Posted in Dana Loesch, satire

Dana Loesch : Leftist Mobs May Attempt To Beat Up MAGA Supporters And Replace Their Hats With Obama , Bernie , And Hillary Hats ,To Frame Conservatives As Violent Extremists

https://www.inquisitr.com/5131361/nra-spokeswoman-dana-loesch-suggests-supporters-will-need-to-bring-guns-to-vote/

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Dana Loesch clutching her gun , when she’s not clutching her pearls over leftist mobs.

NRA spokesperson Dana Loesch revealed earlier this week on her show on NRA TV that liberals may attempt to intimidate NRA supporters who bring their guns to the voting polls because liberals are violent.

Loesch is no stranger to controversy , or saying stupid s**t. In fact , like any troll , she seems to enjoy it. She is best known for her advocating of curb stomping journalists she perceives as biased , and her awful , fascist style videos depicting liberal protesters as angry , rampaging mobs hell-bent on destroying democracy.

Loesch also made the bizarre claim that no one on the right has done anything close to a Bernie bro style attack , like shooting up a congressional ball field or throwing rocks through someone’s windows , or attacking and assaulting someone with different campaigns.

It would appear that Dana has been living quietly under a rock , not to be aware of the many cases of right-wing lunatics who have gone on shooting sprees. Nikolas Cruz , who murdered seventeen of his fellow students at Stoneman Douglas High School earlier this year ; Dylann Roof , who shot up a church of African-American parishioners ; the Colorado Planned Parenthood shooter , Robert Dear , who was inspired by anti Planned Parenthood propaganda ; the Pizzagate shooter who was inspired by anti Clinton conspiracies peddled by the likes of Alex Jones ; Amanda and Jerad Miller , both anti government wing nuts who shot three Las Vegas police officers. And this past Friday , a white supremacist killing eleven in a Jewish synagogue in Pittsburg , are several worth mentioning.

Liberals and progressives are not radicalized by their ideology to pick up AR-15’s and shoot up churches , synagogues , and public schools. The same cannot be said about conservative ideology. But tell that to a die-hard liberal hating conservative and they’ll either make up a ton of BS to prove you a lying libtard , or repeat the Steve Scalise shooting and the afore-mentioned examples as definitive proof that leftist ideology is inherently more violent. Liberal ideology is acceptance and tolerance of others , conservative ideology is the opposite.

Southern Poverty Law Center has documented hundreds of cases of members of anti government , Sovereign Citizens , and white supremacist groups committing violence , involved in mass shootings or other forms of attacks on African , Jewish , Muslim Americans , and police officers.

Dana is either being disingenuous , or is genuinely stupid. My guess would be a bit of both.

Earlier this week , Loesch appeared on Hannity to claim that liberals may attempt to beat up Trump supporters , replace their MAGA hats with Obama , Bernie , and Hillary hats , all in an effort to frame conservatives as violent.

“We know it’s liberals who are violent , Sean , not conservatives , ” Dana said. “And we’ve witnessed that violence quite a bit lately , what with the Kavanaugh hearing , when leftist mobs gathered to destroy the reputation of one man who was obviously framed by a radical feminist , and also where mobs of one to three liberals have gone into restaurants to harass Republican senators and throw out their food because they didn’t like what they were eating , or snatch the hats off the heads of Trump supporters while screaming obscenities at them , like calling them MAGAT heads or something.”

“Or put a MAGA supporters fist in their face at one of his rallies and claim that president Trump encourages violence ,” Hannity said. “Or Trump haters literally beating each other up and claiming him and his supporters are violent.”

“That’s right , Sean. But what worries me most about the leftist mob , is this disturbing trend of violence we’ve seen directed at conservatives , like the violent rhetoric that led to the shooting of Steve Scalise , Maxine Waters telling people to get in the face of Republicans , and Eric Holder telling the leftist mob to kick conservatives. This is a trend that I’ve been warning conservatives about for some time , Sean , in fact since the Steve Scalise shooting by a Bernie Bro. Things are only going to get worse with liberals becoming more and more unhinged , and I’m afraid it’s going to escalate in a final culmination of violence. I believe that in the next few weeks , leading up to , and after the mid terms , we may see liberals becoming so desperate that they may start beating Trump supporters , replace their MAGA hats with Obama , Hillary , and Bernie hats , and then blame the violence on conservatives , just as they’ve blamed the so-called MAGA bomber on president Trump and the right , so they can then say something like , look the victim was wearing a Obama , Hillary , or Bernie Bro hat , so the shooter must have been a MAGA supporter. I even said this on twitter , Sean , and it was met with some of the most vicious attacks by unhinged leftists.”

“We’ve got the tweet on-screen , ” Hannity said , “along with the hateful , vicious response from the left , with the filthy language blacked out.”

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Dems and leftist mobs are getting desperate. With mid terms coming up , leftist mobs may resort to violence. Like attempting to beat up MAGA supporters and replace their hats with Obama , Hillary , and Bernie hats , just to make conservatives look bad? Just asking. Vote Republican!
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When conservatives aren’t clutching their pearls over leftist mobs and migrant caravans , their heads are in their r**r e**s. Liberals have no interest in stealing MAGA hats from Trump supporters , much less beat them up. If there is any violence , it will be from MAGA supporters when Dems take back the House in November. Vote Justice Democrat!

“This is the kind of violent rhetoric I’m talking about , Sean. Conservatives can’t even ask a legitimate question on twitter without the leftist mob calling for their heads.”

“Shocking. Just shameful behavior. It’s just as bad as shooting a gun. They may as well just shoot us all. But about your tweet , I can understand wanting to shoot Trump supporters and blaming them to make them look violent , but why would they want to steal the MAGA hats of Trump supporters and replace them with Obama , Bernie , and Hillary Hats?”

“To frame conservatives as violent , radical extremists , Sean.”

“That makes sense ,” Hannity said. “My God. Stealing MAGA hats and replacing them with Obama , Hillary , and Bernie hats , is literally encouraging mob rule. It’s worse than the mob that gathered outside the senate the day of the Kavanaugh hearing.”

“That’s right , Sean. But what’s worse than liberals beating up Trump supporters and replacing their MAGA hats with Obama , Bernie , and Hillary hats , will be when they start showing up at Trump rallies , beat up his supporters , and replace their MAGA hats with Obama , Hillary , and Bernie hats.”

Posted in Alex Jones, Ann-Marie Murrell, Morgan Brittany, satire, Victoria Jackson

To Serve Obama Again , A Sequel : Obama Still Wants To Eat Your Kids!

Alex Jones’s ‘how did I get stuck with these kooks , crackpots , wackos , and fruitcakes?’ face.

From the Alex Jones radio show June 9 , 2017 – 

“Welcome to the show ladies and gentlemen. I’m Alex Jones , your host for the number one show in Texas , America , and around the world. I bring you the truth , and nothing but the truth , the truth that the main stream communist liberal news media won’t bring you because it’s controlled by George Soros , the biggest communist liberal in the world.

“I have three kooks on today’s show. One’s been here once or twice before. She’s even more of a  kook than the other two. She’s also crackpot , a wacko , and a fruitcake. She’s written several wacked out books about Barack Obama , including Obama And His Evil Twin Julio Want To Sacrifice Your Kids With Planned Parenthood , and Obama And His Evil Twin Julio The Mole Want To Kill My Granny With Obama Care. Like I said , she’s a real kook , crackpot , a wacko , and a fruitcake.  

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Smart , intelligent Conservative women , Victoria , Ann-Marie , and Morgan trying to convince Alex Jones that Obama still wants to eat their kids.

“My other two guests are Ann-Marie Murrell , and Morgan Brittany. I’m not sure if they’ve been here before or not , but they’ve also written some wacked out books about Obama , because besides being known as kooks , they’re also crackpots , wackos , and fruitcakes. Those books include , The Truth About B. O. And All Kinds Of Other Stuff , and I Was Attacked By B.O. Zombies That Tried To Eat My Brain , the latter which the three of them wrote together. And in case you’re wondering , ladies and gentlemen , those are not the titles of books about zombies with Body odor. Their latest book is  , To Serve Obama Again , A Sequel : Obama Still Wants To Eat Your Kids! has got to be the kookiest one yet. But I’m sure their next book will be even more kooky.    

“Welcome to the show , ladies.”

Ann-Marie : “Thanks for inviting us , Alex.”

Morgan : “I’m pretty sure we haven’t been here before.”

Alex : “Whatever.”

Victoria : “Did you invite us here just to make fun us , Alex?”

Alex : “You said it , not me. Let’s talk about the new book. Why would -“

Victoria : “Did you read it?”

Alex : “Why would I want to do that?”

Victoria : “Oh , I don’t know , maybe to know what it’s about.”

Alex : “I don’t have to read it to know it’s a piece of  – I mean something only a kook would write – in this case , three kooks – and something only a kook – or in this case , plural , kooks , your fans – would be interested in reading. The title itself tells me it’s got to be the kookiest book ever written. Why would -“

Victoria : “Gee , thanks for the great review , Alex.”

Alex : “You’re welcome. Now why would -“

Victoria : So , you still don’t believe his mole is the anti-Christ?”

Alex : “Of course not , it’s insane.”

Morgan : “You don’t believe Obama zombies tried to eat our brains?”

Alex : “How can they eat something that isn’t there to begin with?”

Victoria : “You don’t believe he still wants to kill my granny with Obama Care?”

Alex : “Obama Care doesn’t exist anymore!”

Victoria : “You don’t believe Julio helped him steal the elections , and that I cried and I cried when it happened?”

Ann-Marie : “Yeah , and all kinds of other stuff!”

Morgan : Yeah , like Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , ACORN , the homeless , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead?”

Alex : “ACORN , the homeless , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead may have been involved , but to claim Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck were involved , only a genuinely crazy person would believe that.”

Victoria : “You don’t believe he’s still taking too many vacations?”

Alex : “What does any of this have to do with -“

Morgan : “Or that he’s still playing too much golf?”

Alex : “Why should I care about his vacations or golfing , he’s -“

Ann-Marie : “And you don’t believe he still wants to steal everyone’s guns?”

Victoria : “Or that he shredded a copy of the constitution and used the shavings as a salad topping?”

Alex : “What does any of this have to do with -“

Victoria : “You don’t believe he went to Mars to train for his tyrannical dictatorship of America , or that he’s a cross dressing lizard queen from planet Zork?”

Morgan : “And tried to infect us all with Ebola?”

Alex : “Alright , hold on. Just hold on! What does any of this have to do with the book?”

Victoria : “It has everything to do with it , Alex. If you don’t believe any of these facts , then you don’t believe he still wants to eat your kids.”

Ann-Marie : “And all kinds of other stuff!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in John Hawkins, satire

Ridiculous Things Liberals Believe Are Real ( Or Why Liberals Are Loons ) … Part 1

aviary-photo_131293155154534512Liberals. Can’t live with them , can’t live without them. If we could , we wouldn’t be able to make fun of them. And God knows I love to make fun of liberals , because they’re so loony , but they haven’t got a clue as to how loony they are. To prove just how loony liberals really are , I’ve made another one my brilliant lists. Here are the first ten.

1) Liberals think they know everything. Liberals pride themselves on knowledge , but when it comes to actual knowledge , liberals don’t really know anything. All they really are is know-nothings who believe they’re better than everyone else. Conservatives are actually more intelligent , and know a lot more than your average liberal. It’s a known fact. Studies have proved it.

2) Liberals believe Bert And Ernie are a real gay couple. Liberals believe the Sesame Street characters Bert and Ernie are a gay couple.

3) Liberals believe the moon is made of green cheese. Everyone knows the moon is a natural satellite of Earth. That is , everyone but liberals. They actually believe it to consist of some type of cheese , Munster , Cheddar , or Limburger , or any number of varieties.

4) Liberals believe in global warming. They believe the Earth is growing warmer , despite all of the evidence to the contrary. The Earth is actually getting colder.

5) Liberals believe evolution is real. Like global warming , there is no evidence to support this theory. All existing species today were created by God six thousand years ago. It says so in the Bible. What’s more believable? A scientific theory that can’t be proven , or God , who can be proven?

6) Liberals believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. One of the more ridiculous beliefs among liberals is that of a tentacled deity made entirely of pasta. Adherents to this belief refer to themselves as Pastafarians.

7) Liberals believe in the Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy , but not Santa Claus. These two fairy tales are fine for children , but grown adults who believe in them , are just as ridiculous as the Pastafarians.

8) Liberals believe in the Cookie Monster. Another Sesame seed Street character liberals believe is based on a real person.

9) Liberals believe rocks make great pets. 

10) Liberals believe atheism can be proven. 

And there you have it. The first ten reasons liberals are loons because they believe in the most ridiculous nonsense.

Posted in Glen Beck, Pat Gray, satire, Stu Burguiere, Tomi Lahren

What Barack Obama Really Wants : Obama Wants To Eat Your Guns

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Tomi warning her audience that Obama is a dangerous Muslim who will take everyone’s guns away and eat them , because he’s also a communist , and communists like to eat guns , among other things.

If you’ve been following social media this past year , then chances are you are familiar with Tomi Lahren. Tomi is a conservative wing nut commentator employed by Glenn Beck at his network The Blaze. She is best known for her loud and opinionated , fact free rants , sparking controversy as she did recently with her ridiculous and laughable criticism of president Obama as being soft on radical Muslim terrorists ; her equally ridiculous criticisms of Black Lives Matter , referring to them as a violent and racist movement worse than the KKK , and her bigoted rhetoric that all Muslims are basically terrorists. 

Like all conservative wing nuts , she’s certain that the only racism in American is racism against white people , who have been victimized by the Black Lives Matter movement ,  that they are working hand in hand with the Muslim Brotherhood to overthrow the United States government ; that the Clinton’s have left a long trail of dead political enemies ; that Barack Obama is a Muslim responsible for dividing America , has an anti-police ideology – he supposedly incited the violence that caused the deaths of the Dallas police officers – and wants to steal guns from law-abiding citizens. None of this has literally happened.

In her first book , White People : The New Victims Of Racism In The Age Of Obama , Tomi claimed that white people are being systematically beaten , lynched and burned alive by members of the Black Lives Matter movement , because they are now the new KKK and hate white people. In her latest book , What Barack Obama Really Wants : Obama Wants To Eat Your Guns , she claims Obama not only wants to , but will definitely steal everyone’s guns before he leaves office , and he will eat them too. 

She made another recent appearance on the Glenn Beck Radio Show to inform Glenn and his audience that Obama , whom she often refers to as Barry , was planning  something so big in the coming weeks that would prove to Conservatives and liberals alike just how evil he really is.

Glenn: “In your new book , you claim Obama is planning a big event that will take everyone by surprise.” 

Tomi: “That’s right , Glenn. Though not everyone will be that surprised. Most people who know the truth about Barry , suspect he will do something , they just don’t agree on what that something is. Some believed he would suspend the elections , even though it didn’t happen. Some still believe he will declare martial law before president Trump’s inauguration , declaring himself king and emperor , and then round-up law-abiding  patriots and their guns and throw them in prison camps. Conservatives , that is. Not guns. He has other plans for everyone’s guns.”

Glenn: “What do you think  he has planned?”

Tomi: “For their guns?”

Glenn: “In general.”

Tomi : “What do you mean? What’s in general?”

Glenn: ” I mean , his overall plan. What does he plan to do?”

Tomi: He plans on rounding up all law-abiding patriots , take their guns away , and throw them all in prison camps , because he’s a communist who supports Black Lives Matter because he’s a racist who hates white people , especially guns.”

Glenn: “How does he plan on doing that?”

Tomi: “It’s really not that hard to figure out. He hates America , because he’s a communist who supports Black Lives Matter because he’s a racist and hates white people and guns so it’s inevitable that he will round-up all law-abiding patriots take their guns away and throw them all in prison camps because he hates white people and guns. I believe the only way he can do this is with the support of Black Lives Matter which is a racist terrorist hate group the New Black Panthers which is also a racist terrorist hate group and all of his brain-dead supporters who are also racists and terrorists.”

Glenn: “When you say prison camps , do you mean Fema camps? Because there’s really no evidence they exist. They were debunked right here at The Blaze.”

Stu: “Alex Jones has been promoting them for years.”

Pat: “Yeah , that guy is one serious wackadoodle.”

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Glenn’s co-hosts arguing whether Pat ( center ) is as crazy as Alex Jones.

Stu: “Yeah. He not only believes in Fema camps , but the New World Order , what ever the hell that is , and the Illuminati conspiracy , whatever the hell that is. I wouldn’t be surprised if he also believed in the Tooth Fairy , the Easter Bunny , Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs , Tinkerbell , and Santa Claus.”

Pat: “believe in Santa Claus. He’s a real person. His name is Kris Kringle. Are you saying I’m crazy too?”

Stu: ( Smiling ) “You said it , not me.”

Pat: “So , I’m crazy because I believe in Santa Claus?”

Stu: ( Still smiling ) “No , you’re just crazy. Period.

Pat: “Are you saying you don’t believe in Santa Claus anymore?”

Stu: “Look , I still believe in Santa. I was just pointing out how crazy he is. Alex Jones , that is.”

Pat: “He is crazy. Because he probably does believe in the Tooth Fairy , and the Easter Bunny. The Tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny are fairy tales. But Santa Claus is real. There’s actual proof , evidence that he exists.”

Stu: “There’s no evidence that he exists.”

Pat: “I thought you believed in him.”

Stu: “I do , but not as a real person.”

Pat: So , you do think I’m crazy.”

Glenn: ( Raising his voice ) “Back to what Tomi was saying. Do you believe in Fema camps? Because they were debunked here not too long ago.”

Tomi: “I don’t know much about Fema camps , Glenn. But I do know that Barry will round-up all law-abiding conservative gun owners – because he’s a communist and a racist who hates white people – with the help of Black Lives Matter who are a racist terrorist hate group and the Black Panthers who are also a racist terrorist hate group and his brainless zombie supporters who are also a racist terrorist hate group and then he will round-up all their guns and then they will cook them in  a huge bonfire in front of the White House because communists love to eat guns among other things. But they love to eat guns most of all.”

 

Posted in Barack Obama, satire

Republicans Finally Admit They Don’t Like Obama Because He’s Black

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Washington DC – Republicans have been denying for years that their extreme dislike of president Obama has everything to do with his policies and nothing else. But yesterday some Republicans admitted that wasn’t entirely true.

“Of course some of us don’t like president Obama because he’s black ,” Former presidential candidate and governor of Arkansas , Mike Huckabee , told the Washington Post. “But it has nothing to do with race , or his Muslim name. It has everything to do with how he’s destroying America with Obama Care , giving everyone free socialized healthcare , and allowing gays to marry each other and their horses.”

Former presidential candidate and governor of Alaska , Sarah Palin told MSNBC , “Obama’s been complaining for years that people don’t like him because he’s black. And for years we’ve been saying he should go back to Kenya where he was born. He’s the racist.”

On his radio show on The Blaze Network , Glen Beck said , “Barack Obama hasn’t faced any bigotry! We have. Obama has kept black people on his plantation for eight years , giving them welfare , food stamps , Obama phones , photographs , and all kinds of free goodies. There are no white people on his plantation. He’s the real racist.”

During an episode of The O’Reilly Factor earlier this week , Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump  , on a short break from the campaign trail , told Bill O’Reilly it was time to admit the truth about the Republican Party.

“They’re all a bunch of racists ,” Trump admitted. “They may as well be wearing white robes and hoods , it’s so obvious.”

When O’Reilly pointed out Trump’s own involvement in the birther conspiracy , and that he had earlier this year denied knowing who David Duke was , Trump said ,”I never said Obama was born in Kenya , and I still don’t know who David Duke is. They’re the racists , not me.”

Posted in satire, Tomi Lahren

Angry White Girl Suffers Aneurysm On Live Television , Blames Obama , Democrats , Liberals , And Black Lives Matter

Dallas – Conservative pundit Tomi Lahren , host of Final Thoughts on The Blaze Network , suffered a minor aneurysm today. The feisty commentator  , best known for her silly rants against liberals , blacks , president Obama , and Black Lives Matter , was well into one of her tirades concerning Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton , when she suddenly collapsed.

Ms. Lahren was rushed to Dallas Medical Center where it was determined that she had suffered a minor stroke.  According to hospital officials , no lasting damage had been done but she was advised to stay in bed for a couple of weeks , and to avoid getting upset as much as possible.

“Asking Tomi not to get upset is like asking the Pope not to wear a hat ,” Glen Beck said , the following day on his show. “Obama , liberals , and Black Lives Matter drive her crazy. There’s just no way she can avoid getting upset.  I don’t believe it’s possible. If she doesn’t kill herself next time , she may wind up becoming a vegetable. What kind of vegetable , remains to be seen. Stu , what kind of vegetable would best describe Tomi?”

“I’m thinking walnut?” Stu Burguiere said. “Because she looks tough to crack on the outside. But on the inside she’s more like a tomato , because she gets easily pissed off , and tomatoes are soft and squishy?”

“I think walnuts are fruits ,” Glen said.

Picking his nose , Pat Gray said , “I’m going with zucchini. I’ve always thought she looks like a zucchini.”

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Angry white girl , Tomi Lahren , on The Blaze shortly before becoming a zucchini.

Despite doctors orders  , less than a week later Ms. Lahren was back on set , tearing into the liberal left.

“For those of you who missed last weeks Final Thoughts , I had a minor stroke. And you know whose fault it was? That’s right , it was the fault of all the people who just can’t let things heal in America!

“That’s right. It’s your fault Barry! If you could pull yourself  off the golf course long enough to finally do something about ISIS and other terrorists once and for all , America would be a safer place for all of us!

“It’s your fault Democrats! If you weren’t so busy kissing Hillary’s ass , and dumping on Trump , America would indeed be great again!

“It’s your fault liberals! If you all weren’t so worried about being offended about everything , we might be able to have a normal conversation!

“And last , but certainly not least , it’s your fault Black Lives Matter! If you people would just stop making me so mad , shut up about racism , and stop complaining about getting shot by police officers , this never would have happened!”

Pounding a fist on the desk , she concluded her tirade with , “It’s all your fault!” Then her eyes widened slightly and she attempted to speak again , but the words were gibberish. Saliva dribbled slowly down her chin , and her head pitched forward  onto her desk.

Once again Ms. Lahren was rushed to Dallas Medical center , where she was later pronounced a zucchini.

Posted in satire, Ted Nugent

American Veterans Declare Ted Nugent Their Enemy

 

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Americas veterans declare Uncle Ted the enemy.

AP-  Today a spokesperson for a coalition of American veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars made the announcement that they know the real reason why veterans are committing suicide.

Recently , Nugent made the claim that president Obama was responsible for suicides of Americas veterans. That claim raised the ire of veterans all over America , prompting the group American Veterans Against Ted Poopy Pants Nugent to condemn the Motor City Madman’s mouth diarrhea.

In an interview with MSNBC , the group’s spokesman Moe Flem said , “Ted represents the ultimate bad boy , the ultimate patriotic American who speaks his mind and takes no prisoners. But in  reality it’s all just a facade. He’s nothing more than a wolf in sheep’s clothing. In other words , a coward playing the role of a fake patriot. He’s a bully , talks tough , has a foul mouth , but he’s just a pussy , a pansy , a chicken hawk. He surrounds himself with guns , shoots defenseless animals , threatens to shoot immigrants , black people , the president , liberals , and has accused those who hate him , of hating America.

“Ted thinks he knows Americas veterans , ” Flem continued. “That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. Someone who’s never served a day of his life in uniform , thinks he knows how they feel! He thinks he knows why they commit suicide! Because they know the enemy is Barack Obama , he said. No veteran would ever tell him that , and he knows it. The real reason they commit suicide is because Ted is full of crap , literally full of crap. Ted is the real enemy. They commit suicide because they know he’s nothing more than a loud mouthed , gun-toting , un-American , draft dodging , pants pooping , treasonous coward.”