Posted in Alex Jones, Katie Pavlich, satire/humor, Victoria Jackson

Bike Gate : Barack Obama’s Sixth Bloodiest Scandal : How Obama Smuggled Drugs To Mexican Drug Cartels In American Bicycles , Because He Hates Bicycles Like He Hates Guns And Wants To Outlaw Them Like He Wants To Outlaw Guns

aviary-photo_131272552481662238
The King of kooks , crackpots , wackos , and fruitcakes.

From the Alex Jones Radio Show , December 26 , 2016 – 

“Welcome to the show , ladies and gentlemen. I’m Alex Jones , your host for the number one show in Texas and around the world.  

“We have two guests on today’s show. One is supposed to be a well-respected journalist who is the editor-in-chief for Town Hall.com , and a regular contributor to the Fox News channel. She’s written articles for Red State , and World Net Daily , which is one of the most credible sites on the internet in my opinion.  She’s written such gems as Golf Gate , and Vacation Gate , exposing Obama’s fascination with playing too much golf and taking too many vacations. She’s also written the definitive book on the Fast And Furious scandal ,  Barack Obama’s Bloodiest Scandal And It’s Shameless Cover Up. Her name is Katie Pavlich.

“My other guest isn’t so well-respected. In fact , she’s a well-known kook , crackpot , wacko , and an all around fruitcake. She’s also written some books about Obama , some of them so insane you would have to be just as much of a kook , a crackpot , wacko , and an all around fruitcake as she is , to read them and take them seriously. And believe me , every one of her fans are kooks , crackpots , wackos , and all around fruitcakes , because they do read them and take them seriously. Her name is Victoria Jackson , and together they’ve written a new book which is scheduled to be published next year by Obama Hates America Publishers.

Victoria : “Jeez , thanks a lot , Alex. I really appreciate the introduction.”

Alex : “You’re welcome , Victoria. Katie , what I can’t understand is why you chose to do a book with Victoria Jackson , a well-known kook , crackpot , wacko , and an all around fruitcake. I mean , what were you thinking? Weren’t you worried that people would also think you were a kook , a crackpot , a wacko , and a fruitcake?”

Katie : “Not really , Alex. She’s written some credible books exposing Barack Obama as the fraud that he is , so – “

Alex : “Name one.”

Katie : “Well , how about How Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , Acorn , and , uh , something , something , I forget the rest of it.”

Victoria : “The Homeless , Illegal Immigrants , And The Walking Dead Helped Obama The Weasel Weasel His Way Into The White House.”

Katie : “Yeah , that’s it.”

Alex : “I can believe that Acorn , the homeless , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead might have been involved with getting Obama into the White house , but Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck? Come on! That’s ridiculous. Was Goofy involved too? How about Pluto?”

Katie : “What?”

Alex : “You don’t seriously believe that Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck had a hand in it , do you?”

Katie : “Well , Alex , there were reports that many of the ballots contained what appeared to be the signatures of assorted Disney characters. I’m not saying that Mickey and Donald actually signed any ballots. Most likely they were wearing costumes , and some people mistook them for the real thing.” 

aviary-photo_131270218524092884
Victoria Jackson , the Queen of kooks , crackpots , wackos , and fruitcakes.

Victoria : “Not according to the people I talked to. I talked to five different people , and they all swore they saw Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck not only handing out Acorn ballots , but signing ballots themselves.”  

Alex : “Wow! Five different people?”

Victoria : “Yeah. You think I’m going to write a book without doing some research? Who do you think you’re talking to?”

Alex : “I don’t think I’m talking to a kook , a crackpot , a wacko , and an all around fruitcake. I know I’m talking to a kook , a crackpot , a wacko , and an all around fruitcake , who writes about anything that comes into her empty , crazy head.”

Victoria : “Did you invite me back to make fun of me again , Alex?”

Alex : “You said it , not me.”

Katie : “Alex , can we talk about the book , please?”

Alex : “Alright. Let’s drop the crazy talk and get to some serious business here , the communist Obama selling drugs to Mexican drug cartels. Katie , how do you know Obama has smuggled Mexican drug cartels drugs in bicycles?”

Katie : “Well , we know for a fact that Obama hates America , so it also makes sense that he hates everything else in America , including bicycles.”

Alex : “What does that have to do with smuggling drugs? And why would he hate bicycles? That doesn’t make any sense.”

Katie : “Hold on , I’m getting to it. First he gave them weapons in Fast And Furious , because he hates American gun owners and wants to take all their guns away , and now he’s giving them drugs because he hates bike owners and wants to take their bikes away from them.”

 Alex : “I still don’t get it. He’s giving them drugs because he hates bike owners?”

Victoria : “Yeah. He stole thousands of bicycles and hid drugs inside of them , smuggled them to Mexican drug cartels , because he wanted to justify taking everyone’s bicycles away just like he still wants to take everyone’s guns away.”

Alex : “That doesn’t explain why he hates bike owners.”

aviary-photo_131272553405135151
Katie Pavlich , the Queen of cranks , and conspiracy theories.

Katie : “He hates bike owners because a White House staffer named Jake Brewer supposedly died in a bike riding accident during a cancer charity ride last year.”

Victoria : “Yeah. Obama probably had him killed because he’s a communist.”

Alex : “So , Obama stole thousands of bicycles , hid drugs inside of them , and then shipped them off to Mexican cartels because his friend Jake Brewer died in a charity bike ride?”

Katie : “That’s right.”

Alex : “That still doesn’t explain why he hates bike owners.”

Katie : “He hates bike owners like he hates gun owners. He hates gun owners and wants to grab everyone’s guns because he thinks they’re evil. But guns don’t kill people ; people kill people. He feels the same about bicycles. Just because his friend died on one  – “

Victoria : “Supposedly.”

Katie : “Supposedly. Just because his friend died on a bicycle , he thinks they’re evil too , and all of them need to be confiscated like he thinks all guns need to be confiscated.”

Alex : “People think I’m crazy , think I’m nuts , but that is literally one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard. It literally makes no sense. I can believe Obama would smuggle drugs to Mexican cartels because he’s an evil elitist communist who wants to take over America and set up his evil communist , Nazi , Muslim , gay New World Order , but to suggest that he’s smuggling drugs in bicycles because he believes they are just as dangerous as guns , is insane. 

Victoria : “You’re right. Obama is insane , and we have to stop him before it’s too late , or there won’t be anymore guns or bicycles left!”

Alex : “Yeah , Obama is insane , but you two are even more insane for believing this nonsense.”

Victoria : “It’s not nonsense.”

Alex : “Yes , it is. You’re both a couple of kooks , crackpots , wackos , and fruitcakes , who belong in a padded room with all of your readers who are also kooks , crackpots , wackos , and fruitcakes.”

Posted in Katie Pavlich

Stupid Conservative Memes #15 … Katie Pavlich Edition

aviary-photo_131251826871780403

*******Pot meet kettle******

And the way Conservative lame stream media operates is by ignoring facts that don’t support their fantasies :

  • There have been numerous investigative reports concerning the events in Benghazi , the majority of them Republican. There was no stand down order by the Obama administration to allow four Americans to die at the hands of Muslim extremists. There was no scandal. But Conservatives in the media convinced themselves that it was a massive cover-up because Obama sympathizes with Muslim terrorists. 
  • Fast And Furious was a scandal. It was an ATF scandal. But Conservative media again was convinced that Obama had deliberately allowed Mexican drug cartels to get their hands on thousands of firearms for the purpose of disarming American citizens of their second amendment rights and their guns. A conspiracy. But , again , an investigative report was released that was also ignored. Pavlich even published a book about it – Fast And Furious : Barack Obama’s Bloodiest Scandal And It’s Shameless Cover-Up – in which she played fast and furious with the facts. It was debunked the same year the report was released , but millions of wing nuts are to this day convinced of its accuracy.
Posted in Katie Pavlich

Golf Gate : Barack Obama’s Third Bloodiest Scandal

Aviary Photo_131090523586598346
Proof that not all blondes are dumb. Just Conservative blondes like Pavlich.

 

    Katie Pavlich is a Tea Party wing nut , gun loving wacko and a Fox News talking bobble head. She writes columns for wing nut conspiracy sites  Town Hall , Patriot Update , and World Nut Daily. She was named 2013’s Blogger Of The Year at the CPAC conference , God knows why. The same year she was awarded the Conservative Leadership from Clare Booth Luce Policy Institute , again God knows why. The following year CBLPI named her Woman Of The Year , once again , God knows why.

Like all liberal hating wing nuts ,  she believes the president is a communist  and a fascist because of Obama Care , is a Muslim , and is soft on  Muslim terrorists because he refuses to utter the magic words , Radical Islamic terrorism. It’s clear these people want a religious war.

Aviary Photo_131090543223771414As a gun nut , she believes the president is hell-bent on destroying the second amendment , and is still coming for the precious guns of all self-described “patriotic Americans”. Her proof is the president’s recent executive actions on gun control , which she believes is a blatant attempt to confiscate guns , and her failure to understand the basics of the U.N. Arms Trade Treaty , which in the minds of gun nuts will eventually lead to direct gun confiscation , but in reality will have no effect on the private ownership of fire arms in the United States.

 Assault And Stupidity  

In a recent article in The Hill , she claimed racism no longer exists in America. That is , unless they’re liberals. In the minds of wing nuts like Pavlich , its the Black Lives Matter crowd, the likes of  Jessie Jackson , Eric Holder , Obama , and liberals , who are the real racists , and race hustlers , and that white Neo-Conservatives are the real victims of racism , which is solely perpetrated by anyone black who has the audacity to complain about getting shot and beaten by over-zealous  , trigger happy police officers.

During an episode of The O’Reilly Factor , she claimed that white privilege is racist against whitey , that white students are discriminated against on college campuses , and the only time she has confronted her whiteness is when visiting the tanning salon.

Joining the phony leftist war on Christians and Christmas , is Pavlich’s latest book , Assault And Flattery : The Truth About The Left And Their War On Women. Here Pavlich has crafted  an imaginary war on women by the “Radical , Godless Left” , as opposed to an actual assault by Conservatives on women’s reproductive rights via legislation , attempting to defund planned Parenthood , and smearing its founder , Margret Sanger as an anti-black genocidal racist.

On an episode of Fox News’ Outnumbered , Pavlich displayed her race baiting skills by defending Trump’s statement about undocumented immigrants : “If these protesters spent as much time protesting the illegal alien rapists and murderers who make their own community look bad , maybe Trump wouldn’t be saying the things he is about them. So , I suggest that if they don’t want that stereotype , if they don’t want the truth to be told about the fact that illegal immigration does bring with it a huge criminal element that we have to deal with in this country , they should spend their energies getting out the criminals in their own communities.”

And they wonder why liberals and progressives label them as bigots and racists. Stay classy , Katie.

On an episode of Hannity Pavlich made the moronic statement that Barack Obama , Eric Holder , and Al Sharpton are anti-police , without offering any evidence. Since the deaths of Trayvon Martin , Michael Brown ,  Eric Garner , and Freddie Gray , the Right Wing Hate Machine has race baited the black community , the president , and prominent black leaders , accusing them of racism , of inciting hatred and violence against the police. Their intention is clear : to discredit Americas first bi-racial president as a racist and portray black protesters as thugs and criminals , which proves their hatred of the president and black people in general , is based on race. If he were a white Republican , his comments on race relations would not be a news worthy  issue.

Pavlich isn’t the first Conservative to accuse the president of being anti-police. Former Mayor of New York Rudy Guiliani , accused Obama of telling everyone to hate and incite violence against the police. The Washington Post fact check his statement and found it to be false. They also checked Pavlich’s claim , and found it too to be false.

 Her last book , Fast And Furious : Barack Obama’s Bloodiest Scandal , was a New York Times best seller , in which she claimed Barack Obama deliberately allowed guns to fall into the hands of Mexican drug cartels to further his fascist anti-gun agenda , which would eventually lead to total gun confiscation.
Only an idiot would believe this. A president , who they claim is anti-gun and wants to take everyone’s fire arms away , gives thousands of them to criminals for the purpose of pushing for stricter gun control legislation. Makes perfect sense.
It would have been easier to ban all guns by executive action , even though gun nuts would have had a fit. After all , he is The Gun Grabber In Chief , even though he has yet to grab a single gun.
The book was published in April of 2012 , and even though it was debunked the same year with the release of the Fast And Furious report , to Pavlich and the Conservative media , it will forever remain a scandal.

Her latest book , Golf Gate : Barack Obama’s Third Bloodiest Scandal , a look inside the Conservative medias obsession with the president’s so-called obsession with golf , is set to be released this summer by I Hate Barack Obama Publishing Company. 

She appeared recently on the Rachel Maddow Show to talk about the new book that will undoubtedly have her fans and readers salivating over another non scandal that Obama’s lap dog liberal media is obviously covering up for him.

Rachel : “What are president Obama’s first two bloody scandals?”

Katie : The first one was Fast And Furious , and the second was Benghazi.”

Rachel : But they’ve both been debunked.”

Katie : “No , they haven’t.”

Rachel : “Yes , they have. Haven’t you read the reports?”

Katie : “No , I haven’t. But -“

Rachel : “The Fast And Furious program was an ATF scandal , not a White House scandal that had anything to do with a false flag attempt to gab guns from American gun owners , and -“

Katie : “That’s your opinion.”

Rachel : “No , it’s not. It’s fact. Read the report.”

Katie : “I don’t have to read the report to know that Barack Obama , and Eric Holder were both involved , and that it was either Obama , or Holder’s idea in the first place , because they both hate the second amendment and guns so much that they obviously came up with this twisted scheme to grab the guns of every patriotic  , Tea Party American , because they believe they’re all racists. And Benghazi was not a fake scandal either , despite what liberals say. There really was a stand down order because Obama hates America , and the military , and didn’t care if his Muslim Brotherhood homies killed those people , because he’s a Muslim and a communist.”

Rachel : “Alright. Whatever.  And how is golfing a bloody scandal?”

Katie : “Well , first of all , everyone knows that Obama is always either on vacation , or playing golf when something bad happens in America , or around the world. It’s typical of him. An ostrich immediately hides its head in the sand. What does Obama do? Instead of accepting responsibility for everything , he plays golf. He says to himself , ‘it’s not my fault , it’s Bush’s fault. Blame him.’ Everything he does or says , he blames on George Bush. You know , like when he said , ‘you didn’t build that.’ Now he’s always saying , ‘I didn’t do that , I didn’t say that. It was Bush.’ So basically , playing golf is his way of hiding his head in the sand.”

Rachel : “And how is that a bloody scandal?”

Aviary Photo_131090547703952864
The look on Maddow’s face says it all , as Pavlich explains that communist democrats like to murder anyone who doesn’t support their liberal agenda.

Katie : “Well , everyone also knows that Obama is a Democrat , and Democrats are communists , and communists like to murder people who disagree with them , or don’t support their communist liberal agenda.”

Rachel : “What? Democrats are communists and they like to murder anyone who disagrees with their liberal agenda?!  Do you really believe that?”

Katie : “Of course I do. It makes sense.”

Rachel : “No , it doesn’t. It’s nonsense.”

Katie : “It’s not nonsense ; it’s true. I heard it from Allen West.”

Rachel : “Allen West is a space cadet. I wouldn’t take anything he has to say too seriously. Anyway , please continue.”

Katie : “Well , we know that Obama is close friends with John Poindexter , the man who owns the Texas ranch where Justice Scalia was found dead. And we know that Obama and Poindexter played golf on occasion , like he’s played golf with every liberal elitist athlete and actor in Hollywood like Tiger Woods , Jack Nicholson , and Stephen King.”

Rachel : “It’s Nicklaus , and he’s a Republican. I’ve never heard of him playing golf with Stephen King. Anyway , you still haven’t explained how playing golf is a bloody scandal.”

Katie : “Hold on , I’m getting to it.”

Rachel : “Please do. This is getting ridiculous.”

Katie : “Whatever. You know , you invited me here to talk about my new book , but you keep interrupting me.”

Rachel : “I’m not interrupting you. I’ve asked you twice how playing golf is supposed to be a bloody scandal , and you keep going off on a tangent about the president playing golf , which is anything but a scandal.”

Katie : “Well , if you’ll be patient , like I said , I’ll get to it.”

Rachel : Alright. Go on.”

Katie : “What makes the president playing golf a bloody scandal , is the fact that he probably had Scalia killed so he could put a liberal on the Supreme Court. Everybody’s talking about it. Please don’t interrupt. And we know that Obama wouldn’t hesitate to kill anyone to take a vacation ,  play a game of golf , or kill anyone who criticizes him for taking a vacation or playing golf. And if you don’t believe me , you can ask Victoria Jackson , and Dr. Gina.”

Rachel : “Please forgive me , Ms. Pavlich , if I don’t take you at your word … or Victoria Jackson’s or Dr. Gina’s.”