obama set foot in the White House , Republicans in congress and their supporters , have deliberately set out to discredit him. They have done everything they can to smear his name and reputation. They have used fear of a black man with a Muslim name – Hussein – in the White House , because they would rather have a white man as president. If he walks like a duck , talks like a duck , he must be a duck. In other words , he has a Muslim name , so he must be a socialist communist , Nazi , racist , gay Muslim duck.

There have been many  examples of Republican fear mongering. Death panels in the Affordable Care Act , more affectionately known as Obama Care among Conservatives :

July 16 , 2009 , Former lieutenant governor of New York , Betsy McCaughey claimed that section 1233 of the Affordable Care Act would give bureaucrats the right to decide who would live and who would die among the elderly and the disabled. It was repeated by the likes of Sean Hannity , Laura Ingraham , Rush Limbaugh , and Glen Beck.

July 24th , in a New York Post article , she claimed presidential advisor , Ezekiel Emanuel , said the elderly and disabled are not entitled to health care.

August 7th , on her Facebook page , Sarah Palin used the term “death panel” , in a post on the Affordable Care Act ,  which was quickly picked up and spread around the internet , and by others in the conservative media.

At the 2013 Values Voters summit in Washington , Ben Carson claimed that the Affordable Care Act was the worst thing in America since slavery , that it had more to do with control than health care.

Race baiting …

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Obama the Marxist socialist communist , Nazi , white culture hating racist , America hating , gay Muslim duck. Quack.

July 28 , 2009 ,  on his Fox News show , Glen Beck referred to the president as a white culture hating racist. Apparently , to Glen , it didn’t matter that his mother , Ann Dunham , was also white. He hates white people , so by Glen’s logic , he hated his mother , and therefore must be a racist duck.

Michelle Bachman’s 2010 Western Conservative Summit speech , complaining that Obama had turned America into a nation of slaves.

July 9 , 2010 , Glen beck whining about the New Black Panthers as Obama’s army of thugs. And in November of 2014 , lamenting that Obama’s executive action on immigration would most likely lead to a race war.

In a Fox interview , Palin accused the president of pining to return to the days when America was divided by different economic classes and skin color.

February 26 , 2012 , Trayvon Martin was fatally shot by George Zimmerman. Supposedly Zimmerman shot him in self-defense , after Martin discovered that Zimmerman had been following him. An altercation ensued , with Martin ending up dead. The Conservative media was quick and eager to jump to Zimmerman’s defense , portraying Martin as a thug ,  that he had gotten what he deserved.  Zimmerman was eventually charged with manslaughter , but was acquitted after trial. Soon after the acquittal , Obama in his remarks about the case , said that ‘it could have been him’ at that age , and expressing concern that these types of events happen all too often. The conservative media , in predictable fashion , went bonkers , accusing the president of race baiting , for daring to compare himself with Martin , while conveniently ignoring that those who defend and condone the murder of a black teenager wearing a hoodie , and reportedly armed only with a bag of skittles while committing no crime , are the true race baiters.

The Birther nonsense :

During the 2008 democratic primaries , speculations of Obama’s place of birth surfaced. It was quickly spread by every Conservative media outlet. Later that year Obama released his official birth certificate. In April , 2011 , he released a copy of his original certificate of live birth. Racists , bigots , and conspiracy fanatics , were convinced they were fakes.

August 2009 , Orly Taitz revealed a fake Kenya birth certificate. She was hoping to convince racists , bigots , and conspiracy freaks that it was genuine.

General fear mongering , some of which has crossed the border of idiocy , and into the realm of lunacy :

  • Obama is a Muslim loving terrorist , who sides with Islam. He loves them so much that he’s actually executed quite a few to prove it. Some intellectuals like Sarah Palin , and Rush Limbaugh have even suggested that he has droned them with flowers , candy , and other goodies.
  • He’s works For the Muslim Brotherhood , and has aided them by giving them jobs in the White House ( see Dana Leosch’s video , Jobs For Jihadis ).
  • He’s arming ISIS – while simultaneously bombing them ( see first paragraph ). Go figure.
  • He hates America. According to Victoria Jackson , in her book Barack’s Magic Pen , she claims he is destroying the country  by “shredding” – with his magic pen – the constitution with his unlawful executive actions , despite the fact that every president has issued executive actions. If that makes him a dictator  , he’s certainly not the first American tyrant.
  • He hates Christians. He’s persecuting them by supporting same -sex marriage , which proves he himself is gay , and which also proves – according to Victoria Jackson – that he’s a Muslim , since Muslim’s obviously endorse homosexuality.
  • He is disarming America. Paranoid gun loving fanatics like Ted Nugent ,  Jan Morgan , and their millions of cohorts , have bemoaned the absurdity of Obama coming for their guns since the moment  he took office. Jan wrote a book about her displeasure with Obama The Gun Grabber , How Obummer And Liberals Are Destroying The Second Amendment God Given Rights of Patriotic Gun Loving Americans. So far he has yet to confiscate a single fire arm.
  • Jade Helm. He’s invading Texas as a prelude to martial law. As a prelude to gun confiscation. As a prelude to throwing patriotic , paranoid gun loving fanatics into friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart stores that have been converted into Fema prison camps. As a prelude to taking over America and turning it into a third world communist dictatorship. Well , Jade Helm has since passed. Patriotic gun loving fanatics have not been rounded up , nor have their guns been taken away.
  • He’s destroying the economy. Well , not exactly. Anyone who seriously believes this , is living in denial. All one has to do is some fact checking to see that the economy has improved. Job numbers are five times higher than they were under the entire Bush economy , and unemployment is at least 5.6 %. But , its common knowledge among the average Obama hating conservative that facts have a liberal bias , and Obummer and the liberals have actually wrecked the economy beyond all repair.
  • Benghazi was a cover up , a scandal. Obama deliberately left four Americans to die , because he’s a Muslim who loves his Muslim brothers more than he loves America. Numerous investigations have said otherwise. And yet republicans continue to waste taxes with endless investigations that have proved nothing.
  • He’s the Anti-Christ. This is one of the most ridiculous claims , right up there with ‘he’s a Muslim’. According to Victoria Jackson in her book , The Mole That Is Not Really A Mole In The White House , Barack and his evil conjoined twin , Julio , plan to over throw America just before he leaves office.
  • He wants to eat Americas kids. Another ridiculous claim by Victoria Jackson , supported by her book , To Serve Obama.

The Republicans  and their allies in the conservative media will continue to use fear and misinformation as a means to persuade their supporters to vote against their own interests as long as Obama is in the White House. To those who wish to deny fact and truth , and instead choose to live in fantasy land , Obama will always be a socialist Marxist communist , Nazi , white culture hating racist , America hating , gay Muslim duck. Quack.