Posted in Alternative facts, Kelly Ann Conway, satire/humor

Fox Planning To Debut New Show , Alternative Facts With Kellyanne Conway

Aviary Photo_131410075116295130
Kellyanne Conway to host new show on Fox , Alternative Facts.

 Washington –  A new show will soon debut on Fox. It’s called Alternative Facts With Kellyanne Conway. The fair and balanced Fox News loves the new president , Donald Trump , and they love Kellyanne Conway just as much. The new show will air Friday mornings across the Fox Network , just after Fox And Friends , starting early next month.

According to producers of the new show , topics for discussion will include the size of president Trump’s inaugural attendance – which sources have claimed numbered in the hundreds of thousands – how former president Obama tapped Trump Tower phones , some sources even claiming that the Obama dogs were the real culprits , the supposed Bowling Green Massacre , and president Trump’s Muslim ban that really wasn’t a ban.

Alex Jones , King of kooks , crackpots  , wackos , and fruitcakes.

 Fans have praised  the new show as innovative , and ground breaking. “It’s a refreshing change to the liberal media bias ,” said conspiracy theorist , Alex Jones. “It’s about time someone as intelligent as Kellyanne Conway is willing to tell the truth that the liberal media under Obama wasn’t  willing to touch with a fine tooth comb , because they were his lap dogs , just like Sonny and Bo are his lap dogs. Like the tapping of the Trump Tower phones during the election. It was the Obama dogs that were the real criminals. And the Bowling Green Massacre , which really did happen , involving ACORN , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead , just as they were involved in stealing the last two elections for Obama. I can’t wait to be on her show and tell her all about it!”

Conservative wind bag , Mark Levin.

“Now that we have Donald Trump  , a real president in the White House!” Conservative screecher Mark Levin said earlier this week. “The alternative facts – the real facts – will come out! Obama and his whole family will finally be jailed for treason! We couldn’t get him on his birth certificate , we couldn’t get him on executive orders , and we couldn’t get him on Benghazi! But I am confident that we will get him on espionage! America will be outraged and shocked to learn that Obama trained his dogs Sonny and Bo Obama – who are most likely communists themselves , that’s right , I said it! Prove me wrong! – to tap president Trump’s phones! I can’t wait to be on the show!”

Aviary Photo_131410088198649308
The Motor City Madman reacting to the news of Kellyanne Conway getting her own show on Fox.

  No one was more excited than Ted Nugent. “When I found out Trump was the next president of the United States , I  actually crapped my pants , I was so excited ,” Ted Nugent told Gun Shots And Cum Shots magazine. His critics have charged that he did the same to avoid the Vietnam war , which Nugent claimed was nothing but liberal lies to make him look weak and spineless , something which can ‘be expected from liberals ,” he said. “When I found out Kellyanne Conway was getting her own show at Fox , my favorite channel , I crapped my pants again. I also shot my load and all eight hundred of my guns at the same time. I can’t wait to be on the show and do it again!”

Posted in Liberal Logic 101, Stupid Conservative memes

Stupid Conservative Memes #59 Liberal Logic 101 Edition

Aviary Photo_131403966542355839

What massive voter fraud? This meme provides no link to back up it’s outrageous claim. It just repeats a cherished Republican talking point to appeal to it’s shallow minded readers.

Fifty-two percent of Republicans were convinced that ACORN  stole the 2008 election for Barack Obama. After the 2012 election , it was forty-nine percent. They believed that ACORN wasn’t the only entity that helped Obama steal the elections. Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the walking dead , illegal immigrants , and the homeless of America – thousands upon thousands , all of whom Obama had  somehow managed to bus in to polling places all over America – also had a hand in it ( see How Barack Obama Really Stole The Elections : God Told Me Julio Made Him Do It , and How Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , ACORN , The Homeless , Illegal Immigrants , And The Walking Dead Helped Obama The Weasel Weasel His Way Into The White House ). This is how delusional Conservatives have become in the last eight years who believe this nonsense. Nothing is too extreme ; nothing is too insane. They really are willing to believe that Disney characters and ACORN – which didn’t even exist in 2012! – helped Obama steal the elections.

For a party that supposedly benefits from voter fraud time after time , they sure as hell didn’t benefit during the last election. Trump and some of his supporters claimed that it was most likely rigged , even though he became the president. Conservatives have been complaining about voter fraud for years when they lose an election , with no evidence. What they won’t tell you is what voter restriction laws are really all about.  That’s the real fraud.   

 

Posted in Liberal Logic 101, Stupid Conservative memes

Stupid Conservative Memes #56 Liberal Logic 101 Edition

       

Some of these memes are so ridiculous , I sometimes don’t know where to start. It’s obvious the people who put these things together , don’t put much thought into them. Just straw man liberals and accuse them of everything you do. Only a Conservative who doesn’t understand logic would write something  this absurd.

Liberals blame lax gun laws. Not true. When a shooting occurred during Obama’s watch , liberals blamed the person who committed the crime , not lax gun laws. To Conservatives , guns are not the problem , but gun control. Many of them believe they should have the right to own an arsenal of weapons , and anyone who might disagree , is violating their second amendment right. Anyone who believes a background check is unreasonable , and restrictive of the their second amendment right , and believes that this is proof that the government is out to take their guns , is basically a person who doesn’t care that a violent , potential criminal can their hands on a gun. These people don’t seem to get angry and frustrated that these shooting events take place , that children are being murdered. They seem to be more angry and frustrated that others have the audacity to want expanded background checks so these events don’t happen as frequently. I believe the politicians who have sold their souls to the NRA and to The Gun Owners Of America , and their rabid supporters in the Conservative news media who scream about gun control being an oppressive assault on the second amendment , they should be forced to attend the funerals of children whose bodies have been ripped to pieces by bullets. Maybe then they would do more than offer prayers.

Conservatives point out that victims were disarmed by oppressive gun restriction. These people sincerely believe that victims of gun violence would never be victims of gun violence , if only they had been armed. A variation of a  ‘a good guy with a gun will always stop a bad guy with a gun.’ Every gun nut from Dana Loesch to Ted Nugent has used this lame argument. Maybe these people should stand guard outside of public schools and wait for an opportunity to play cops and robbers with a maniac hell-bent on killing a few kids with an assault weapon. Most likely , none of them would live to brag about it. To suggest that victims , like the innocent children at Sandy Hook , were victims disarmed by oppressive gun restriction , is absolutely insane.

Liberals scream that Conservatives are heartless for politicizing a tragedy. Every single shooting that occurred during the Obama presidency , it was Conservative media that consistently accused Obama and Democrats of politicizing. They did it with the Sandy Hook shooting ( they mocked him for being emotional over the senseless deaths of children , proving – at least to me – that they value the second amendment over the lives of children ). They did it with Michael Brown. They did it with Trayvon Martin. They did it with the five Dallas police officers. They did it with the Chattanooga Tennessee shooting. They did it with the Dylann Roof , Charleston church shooting ( the no gun control crowd were more angry at the prospect of more gun control  , than they were at the fact that nine people had been murdered ). They did it with the San Bernardino shooting. They did it with the Orlando night club shooting. They did it with the Roseburg , Oregon , Umpqua community college shooting. In these instances , they blamed Obama and accused him of politicizing , because he had the temerity to express actual sympathy for the families of the victims , and the possibility that common sense gun reform might prevent some of these types of tragedies from occurring. How dare the communist , gun grabbing bastard! 

Posted in snowflake, Tomi Lahren

Twenty Fives Signs You Might Be An Alt-Right , Triggered , Whiny , Attention-Seeking Crybaby Snowflake Like Tomi Lahren , And Need A Safe Space , Part 1

Aviary Photo_131384028952901012
Tomi Lahren , Patron Saint and Queen of the alt-right snowflakes.

Since the election of Donald Trump , a new trend has become popular. It’s a term to describe anyone who takes offense easily , or gets triggered by anything they dislike. The term  is snowflake. During Trump’s campaign , his followers used it to insult anyone who disagreed with them , or with Trump himself. Tomi Lahren , the Patron Saint Of Snowflakes used it almost incessantly to insult liberals for everything they said and did , and by doing so , she proved herself to be the biggest snowflake of them all.

Here are the first ten trigger warnings that you might be a whiny , attention-seeking crybaby snowflake like Tomi Lahren , if …

1) You believe Donald Trump is a victim of the liberal news media. Criticism equals victim hood to many Trump supporters. 

2) You believe white people are victims of racism. Seriously , if you do , you’re a special kind of snowflake. 

3) You believe Black Lives Matter is a racist , anti-white hate group. If you  seriously believe this , seek mental therapy.

4) You believe the phrase Happy Holidays is a liberal assault on Christmas. Again , if you honestly  believes this ,  seek psychiatric help.  

5) You believe global warming is a liberal hoax , despite tons of scientific evidence. Read the scientific data.

6) You believe Barack Obama is an anti-white racist for criticizing a white police officer. 

7) You believe Conservatives are noble truth tellers , and liberals just lie all the time.

8) You believe Ted Nugent is a sane , intelligent human being who makes sense.

9) You believe Tomi Lahren tells it like it is.

10) You believe Donald Trump is a victim of liberal bullying.

 If you answered yes to any of these  , you are definitely an alt-right , triggered , whiny , attention-seeking , crybaby snowflake like Tomi Lahren and definitely need a safe space.

Posted in John Hawkins, satire/humor

What Liberals Believe ( Liberals Are Still Loons )

Aviary Photo_131334701123727680
Conservative sleuth , John Hawkins , sniffing out them evil , treasonous , America hating liberals.

 

Since the election of Donald Trump , liberals have gotten even crazier than they’ve ever been , and it’s all Barack Obama’s fault , because he was  jealous that Hillary Clinton lost , even though he rigged it with the help of ACORN , Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless , illegal aliens , and the walking dead , yes , the real walking dead , just as he rigged the last two elections with the same characters.

1) Liberals believe Trump will play more golf than Obama did. The truth is , all Obama did was play golf while the world went to hell.

2) Liberals believe Trump will sign more executive orders. The truth is , all Obama did was sign executive orders while the world went to hell. When he wasn’t signing executive orders , he was playing golf , and when he wasn’t playing golf , he was signing executive orders.

3) Liberals believe Trump is a racist because he wanted to build a wall to keep out those murderous , drug dealing illegal immigrants. But it’s really liberals who are racist because they want them to come here and collect welfare , food stamps , and do jobs “no American would want to do.”

4) Liberals believe Trump hates Muslims because his immigration ban will prevent them from coming here and murdering us in our sleep. 

5) Liberals believe ACORN doesn’t exist anymore. But the truth is , ACORN is still trying to rig the voting system for Democrats. They tried it in 2016 , and will most likely try it again in 2020.

6) Liberals don’t believe Obama spied on Trump. The truth is , Obama trained his dogs , Sonny and Bo to infiltrate Trump Towers to tap the phones. Those dogs are clever. They are also communists like Obama.

7) Liberals don’t believe Obama is on a permanent vacation. The truth is , ever since Obama entered the White House in 2009 , he has been on a permanent vacation. According to an unknown source , he was even planning to write a book called My Endless vacation In The White House.

8) Liberals are so delusional , they believe evolution and global warming are real. Even though there is no evidence for either , but refuse to believe in God even though there is a mountain of evidence. 

9) Liberals believe Obama is no longer playing golf. Even though he had banned all golf courses by executive order , for his personal use.

10) Liberals believe Conservatives hated Obama because he is black. Which proves they are the racists. Conservatives don’t like Obama because he was really born in Kenya. 

And there you have it , ten reasons why liberals are still loons.

Posted in Conservative Correctness, Gina Loudon, Political Correctness, Stupid Conservative memes

Stupid Conservative Memes #50 Gina Loudon Edition

Aviary Photo_131370180536952294

Conservatives shake their heads at the lemming mentality? Not exactly. They too  get easily triggered and offended by politically incorrect behavior and terms , even more so than the so-called left. For instance , it’s politically correct for the fringe Right to accuse Barack Obama of  treason over his birth certificate , executive action , and Benghazi. They wanted to sue him over all three. It’s politically correct  to call him an anti-white racist for criticizing a cop. It’s politically correct to say he hates cops , and wants to start a race war. It’s politically correct to refer to black unarmed men shot by police , as thugs. It’s politically correct to refer to Muslim shooters as terrorists. But it’s politically incorrect to refer to white male shooters as terrorists. It’s politically correct to call Hillary Clinton  a”toxic cunt.” But it’s politically incorrect to criticize said comment ; it’s liberal policing of free speech. It’s politically correct to say LGBT activists are Nazis. But it’s politically incorrect to call anti-gay bigots , anti-gay bigots. It’s politically correct to say Trayvon Martin got what he deserved , and that George Zimmerman was the real victim , but it’s politically incorrect to want justice for the actual victim. It’s politically correct to defend the cop who shot Michael Brown , but it’s politically incorrect to defend Michael Brown. It’s politically correct to refer to the social safety nets , i.e. Welfare , Snap , as government slavery. It’s politically correct to call abortion black genocide. It’s politically correct to accuse anyone who talks about racial inequality , of race baiting. And it’s politically correct to compare Black Lives Matter activists to the KKK , because just like the real KKK , they are  lynching , and burning crosses on the lawns of white people.

Aviary Photo_131372061116310570

An example of a few trigger warnings for Obama haters.

However , it was politically incorrect when Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks spoke out against the Iraq war ; it was politically incorrect to criticize president Bush. His critics were traitors , Obama’s critics are patriots. It’s  politically incorrect for anyone to protest in a way not approved by Conservatives , i.e. , black athletes not standing for the national Anthem , as Colin Kaepernick and others did. They were also traitors. It’s politically incorrect to question Americas imperialistic behavior. It’s  politically incorrect to criticize soldiers and police officers as anything less than perfect. It’s  politically incorrect to claim the Civil War was  really about slavery instead of states rights , and that the confederate flag is about anything other than southern pride. It’s politically incorrect to say Happy Holidays , instead of the politically correct term , Merry Christmas.      


Just as Conservatives have their own political correctness , they don’t see the irony in the fact that have their own herd , or lemming mentality. They will believe and repeat anything they hear from within their own circle. Which is why die-hard Obama haters never heard a Obama conspiracy or controversy they didn’t like :  

He faked his birth certificate. He was really born in Kenya ; not Hawaii. He’s a Muslim. Supported Muslim terrorists. Attended an anti-white church for twenty years. Hates America. Hated his own military. Created ISIS. Allowed four Americans to die in Benghazi. Had several gay lovers before becoming president. Hated cops and promoted their murders by criticizing the killings of unarmed black individuals at  the hands of certain police officers. Would confiscate Americas guns. Would postpone the 2016 election so he could stay in office , because that’s what evil dictators do. Obama Care was socialism. Obama Care would promote homo-erotic twerking ( one of Loudon’s favorites ). Obama Care contained death panels. He would bring hundreds of millions of Muslims into American for the purpose of turning it into a Muslim caliphate. His parents were commies. Hated Christians. Was a socialist commie because he was a community organizer. ACORN , Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless , illegal immigrants and the walking dead ( real dead people ) helped him steal the 2008 and 2012 elections. Was the mastermind behind the fake Aurora , and Sandy Hook shootings , which was a sinister plot to confiscate  guns , or something. Cooked the jobs report numbers to make himself look good. Caused the 2008 recession in 1995 , because he forced banks to lend to poor black people who couldn’t pay back the loans. Ran around in his childhood planting explosives with Bill Ayers. Faked Bin Laden’s death. Created an executive order to outlaw freedom via martial law. Used hypnotism to convince people to vote for him. Was racist , because he criticized a white police officer , and by commenting on the death of Trayvon Martin. Hated Israel , and proved how much by funding Iron Dome  , and by giving them military and humanitarian aid every year ). Was planning on bringing Ebola to America as an excuse to create martial law via executive order. Dr. Gina and her cronies at World Nut Daily harped on this one incessantly for weeks in 2014. Persecuted Christians by criticizing Un Christian like behavior. Outlawed the phrase , Merry Christmas. Killed Breitbart. Killed Scalia. Was Un-American for putting ketchup on a hamburger. Took endless vacations. Played endless rounds of golf while people all around the world died. And my personal favorite , Gina Loudon’s diagnoses that Obama was a psychopath for having the audacity to take endless vacations and play endless rounds of golf while people all around the world died.

Talk about your lemming mentality! Conservatives see themselves as noble truth tellers , but liberals shake their heads and call them hypocrites , hypocrites , and hypocrites.