Posted in Jeanine Pirro, satire/humor

Fox News Insider’s Jeanine Pirro : Too Dumb And Crazy To Know She’s Insane

http://insider.foxnews.com/2018/10/14/judge-jeanine-pirro-rips-democrats-media-over-anti-trump-antics

Jeanine Pirro , mainstream media’s dumbest and craziest host.

The crazy never ends with Jeanine Pirro.

For more than seven years the host of Justice With Judge Jeanine has made a reputation for herself as the most controversial commentator at Fox News. Each week her adoring fans tune in to watch their favorite host say something crazy , because they now she’s bat crap insane. And since her lips are permanently glued to the president’s rear end , she never fails to satisfy their appetite for crazy.

During a 2016 rant , she made the ridiculous claim that America had united behind former president Obama , and urged Democrats and Liberals to do the same with Trump. Yeah , that’s not going to happen.

During a December 2017 broadcast of her show , she metaphorically donned a Hitler uniform while going off on an authoritarian rant against top DOJ and FBI officials , calling for them to be ‘taken out in cuffs ‘ for daring to investigate the current sitting president.

In September she complained about Obama having the audacity to criticize president Trump. ‘How dare you , ‘ she complained. ‘This man is the president of the United States , someone we put in office , and he is to be respected.’

Apparently , Jeanine showed Obama the same respect and never criticized him once.

Last summer , she ranted about the Obama’s teaming with Netflix , during which rant , she lost her mind and was dragged off to the funny farm , but unfortunately , it was only for a short visit.

Shortly after returning to Fox News , she went off on yet another rant , calling the Democratic party Demon rats for attempting to smear an innocent president who could do no wrong. Again , she was dragged off to the funny farm , but once again it wasn’t long enough , as some had previously noted.

On a recent episode of Justice With Judge Jeanine , the former judge took another detour from reality. According to an unnamed witness who described it , ‘it was a wild ride on the crazy train which judge Jeanine has taken many times in her years at Fox News.’

“Jeanine had just finished her opening statement , which was full of bulls**t as usual ,” she told the Journal. “Nothing new , nothing original. Just a bunch of stringed together s**tty talking points , basically the same s**t she tweeted the night before.”

The Demon rats have proven how uncivil they are by confronting Republicans , criticizing president Trump ( how dare they , we never criticized Obama ) , and protesting. The mob mentality is all they know. From Eric Holder’s ‘they go low , we kick ’em’, to clawing at the doors of the Supreme Court , it’s time to set the rat traps again and show the Demon rats they’re too dumb to know they’re losing.

“The insanity started after her opening statement , and as usual , she was angry. Angry that anyone would dare criticize or oppose president Trump , and it always infuriated her. During the break , the make up girl , a teenage intern , had to apply a thin layer of skin tone to her face , because Jeanine would sweat so profusely under the bright lights when she was upset , causing her make up to run.

” ‘Just who the hell do they think they are?!’ Jeanine said to no one in particular. She was absolutely fuming.

The make up girl apparently thought Jeanine was talking to her.

” ‘Excuse me , Ma’am , were you talking to me?’

” ‘No , I wasn’t talking to you. Just do your job.’

” ‘Yes , ma’am ,’ said the girl.

” ‘Two minutes , judge ,’ the director said from the control booth.

“Everyone at Fox referred to Jeanine as judge , judge Jeanine , your honor , or your highness. She insisted on it. Her ego was that inflated. And since almost everyone was terrified of her , no one dared argue with her. If you failed to address her as such , there was hell to pay. You had two options. Lose your job , or grovel at her feet – literally , she insisted on that , too – while begging her forgiveness. And since no one wanted to lose their job , they chose to grovel at her feet. I’d seen it happen to a few employees who were foolish enough not to address her by one of her chosen titles , and it was thoroughly humiliating to witness.

“Jeanine was the most popular news commentator at Fox , easily beating out Hannity and Carlson in the ratings on any given day , both of whom were the networks most popular male commentators. But Jeanine was The most popular commentator , not because she had any integrity as a reporter – she didn’t , she completely lacked any integrity whatsoever – but because she was so crazy she could always be counted on to do or say something completely outrageous. And she always delivered. She was non stop ratings gold for the network.

“She was also president Trump’s pet favorite , and it was no mystery why. Jeanine always took the opportunity to kiss his a** , which was also no mystery , since her nose was forever , thoroughly and permanently lodged up his rectum like a cork that has been jammed all the way inside a Champaign bottle. And damned if anyone was going to dislodge it!

“The producers of her show were well aware of this and took the opportunity to issue a memo to all employees not to upset the b****h queen – not their words , but what many of us called her behind her back. Some of us also referred to her as Sniff Queen Jeanine , or The Sniff Queen.

“What the producers should have done , was fire her after her previous behavior.

” ‘Who the hell do they think they are!?’ Jeanine said again , this time pounding a fist on her desk , startling the girl. ‘Do they think they can criticize and bad mouth the greatest president who ever lived , and get away with it? I’ll give those Demon rats something to b***h about!’

“The intern looked slightly amused. ‘Demon rats? What’s a Demon rat?’

” ‘A Democrat ,’ Jeanine said , looking at the girl as if she were an idiot.

” ‘A Demon rat is a Democrat who criticizes the president?’

” ‘That’s right.’

” ‘Well , that doesn’t sound very nice. If you ask me , it sounds immature and creepy.’

” ‘Excuse me?’ Jeanine said. ‘Did I ask for your opinion?’

” ‘No , ma’am.’

” ‘Then I’ll thank you shut your pie hole and keep your opinions to yourself. We’ll all be a lot happier.’

” ‘Yes , ma’am.’

” ‘One minute , your heinie , uh , uh , um , I mean your highness ,’ the director stammered from the control booth. You could hear the nervousness in his voice. He knew he had screwed up and knew he would soon be groveling at Jeanine’s feet if he wanted to keep his job. But Jeanine appeared not to notice.

“Jeanine appeared not to notice , but the intern sure did. She struggled not to laugh as she finished applying the tone to Jeanine’s face.

” ‘What the hell is so funny?!’

” ‘Nothing’s funny ,’ the girl said.

” ‘Wipe that grin from your pie hole , little girl , or so help me God I’ll wipe it off for you!’

“When Jeanine told her to wipe the grin from her pie hole , all hell broke loose. The girl could no longer suppress her laughter. She burst out laughing.

” ‘Pie hole! Heinie!’ the girl nearly screamed , laughing even harder. ‘Oh God! Oh Jesus! Oh Mary! Oh Joseph! Jesus , Mary , Joseph f***king Christ!

” ‘Heinie and pie hole are funny to you?’

” ‘Yes!’ the girl said , laughing uncontrollably. She was now laughing so hard she was doubled over , clutching her stomach with both hands.

” ‘Somebody make it stop!’ the girl cried. ‘Oh God , somebody make it stop! It hurts! I can’t stop laughing!’

” ‘Shut up , you little b***h!’ Jeanine said and lunged at the girl.

“As Jeanine launched herself at the girl , the studio door flew open and the director rushed in.

” ‘Jesus Christ!’ he said , ‘not again!’

“He had been the director both previous times Jeanine had boarded the crazy train , and he clearly didn’t know how to handle the situation.

” ‘For God sake , break it up you two , we’re back in ten seconds ,’ he said , glancing at his watch.

“Jeanine and the girl ignored him. Jeanine had the girl pinned under her and was slapping her in the face repeatedly.

” ‘Who’s laughing now , little girl?!’

” ‘Get off me , crazy b***h!’ the girl cried. ‘Help! Somebody get this crazy bitch off me! She’s lost her f**king mind!’

“No one dared pull Jeanine off her. We all knew we would get the same treatment she was giving the girl. And for good measure we would have to grovel for forgiveness at her feet.

“Instead of cutting off the cameras as he should have done , the director attempted to pull the two apart , and that was a mistake. It was a mistake because he put his hands on Jeanine , attempting to pull her away from the girl , and no one put their hands on Jeanine. Especially a man . She was the Fox News queen and president Trump’s favorite a** kisser , and she better be treated like royalty.

“The second the director laid hands on Jeanine , she growled like a wild animal , and stopped slapping the girl.

” ‘How dare you touch me!’ she said , and flipped him over her shoulder with ease , as if he were nothing more than a rag doll. She seemed either possessed with super human strength , or was high on Trump’s farts. The latter seemed more likely.

“The director flew across the studio a good ten feet or more , and landed on his back with a painful thud. He lay still a moment , groaning , and then struggled to his feet , gripping his back with both hands as he stumbled back to the control booth , where he was told to keep filming after the break.

“As the director sailed across the studio , the girl managed to push Jeanine off her and was attempting to get away. But Jeanine was too quick. She yanked the girl back by the hair , managing to rip out a fistful.

” ‘Where do yo think you’re going?!’ There was a tearing sound like someone splitting open their pants , and the girl squealed , clutching at her head.

” ‘You ripped out my hair!

“There was an angry , red bald spot on the back of her head. For a moment the two stared at each other , stunned , like deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. Jeanine glanced at the fistful of hair as if she couldn’t believe what she had done.

” ‘I’ll kill you!’ the girl screamed.

” ‘Not if I kill you first!’

“The two lunged at each other , flailing away like toddlers in a preschool brawl. ” ‘I’ll scratch your eyes out!’ the girl screamed.

” ‘Not if I scratch yours out first!’

“For nearly a minute they continued to flail blindly as they cursed each other with one vulgar name after another. Then finally Jeanine managed once again to latch onto the girl’s hair with her well manicured claws and proceeded to tear loose another handful. The girl screamed and lunged at Jeanine. The two rolled around the floor screaming and cursing and tearing each others hair out.

“It wasn’t long before security arrived. As they attempted to calm the two down and pull them off each other , Jeanine punched one guard in the face and flipped the other , just as she had flipped the poor director , who was now cowering in the control booth.

“The unfortunate guard also went flying , this time I was certain a good twenty feet. He too landed on his back , with an ‘ooofff!’ and lay still , as the guard Jeanine punched , struggled to calm her down. But Jeanine wasn’t having it. She kicked and punched at him weakly , at last beginning to tire herself out.

“The girl was lying on the floor , exhausted. She had a black eye , a bloody nose , and chunks of her hair were missing. Someone helped her up , and escorted her out of the studio.

“Jeanine was still struggling weakly with the guard , who had at last managed to restrain her in cuffs. She looked worse than the girl. She had much more hair missing from her scalp , and her face was streaked grotesquely with make up. She looked like the Zuni fetish doll in the Trilogy Of Terror movie.

” ‘How dare you hand cuff me!’ she screeched at the guard. ‘You’ll lose your job for this. Release me now damn it , or so help me God when I become the next attorney general , I’ll see to it that you never get another job!’

“She was under the delusion that she would be the next attorney general , but apparently was not aware that Jeff Sessions had already been replaced.

“The guard ignored her. He didn’t care if she was the queen of the network or the president’s favorite. And since he was not a Fox News employee , he would never have to grovel at her feet like the rest of us.

“Most of the brawl had been caught on camera. What had not been filmed , were the assaults on the director , the two security guards , her arrest for multiple counts of assault , and the orderlies who restrained her , shot her full of Thorazine and dragged her off to the local funny farm for a third straight visit. But like the previous visits , she was gone only a couple of days.

“Like most of her critics , the producers of her show knew she was crazy , and they took advantage of that craziness by allowing her to continue making a fool of herself every week. They also knew she was making the network look foolish , but they couldn’t care less as long as it was good for the ratings. And it was ratings gold.

“The brawl with the intern was used as a separate segment , titled , Justice With Judge Jeanine : Judge Jeanine Assaulted By Violent Leftist. The premise of the segment was that Jeanine would be interviewing a college social justice warrior about Trump’s border wall , when the leftist suddenly goes berserk and attacks her , because as Fox viewers are brainwashed to believe , all leftists are intolerant to those who disagree with them , and each one constitutes a violent mob.

“But since there had only been the brawl between the intern and Jeanine , they filmed a fake interview with a look-alike to play the crazed liberal. It aired during her show a couple of weeks later , and it became the highest rated program on the network. Millions tuned in to watch Jeanine make a complete fool of herself.

“The week after it aired , the network’s two most insufferable commentators , Tucker Carlson and Laura Ingraham , ran constant clips of it , with the ridiculous heading : Judge Jeanine Owns Crazy College Lib , creaming themselves with satisfaction after each airing.

“The producers of her show knew she would never have come up with such a brilliant idea on her own , because they knew she was too dumb and crazy to realize how insane she is.”

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Posted in Laura Ingraham, satire/humor

Laura Ingraham Suffers Breakdown Over Lamestream Media Criticism Of Melania Trump

http://insider.foxnews.com/2018/12/14/laura-ingraham-media-bashing-melania-trump-michelle-obama-could-do-no-wrong

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Laura Ingraham , smug , punk a** b***h

Conservatives often say liberals are the real snowflakes , who melt over the slightest politically correct offense. But on last Thursdays Ingraham Angle , Laura Ingraham , went into full melt down mode over CNN’s criticism of First Lady Melania Trump’s interview with Sean Hannity. According to anonymous witnesses at Fox News , some of their commentators are the most sensitive snowflakes in mainstream media.

In an earlier interview with Sean Hannity , Melania Trump criticized comedians , politicians , journalists , and Hollywood elites for using her family name to advance themselves.

“Let’s face it , Sean ,” she said. “No other first lady has been bullied more than me , and no other president has been hated more than my husband.”

CNN and other media commentators referred to the comments as a ‘meltdown’ by the first lady.

“You could tell Laura Ingraham was offended by CNN’s criticism of Melania Trump ,” an anonymous female witness told the Journal.

“I’ve never liked Laura. To me , she’s nothing more than an elitist snob , and most of the men , with the exception of Shepard Smith , and possibly Juan Williams , are nothing more than male chauvanist , elitist pricks , like Tucker Carlson , always whining about elitist liberal pricks. How’s that for irony?

“Like a lot of conservatives , because Laura’s conservative , she believes she’s superior to most people , especially liberals , which I believe is the reason for that smug attitude , like she believes it’s beneath her dignity to talk to anyone else , and I always felt the urge to punch her in the face. I’m not normally a confrontational person , but when pushed , I can be quite a handful. I once had a run in with Laura on the set. I won’t go into so many details , but it had to do with a disagreement we had about a certain subject.

” ‘You think you’re right , don’t you , huh girly?’ she said with that hateful smug look. ‘Right , huh , girly? Right? Right? What’s the matter , girly? Cat got your tongue?’

“She was obviously trying to egg me into some sort of confrontation , or a fight , but I wasn’t taking the bait.

” ‘You keep telling yourself that , Missy. Someday you’ll realize you were full of s**t ,’ she said before walking away.

“I never wanted to punch her in the face more than I did at that moment.

“Laura can’t stand it when people disagree with her. She always has to be right. To be a member of the Laura Ingraham fan club , you have to worship Trump and the Republican party , and defend them at every opportunity , and hate Obama , Democrats , and liberals , and bash them whenever convenient. And if you fail to do either one , she considered you her sworn enemy.

“Speaking to her co host , Howard Kurtz , Laura said , ‘I have to agree with her , Howard. No other first lady , I believe , has endured so much hatred as Melania Trump. Not even Michelle Obama. I mean , it’s appalling to me that the mainstream liberal media won’t admit it. Fox News is the only one pointing this stuff out.’ 

“You keep telling yourself that , you smug a** b***h ,” I thought to myself.

“Kurtz agreed. ‘Because she’s a first lady , who for the first time in eight years , who looks like a woman , they mock her accent , her clothes , her feet , her hair and the fact that she used to be a nude model. Despite that , she’s impeccable , flawless. She’s never once said she wasn’t proud of her country , that white folks were the real problem , or that slaves built the White House. Nothing is off limits to them. They hate her no matter what she says or does.’

“Not much of a difference from the way Moochelle was treated by conservatives , huh , Howie?

“Kurtz could on occasion be a smug a** b***h himself , but he wasn’t as infuriating as Ingraham was , and I never felt the urge to punch him in the face. But this time , the urge was overwhelming. He had just referred to Michelle Obama as a man , and that infuriated me. To me , Michelle Obama was more of a woman than Melania Trump could ever be. She had never melted down over the slightest criticism , and never disgraced herself or her position as first lady by posing nude in men’s magazines.

” ‘In contrast , Michelle Obama could do nothing right ,’ Ingraham said.

“Again I wanted to punch the smugness from her face.

” ‘She not only hated her country , had a problem with white people , and the White House , but she also looked masculine , and she often wore men’s clothing.’

“You lying , punk , smug a*** b***h , ” I thought.

” ‘Some people even said she was a man. I mean , everything about her was just the exact opposite of Melania Trump. Her hands and feet looked like they belonged on somebody like Shaquille O’Neal , or Bigfoot. Am I being too unkind? I’m told I’m being rude. Even her butt was too big. OK , let’s leave it at that.’

“Laura’s demeanor suddenly changed. In a matter of a few seconds her attitude went from insufferable smugness , to a mixture of anger and melancholy , but mostly sadness. She looked like she was about to start bawling at any moment. It happened so suddenly I wasn’t sure if it was real or if she was faking it.

” ‘Which is nothing compared to the way Melania is treated by the liberal media ,’ she cried , tears now starting to run down her face , causing her masscara to smear and run as well.

Her voice became more nasal than usual , and she punctuated the end of each sentence with a loud , wet , disgusting sniff , which was even more annoying , as if she were trying to suck the snot back in before it could start dribbling uncontrollably out her nostrils.

” ‘She doesn’t look masculine!’ Sniff! ‘She doesn’t wear men’s clothing!’ Sniff! ‘Her hands and feet aren’t too big!’ Sniff! ‘They don’t look like they belong on Shaquille O’Neal!’ Sniff! ‘Or Bigfoot!’ Sniff! ‘And her butt isn’t too big. ‘ Sniff! ‘But still , Howie , they won’t leave her alone. Why , oh why , Howie , won’t they leave her alone?!’

“She waited for Howie to answer , but when he failed to do so she gave the loudest , most disgusting sniff and started bawling uncontrollably.

“I knew she wasn’t faking it the moment I saw Howie’s reaction. Howie sat there staring at her , not sure how to respond , apparently shaken by her outburst.

“She repeated the question , word for word , the exact way she nearly screamed it at Howie , only this time punctuating each word by pounding on her desk with both fists. The desk shook violently with each blow. When the first blow landed , Howie looked so startled that he jumped almost a foot off his seat. Everyone in the place was staring at her. No one had ever seen her behave this way before. Which wasn’t just unexpected , it was also funny. Hilariously funny.

“She continued to blubber uncontrollably , swaying ever so slightly in her seat , as everyone , including Howie , the camera men , and myself stared at her. She seemed oblivious to everything except her blubbering , which was embarrassing to watch. I always knew Laura was a bit of a snowflake at heart , but this was beyond embarrassing. It was ridiculous.

“Howard finally spoke. ‘Laura , you alright?’

“Laura didn’t answer. She continued to blubber , swaying in her seat , as if she were in a trance or something. Her shoulders heaved with her sobs. Her face was streaked comically with mascarra and tears , and snot bubbled from her nostrils. It was no use trying to suck it back in now.

“She was behaving far worse than my three year old daughter when she didn’t get her way. My daughter could be excused. There was no excuse for Laura behaving this way.

” ‘It’s not fair , Howie ,’ she mumbled. ‘Why won’t they leave her alone?’ She was starting to calm down a bit. ‘Somebody get me a tissue.’

“Nobody wanted to get her a tissue. Howard shoved a box of tissues at her. ‘Laura , snap out of it , ‘ he said. ‘You’re making a fool of yourself.’

“Laura acted as if she hadn’t heard him. She snatched a tissue from the dispenser. She attempted to wipe her nose , but her hand was shaking so badly that she smeared snot all over her face. For a moment she stared at the tissue , then she burst out bawling again.

“From that moment onward , things went from bad to worse for Laura Ingraham , and I can’t say that I felt sorry for her.

“She cried so hard and long after failing to wipe her nose , that she finally fell out of her seat. I knew it was coming. It was inevitable. After all that blubbering , she was bound to hit the floor , and hit it she did , with a solid thump that was so loud that everyone rushed to her side to see if she had injured herself. I thought she might have hit her head on the floor when she fell.

” ‘Laura , are you hurt?’ Howard said. But Laura continued to babble ‘It’s so unfair ,’ over and over again.

“Jesus Christ , ” I said , shaking my head.

” ‘Jesus Christ , ‘ Howard said.

” ‘Jesus Christ ,’ the two camera operators said in unison.

” ‘What the f**k is her problem?’ One of them asked.

“Laura had suffered a breakdown apparently due to her reaction to media criticism of Melania Trump , whom Laura believes is perfect and can do no wrong. Of course , this is just speculation on my part. Other factors may be involved. But that’s what I believe happened. After more than two years of pent up anger , she had finally snapped , and to make matters worse , she had done it during prime time on live TV , making a complete fool of herself. But if I know Laura , she’ll try to spin the situation to her advantage.

“Will the producers cancel her show , or fire her for making a spectacle of herself and the network? One can only hope so. Or , as with Jeanine Pirro , will they be spineless cowards and allow her to continue embarrassing them?

“Whatever happens , Laura Ingraham is an evil b***h , who deserves to be fired.”

Posted in Donald Trump, satire/humor

President Trump To Michelle Obama : ‘I Will Never Forgive Obama For Destroying Our Military’

President Trump’s incoherent ‘I’ll never forgive Obama’ rant.

In response to Michelle Obama’s new book , in which she said she would never forgive Trump for his role in birtherism , president Trump told reporters on the White House lawn before leaving for a trip to Paris , that he would never forgive Obama for decimating the military , and for other horrible things he had supposedly done.

“Michelle Obama said what? I haven’t really seen or heard anything about that. I guess she wrote a book or something , maybe a memoire , who knows , something she was paid a lot of money to do , I guess , in which she wrote something controversial?

“You want controversial? Here’s controversial for you. I will never forgive Obama for depleting our military , for destroying our military.”

CNN White House reporter , Abby Phillip : “The United States military has the largest spending budget compared to every other nation combined. It’s ridiculous to suggest that president Obama destroyed it.”

“Not really. It was completely depleted under Obama. It was completely destroyed. It wasn’t funded the way it should have been. It was so old and tired , it was so out of date , it was so worn out , everything was so old and falling apart it was almost as if Obama had dropped a bomb on it , it was so dishevelled. The equipment , the military equipment like the tanks , the planes , the ships , and the military vehicles , almost none of them worked anymore. They were literally falling apart from disuse , they were sitting out in fields gathering dust and rust from years of neglect , because Obama wasn’t spending any more money. The tanks and planes and the military vehicles that did work , Obama often abused for his own personal use , like taking his kids to school and parties , and taking Michelle to beauty salons at tax payers expense , instead of what they were really supposed to be used for , like blowing people up. It was disgraceful.

“But what he did to our men and women in uniform , to our soldiers and military leaders , was even more disgraceful. Their uniforms were also gathering dust , and they were moth-eaten , because Obama was too cheap to spend money on new uniforms. They often had to go into battle with their uniforms falling to shreds , and some even had to go naked because Obama was too cheap to spend a few bucks on uniforms for his own military. And if anyone dared complain , he would say to them , your fired. It was no coincidence that we had a record number of military leaders fired under Obama , because he fired them for complaining about having to wear moth eaten uniforms , having to fight naked , and Obama using military vehicles for his own personal taxi service.

“Even their equipment was falling apart. Their guns were often antiquated – is that the right word I’m looking for , who knows? – they looked like guns from the eighteen hundreds or something. And they often had no bullets. Often they would jam , or back fire into the faces of our brave men and women. And even though they had weapons , half the time they were ordered not to engage the enemy , because Obama told them that ISIS and Al Qaeda were already contained , and not a threat , so he had them all running in the other direction , away from the terrorists , away from ISIS , and Al Quaeda , because he was terrible at foreign policy , he had no idea what he was doing. Under Obama ISIS was allowed to terrorize the middle east , because , and let’s be truthful here , him and crooked Hillary were the founders of ISIS , and it made America very unsafe for you and me.

“But the most disgraceful thing of all , the one thing that bothered our troops the most , is the fact that they were not allowed to say Merry Christmas for eight years. It was disgraceful. Not only were they not allowed to say Merry Christmas , they couldn’t celebrate it because Obama hated Christmas like he hated everything else , including his own military.

” But I came in and fixed everything. I spent tremendous amounts of money on new military vehicles like tanks and planes and ships. I’m not a cheap skate like Obama. They’re no longer rotting in fields gathering dust and rust , they’re doing what they’re supposed to be doing , blowing people up , and he’s not using them to take Michelle and the kids to Disneyland. He wants to , but I told him , no way , get outta here Obama , and I told him he wasn’t using them for his personal taxi service , and I think I hurt his feelings.

“And I spent a tremendous amounts of money on new uniforms. Our troops no longer have to wear uniforms that are falling apart or moth-eaten , or engage the enemy naked. I also spent tremendous amounts of money on new weapons and bullets. They no longer have to use weapons that don’t work , or blow up in their faces , they don’t have to run away like cowards , and nobody’s complaining because I’m making everything great again , and they’re so happy to be able to say Merry Christmas again.”

Posted in satire/humor

Charlie Kirk’s Pants Fall Down At Politicon Debate!

http://www.joemygod.com/2018/10/21/charlie-kirk-flips-out-at-young-turks-founder-video/

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Politicon took place over this past weekend , and it was quite an event to say the least. People of all political persuasions attended the event to see their favorite pundit , or their favorite celebrity. Among the attendees were conservatives Tomi Lahren , Scottie Nell Hughes , and Tucker Carlson of the Fox News Network. On the progressive side were Cenk Uygur , Ana Kasparian , Hassan Piker , Sam Seder , and Kyle Kulinski of the Young Turks Network.

Among the featured notables from past years events were popular speakers Ann Coulter , and Ben Shapiro , both Fox News contributors. The pair was originally scheduled to debate social Democrat Kyle Kulinski of Secular Talk and the Young Turks Network. But , for some reason , both backed out at the last-minute.

Most of the event was uneventful in terms of excitement. The majority of the debaters managed to behave in a civilized manner , without insulting each other. However , during one debate between the Young Turk’s Hasan Piker and TPUSA’s Charlie Kirk , things got quickly heated and embarrassing.

Near the end of the debate , as the two were involved in a near shouting match , Kirk asked Piker to reveal his salary or go live in a socialist commie country like Venezuela.

At that moment , he was heckled by the founder of the Young Turks Network , Cenk Uygur ( pronounced Jank ) who was sitting in the audience with his colleague , Anna Kasparian.

Uygur stood up and shouted , “Hasan will tell you how much he makes when you tell us what kind of diapers you wear and who buys them for you!”

All I did was ask Charlie to reveal what type of diaper he wears and who buys them for him. I wanted to know if his rich donors also buy his diapers , and he flipped out! I thought he might jumped off stage , pounce on me and try to rub his diaper in my face. Wow! Totally unexpected.

There was piercing laughter from most of the liberals and progressives in the crowd. Even some of Kirk’s fans laughed , but many of them also booed.

“You could tell Charlie was embarrassed ,” a witness told the Journal. “But he was more angry than embarrassed. For a moment or two he sat there with his face turning red , scowling as the audience laughed at him. He looked like a petulant two-year old whose mommy had just told him to stand in the corner. The few that weren’t laughing , either looked angry or as embarrassed as he did.

“Then something completely unexpected happened , and that was when all hell broke loose , and things started to get really interesting. Charlie shot to his feet and glared at Uygur. Then he made a move toward the edge of the stage as if he wanted to challenge Uygur to a fight. Piker and the moderator shot to their feet , anticipating a confrontation between the two. And that’s when the unexpected happened. Just before the moderator and Piker could restrain him , Charlie’s pants fell down!

“I guess they weren’t zipped up all the way and fell down almost immediately after he stood up.”

The laughter started to die down as Kirk , Piker , and the moderator rose to their feet.

“When Charlie’s pants fell down , all remaining laughter ceased ,” the witness continued. “The audience was stunned into complete silence. The moderator and Piker said oh my God at the same time and backed away. Piker looked disgusted. The moderator looked confused , as if he couldn’t decide whether to be disgusted , shocked , or surprised.

“Jaws dropped and eyes bugged out , including my own. You can probably guess what Charlie was wearing under his pants. That’s right. You guessed it. He was wearing diapers.

” ‘I wear pampers , Cenk!’ Charlie shouted. ‘I wear them every day , okay?! I buy them myself! Nobody buys them for me! I’m proud to wear them because it owns the libs! And you know what else? I like wearing them not only to own the libs , I like wearing them because they’re soft , they’re plush , they have giraffes and other animals on them , and they’re water proof! You can’t get that in any other diaper! That’s why I recommend them to my family , friends , and all my followers! You want to make something of it?! Come on Cenk , let’s go!’

“That’s when all hell broke loose. The moment he stopped shouting at Uygur , the entire audience erupted in laughter. They couldn’t help it. They had been holding it in the whole time he had been screaming at Uygur.

“The image of Charlie Kirk and his followers in baby diapers to own the libs , was funny enough , but to see it first hand , was hilarious. People were rolling around on the floor , holding onto one another , or doubled over in laughter. Almost everyone in the audience was in tears , they were laughing so hard , including myself. My sides ached from laughing so hard.

“Some of Charlie’s own fans and most of the MAGA hatters had also completely lost it. One guy in a MAGA hat was on the floor with his face buried in his arms , his shoulders and back heaving. At first I thought he was crying , but then I realized he was laughing. An old woman in a Trump Tee shirt was also on the floor , kicking her feet and pounding her fists. She looked like she might be having a tantrum , but she was also laughing. Another guy in a Trump America Tee shirt , was on his back on the floor , holding onto his stomach as if he were afraid it would fly away as he laughed. Two teenage girls next to him were holding onto each other as they laughed hysterically.

“Passersby glanced curiously at the crowd , wondering what the hell was going on.

“There were very few people who weren’t laughing. Those that weren’t laughing , were some of Charlie’s more serious followers. They looked absolutely embarrassed. Most of them were shaking their heads and or glancing sheepishly toward the rooms exits as if they were wondering if they could get out without being noticed. I felt kind of sorry for them. Their whole purpose in life is to own the libs. But they certainly failed to own the libs last year during their first diaper stunt , and they certainly won’t own the libs with this one. All that will happen , I suspect , is that the libs will own them by ridiculing them on-line like they did the last time.

“Charlie scowled at the audience for nearly a minute , his face turning redder with each passing second. Then he angrily threw down the microphone he had been holding and attempted run off the stage as quickly as he could with his pants around his ankles , which apparently wasn’t easy. He tripped twice , drawing more laughter from the crowd , and finally made it back stage.

“I felt kind of sorry for Charlie. He was never going to hear the end of this. The libs were going to make his life miserable. But I also thought it was funny as hell.

Posted in satire/humor, Tucker Carlson

A Mob Of Leftists Call For The Lynching Of Tucker Carlson

https://townhall.com/columnists/pauljacob/2018/09/23/the-left-strings-up-tucker-carlson-n2521635

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Carlson posing for his douche award photo.

Tucker Carlson is a Fox News commentator , sexist , race baiter , and a douche. He’s a co-founder and the editor in chief of the tabloid style news site , The Daily Caller.

In 2006 he appeared as a dancer on Dancing With The Stars , despite not really being a star , and in 2015 he appeared on Info Wars proving to everyone just how ridiculous he is by claiming that the Democratic party wants to execute gun owners.

From 2000 to 2005 he was at CNN where he hosted the Spin Room , which was quickly cancelled. In 2001 he was co-host of Cross Fire. He also hosted Tucker Carlson Unfiltered on PBS.

From 2005 to 2008 he was at MSNBC , where he hosted The Situation With Tucker Carlson , which was cancelled after three years.

In 2009 Carlson was hired as a Fox news contributor , made frequent appearances as a guest host on Greg Gutfeld’s unfunny satire show , Red Eye With GG , and occasionally sat in for Hannity. In 2016 he became the host of Tucker Carlson Tonight , which was a mid-season replacement for On The Record.

Recently , Carlson received criticism for a segment he did about changing racial demographics in the United States. Liberals perceived it as racist , but many conservatives came out in Carlson’s defense , complaining that Carlson had been falsely accused ( see above Townhall article ) of racism , that it was nothing more than libtard media political correctness , because libtards are the real racists. All they do is play the race card because of identity politics by supporting minority groups like Black Lives Matter , gays , transgenders , and keeping African-Americans on the Democratic plantation with bribes of food stamps and welfare so they will vote Democrat ( because helping people in time of need is somehow racist ) , as opposed to Republican voter suppression , which affects not only African , but white Americans ( which is somehow , not racist ) , and an obsession with preventing brown people from crossing the border for fear they will infiltrate America and steal everyone’s jobs , leading to the evils of multiculturalism and diversity.

On a recent episode of Carlson Tonight , Carlson told his viewers that leftist mobs were coming to lynch him.

“First it was mobs of angry , intolerant leftists , led by Colin Kaepernick , kneeling in disrespect to our troops and the American flag. Then it was the NRA’s Dana Loesch who was attacked by an intolerant mob of leftists at this years CNN town hall on gun violence , in which she barely escaped with her life. Then again , it was supreme court nominee Brett Kavanaugh who was viciously attacked by leftist mobs of gays , cross dressers , and transgenders , because they didn’t want him on the court , over the questionable testimony of Christine Blasey Ford.

“Now , yours truly is under attack from the same angry , and intolerant leftist crowd of gays , cross dressers , and transgenders. Why , you ask? Good question. I can’t think of a single reason why leftists would want me dead. It’s just in their nature. Leftists are naturally violent. All they know is violence.

“Recently , I did a segment on this show about changing racial demographics that most Americans oppose , and as a result , liberal heads exploded because they couldn’t handle the truth of what I was saying. But they also exploded in anger. After that segment aired , a mob of angry leftists showed up outside these very studios looking to lynch me. They were carrying pitch forks , nooses , tiki torches , and signs that read , Hang The Honky , He Hates Black People , Carlson Is A Sexist Pig , Let’s Roast Him – which , I assume , is what the pitch forks were for – He’s A White Nationalist , Let’s Roast Him For That Too , and Tuck The Cuck , which is absurd , since I am anything but a race traitor , nor am I espousing liberal values. Perhaps they were just making fun of me , who knows.

“Anyway , as I left this building to head home that night , I had to be escorted by security to my car. The leftist mob was waiting to harass and heckle me. They indeed had nooses , pitch forks , and tiki torches too. They chanted roast the pig , roast the Cuck , let’s have bacon and Tuck. I was afraid for my life. I knew if I didn’t get out of there , they were indeed going to roast me like a pig , eat me , and celebrate my death in an orgy of leftist mob frenzy.”

“Tucker is full of s**t ,” an anonymous source who witnessed the ‘mob’ , told the Journal. “The only mob waiting for him were four little old ladies who told him he should be ashamed of himself for being a douche and a putz. And , get this , one of them happened to be a former baby sitter of his , who grabbed him by the ear and said she was telling his mommy what a bad boy he had been.

“Tucker was so triggered by the confrontation that he started crying and begged her not to tell his mommy.”

Posted in satire/humor, save the snowflakes

Save The Snowflakes

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From Social injustice snowflakes on college campuses , to the diaper wearing snowflakes at Turning Point USA : Charlie Kirk , Candace Owens ; the NRA’s Dana Loesch , Dan Bongino , Wayne Lapierre ; Fox News’s Tammy Lawrence , Sean Hannity , Tucker Carlson , Laura Ingraham , Jeanine Pirro ; The Blaze’s , Glenn Beck , Stu ‘The Booger’ Burguiere , Pat Gray ; Prager University’s Dennis ‘the rape of a name is also rape’ Prager ; World Net Daily’s Dr. Gina ‘Trump Is The Sanest Person In The WH’ Loudon , Joseph Farah ; Townhall News , and Rightwing New’s JohnA White Woman Who Voted For Obama Is Like A Black Woman Voting For The KKKHawkins.

From washed up rockers and Hollywood actors , SpongeTed Squishy Pants Nugent ( who once soiled himself to avoid the draft ) , James Woods , Roseanne ‘Ambien Made Me Do It’ Barr , Tim Allen.

From social media , to right-wing media.

From the senate’s Chuckliberals want mob rule’ Grassley , Mitch McConnell , Lindsayfit throwingGraham ; to the White House , conservatives have become an endangered species. They are under attack from politically correct intolerant liberals , who want to silence conservative voices , enforce homosexuality , gun control , single payer health care , transgenderism , socialism , Big Macs , and decide what kind of person should be on the Supreme Court!

Conservatives no longer have a safe space of their own. From college campuses to the steps of Washington DC , they have all been taken over by mobs of socialist , pansy libtards who just can’t get over the fact that Trump won.

Please save the life of one of these delicate snowflakes today , before they become extinct. Make your donation to Save The Snowflakes. Because everyone deserves a safe space , even conservative snowflakes like the above mentioned.

This message paid for by Save The Snowflakes.

Posted in Gina Loudon, satire/humor

Trump Advisory Board Member , ‘Dr. Gina’ , Suffers Bizarre Melt Down During Live Broadcast Of Hannity

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5b90b2a5e4b0162f4729cda2/amp

Dr. Gina’s bizarre melt down on Hannity. “Leave Trump alone , mean liberals!”

Dr. Gina Loudon is a Fox News quack psychologist, who has falsely claimed to have a degree in psychology. She’s written some of the lamest articles ( example here ) for some of the lamest so-called news sites , which include Politichicks , Rightwing News , World Nut Daily , and Breitbart.

Anyone with some common sense , and a bit of decency would be self-conscious of the fact that their name and reputation are associated with one of the sleaziest websites on the internet. But Dr. Gina remains blissfully unaware of that fact. Either that , or she just doesn’t care. To this day , she continues to publish in the aforementioned , including the dumbest of the dumbest , the discredited birther , conspiracy website World Nut Daily , where she continues to outdo her craziness with each new article.

She’s also written a new book – Mad Politics : How To Keep Your Sanity In A World Gone Crazy – which is ironic , since one could easily make the argument based on many of the articles she’s written , that she is severely lacking not only in the intellect department , but the sanity department.

This is a supposed psychologist who once berated the former president in a World Nut Daily article for golfing , executive orders , and vacationing , as signs of psychopathy. But she has remained silent on the current president’s executive orders , and his vacation and golf habits , whom she has laughably praised as a great leader , simply due to the fact that she is a close friend of his.

She never bothered to meet the last president , to get to know him as a human being , however flawed , instead choosing to spread lies and conspiracy theories about him. She was the supposed expert who knew what made Obama tick , and now Trump , but she’s nothing but a partisan hack , playing for a team. Team Trump.

On an episode of Hannity last week , while discussing her latest book Mad Politics , Dr. Gina went into a bizarre melt down , and according to witnesses blamed liberals , Democrats , Obama , and the deep state.

“I’ve always liked Dr. Gina ,” an anonymous witness told the Journal , “even though I think she’s as crazy as a bed bug , and disagree with her on almost everything. Even crazy people can be nice. But despite her questionable state of mind , she’s always seemed to have a level head and has always managed to keep her cool , even when upset. So , when her little outburst occurred , it shocked the hell out of me.”

” ‘Liberals are such whiny little crybabies ,’ ” Dr. Gina said. ‘Say one positive thing about president Trump , like he’s improved the economy all by himself because he’s such a great president , or he’s the sanest president – compared to Obama – and they crumble like the cupcakes they are.”

Sean said ,” ‘That’s right. They literally crumble. And then they literally explode. Kapow! Kaboom.’ He made exploding noises , spittle flying from his mouth.

” ‘That’s right , Sean. They make fun of conservatives and claim we’re the ones who wear diapers because we don’t get our way. But nothing could be further from the truth. Liberals are the diaper wearing crybabies. A perfect example of this was when I tweeted that president Trump is the sanest man to occupy the White House , and that he was an honest and truthful man who even Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck endorsed for president , I was viciously attacked , so I attacked back in the only language liberals clearly understand , by tweeting , the country’s greater than it’s ever been. Trump is MAGA! Obama sucks. But Trump is mean! Waaaaahhhhhh! I included some crybaby 😭😭😭 emojis to show what whiny babies they are , followed by , can we just move on now? But liberals aren’t the least bit interested in moving on , Sean. Now that Trump is president and is making America great again , they just want to kick and scream and throw temper tantrums because they would rather America not be great again , which really pisses me off , Sean. They want to pretend that it was already great , just so they can have an excuse to attack him.’

Hannity said , ” ‘I agree , Dr. Gina , but wasn’t it Obama who was endorsed by Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck , and if I’m not mistaken , most of the Disney crew?’

” ‘How should I know , Sean? All I know is , liberals are so mean I just want to scream in frustration.’

“Which she did , startling not only me but everyone in the studio.

” ‘I’m sorry , Sean , I’m just so pissed off. Can’t they see he’s the greatest president who ever lived?’

“With each question her voice rose higher until she was nearly screaming.

‘Can’t they see what he’s done for the economy? Can’t they see how honest and loyal , and truthful he is? Can’t they see he never lies , like Obama , who lied all the time? Can’t they see they have Trump derangement syndrome because they can’t get under his skin? Can’t they see how sane he is because he knows how great he is? And can’t they see how sane I am too , because I know how great he is , and because I’m humble , know history , and stay informed!’

“Sean asked her if she was alright.

” ‘I’m alright , Sean.’ She plucked a tissue from the dispenser between her and Sean and proceeded to cry , dabbing at the corners of her eyes.

” ‘It’s so unfair , Sean ‘, she cried. ‘Why are liberals so mean to him? Conservatives weren’t mean to Obama. President Trump hasn’t done anything for them to treat him this way!’

“She put her head in her arms and started bawling. ‘Waaaaahaaahaaa! Waaaaahaaahaaa!’

Her shoulders heaved with each haha. Sean had this surprised , startled look on his face like he didn’t know what to do. We were all surprised , startled , and didn’t know what to do , except watch in fascination as she made a spectacle of herself.

“Her blubbering lasted perhaps almost thirty seconds , her shoulders continuing to heave with each haha. Then she looked up. Her makeup was smudged and runny with her tears. I blinked in shock at how ridiculous she looked. We all did. And before I knew it , she was on the floor , rolling around , blubbering and crying and kicking and pounding her fists like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

“The moment she hit the floor , Sean snapped out of his shock , making quick cutting motions. ‘Cut the cameras! Cut the cameras!’

“The cameras were cut. But the damage had already been done. This wasn’t going to look good for Sean Hannity , having one of his guests melt down on live television. It was the third incident here in less than a month. It would be interesting to see how he handled it.

“After the cameras had been cut , Sean helped Dr. Gina to her feet. She seemed to have been all cried out. Her makeup looked runnier and even more smudged , and her hair was all mussed up. She looked absolutely ridiculous. All she needed was a tall pointy hat , a broom stick and a black dress , and she would be ready to go trick or treating.

“She was also clearly embarrassed. ‘I don’t know what possessed me to behave that way ,’ she said.

” ‘It’s not your fault Dr. Gina ,’ Sean said. ‘I believe it was liberal , Obama , Democrat , deep state derangement syndrome.’

” ‘You know , Sean , I think you’re right ,’ she said , and they both laughed.”

Posted in John Hawkins, satire/humor

How Barack Obama Ruined America And Was the Worst President Ever – Part 4

If you talk to liberals on a daily basis like I do , you will quickly realize how stupid they are. They believe the stupidest things : God isn’t real , global warming is real , the birth certificate is also real , Trump is not making America great again , and Barack Obama was the greatest president who ever lived.

This shows you how clueless liberals are. They live in their own universe. There is no hope for them.

If the following list doesn’t convince you how stupid liberals are , and that Barack Obama was the worst president who ever lived , then you’ve obviously been brainwashed by the lame stream liberal media , and there is also no hope for you.

Selfie Gate : There were many shocking scandals during Obama’s reign of tyranny , some of the worst being , having critics of his excessive vacations and golf outings , permanently silenced. But this scandal is probably his most heinous. When Obama took a selfie with the Boston Red Sox first baseman David ‘Big Pappy’ Ortiz , it was proof that he hated white people and was planning on starting a race war. When that war will be carried out , God only knows. But God knows Big Pappy will be there to fight by his – Obama’s – side. Which was the purpose for the selfie , to recruit Pappy as his general in the war.

Skeet Gate : Here’s one scandal that had me genuinely confused when I heard about it. A 2013 photo of Obama shooting a shot-gun!? Could it be? Was it true? Was the forty-fourth president of the United States a real man who liked to shoot guns like a real American , or a sissy-boy , mom jeans wearing wimp who wilted like a pansy at the sight of a gun?

On closer inspection of the photo , I noticed he was indeed wearing mom jeans , and came to the conclusion that it was fake , a cheap photo shop to make Obama look a real man , not a mom jeans wearing , weak kneed sissy-boy who wilted like a pansy at the sight of a gun , like he really was.

Mars Gate : Obama traveled to the red planet in his youth ,via a DARPA program , where he learned to be a tyrannical America hating , mom jeans wearing dictator.

Baseball Gate : Another failed attempt to make Obama look like a man , instead of the mom jeans wearing , sissy-boy pansy he really was , and is.

Jogging Gate : This one confirmed what conservatives had always suspected , that Obama — and Biden – was always gay. Why else would two grown men run on the White House lawn? For exercise? No , most likely they were having an affair and they didn’t want Michelle – who is really a man – to find out. When they finished their jogging , or whatever they were really doing , they both put their mom jeans back on.

And those are five more ways Obama ruined America and was the worst president ever.

Posted in president Trump, satire/humor

Democrats Propose Legislation To Build A Wall Around President Trump

An artists rendition  of Trump Tower 2

Democrats in the senate have come up with an idea they’ve been considering since before president Trump took office. To troll the president by proposing legislation to build a wall around him , and have his supporters and Republicans pay for it.

Throughout his 2016 campaign , president Trump said he would build a wall along the southern border and have Mexico pay for it. But as of 2018 nothing has come of it and many of his supporters have given up hope of seeing it come to fruition.

“We’ve been wanting to do this since 2016 , since president Trump started babbling about his ridiculous wall ,” senator Elizabeth Warren told CNN’s Erin Burnett. “It actually makes more sense than a border wall , which is too idiotic to even consider and would cost taxpayers billions. But this would be a hell of a lot more economically feasible , and would literally cost only a few hundred.”

“I have to admit that it sounds interesting in theory ,” Burnett said. “But it could never be done. President Trump would never allow anyone to build a wall around him.”

The following day , a small crowd of less than one hundred gathered outside the White House , chanting , ‘Build…the… wall! Build…the…wall! Some carried signs that read , Build The Wall … Around Trump , Mexico Will Pay For It. Other signs read , Build A Wall Around Trump Supporters! Mexico Will Pay For That Too!

Watching the CNN interview with senator Warren , and the protest on Fox , his favorite news channel , president Trump tweeted :

Saw the ridiculous interview with senator Pocahontas on CNN with Erin Burnett talking about building a wall around me and forcing my supporters to pay for it. Totally fake news!!

Also saw my supporters on Fox News outside the White House offering to build a great magnificent wall around me and my wonderful supporters to protect us , while Mexico pays for it. Totally real news!! The most trusted name in news. Thank you Mexico. Really looking forward to that wall! Already thought of a name for it : Trump Tower 2. Everyone’s invited to the grand opening!

Posted in Jeanine Pirro, satire/humor

Crazy Fox News Commentator , Jeanine Pirro , Removed From Live Broadcast A Second Time In Straight Jacket

Jeanine http://www.joemygod.com/2018/09/16/jeanine-pirro-democrats-are-a-pack-of-demon-rats

Crazy Jeanine is back!

Just weeks after being released from a New York mental health facility , Jeanine Pirro was back to her old tricks again at Fox New , ranting about the Democrats and their deep state connections to topple the greatest president America has ever known , demonstrating to the world how bat s**t crazy she is , and that she never should have been released in the first place.

Several weeks ago , the crazy host of Justice With Judge Jeanine went off the deep end during an anti Obama/Netflix rant , in which she accused the popular streaming service of corroborating with the Obama’s to spread socialism.

This latest incident occurred on her September 15th broadcast during an unhinged rant against Dianne Feinstein and other Democrats over the alleged sexual misconduct of Republican supreme court nominee , Brett Kavanaugh.

According to eye witnesses , this incident was more disturbing than her last outburst.

“During the last couple of weeks , since that last incident , Jeanine seemed no crazier than usual ,” one witness , who wished to remain anonymous , told the Journal. “Jeanine’s always been opinionated , especially about politics , even though it’s clear to anyone who is moderately well-informed , that she’s more often than not , full of s**t. And if you ever tell her she’s full of s**t , then you better watch out. Jeanine doesn’t take kindly to anyone telling her she’s full of s**t. I once made the mistake of telling her she was full of s**t, and I instantly regretted it. I won’t go into details , but suffice to say , my ears have been ringing ever since. I won’t make that mistake again!”

“Jeanine was fine until after we taped her opening statement ,” said the director of the show , who also requested anonymity. “As we were heading into break , that’s when everything literally went off the rails on a crazy train.

“You could tell she was still angry. She was absolutely fuming , muttering to herself , referring to senator Feinstein as that crazy ass bitch , under her breath. She also had this crazy , insane look in her eyes. I asked her if she was alright to continue the segment. I wanted her to at least calm down a bit before she went back on. But asking Jeanine to calm down was like asking a puppy not to pee on a carpet. When Jeanine got angry , she seldom calmed down. There was always hell to pay , and you’d best stay out of her way when she got angry. Some of us learned that lesson the hard way.

“For a moment she just stared at me, as if I had just told her to shut up. Her eyes nearly bugged from their sockets. Then her face started twitching , while making theses strange clicking sounds. Saliva drooled from the corners of her mouth.

“I’d seen these types of facial expressions in stroke victims in my younger days as a nurses aide , and I wondered if she might be having a stroke or something.

” ‘I don’t need to calm down ,’ she screamed, and then shoved me , though not hard enough to knock me over. ‘All I need is for Feinstein , and her pack of Demonrats – yes , I said Demonrats – Kamala Harris , Cory Booker , and the king Demonrat himself , Obama , all with their beady little eyes and their chomping little teeth , to stop pestering president Trump and the FBI to investigate judge Kavanaugh!’

“We had less than a minute before going back on the air , so I told her to calm down.

” ‘I don’t need to calm down!’ she screamed again. She shoved me once again , this time hard enough to knock me flat on my ass. She jumped on top of me , grabbed handfuls of her hair , and screaming in a fit of rage , pulled them out by the roots.

” ‘Don’t tell me to calm down , damn it! I can’t stand it when people tell me to calm down!’

“She was so angry I thought she might actually kill me for telling her to calm down. Drool dripped in my face.

“The moment she shoved me a second time , someone called security. He had to pull her off me. No one else wanted to go near her. She refused to calm down , so the guard was forced to restrain her in hand cuffs.

” ‘How dare you hand cuff me!’ she said. ‘Don’t you know who know who I am? I’m going to be the next Attorney General! Ask president Trump! He said so! Let me go , God damn it!’

“Security called the police. She was arrested for assault , and then once again two men from the funny farm arrived , gave her a shot of Thorazine and restrained her in a straight jacket.

“As they restrained her , she cried out , ‘Put down the rat traps , ma! The Demonrats are coming for judge Kavanaugh! We can’t let ’em get ‘im!’

“Struggling weakly and grinning like the Cheshire Cat , from the effect of the Thorazine, she cried out again , ‘Did you put out the rat traps , ma?! Put down some cheese too! That’ll teach the little bastards not to mess with the judge!’

“As I watch them carry her out , cackling like an old hen , I couldn’t help but wonder what possessed the producers of her show to allow her to continue with it. If it were up to me , I would have fired her and cancelled it after the last time. Only time will tell if they wise up and give her the boot.

I also couldn’t help thinking how ridiculous she looked in that straight jacket , with that idiotic grin , and several glaring bald spots on her scalp. I would have found it hilarious if I hadn’t found the whole thing so depressing.

“I always knew Jeanine was a little crazy , but not bat crap insane. I guess the Mueller investigation must have driven her off the deep end.”