What Liberals Believe ( Liberals Are Still Loons )

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Conservative sleuth , John Hawkins , sniffing out them evil , treasonous , America hating liberals.


Since the election of Donald Trump , liberals have gotten even crazier than they’ve ever been , and it’s all Barack Obama’s fault , because he was  jealous that Hillary Clinton lost , even though he rigged it with the help of ACORN , Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless , illegal aliens , and the walking dead , yes , the real walking dead , just as he rigged the last two elections with the same characters.

1) Liberals believe Trump will play more golf than Obama did. The truth is , all Obama did was play golf while the world went to hell.

2) Liberals believe Trump will sign more executive orders. The truth is , all Obama did was sign executive orders while the world went to hell. When he wasn’t signing executive orders , he was playing golf , and when he wasn’t playing golf , he was signing executive orders.

3) Liberals believe Trump is a racist because he wanted to build a wall to keep out those murderous , drug dealing illegal immigrants. But it’s really liberals who are racist because they want them to come here and collect welfare , food stamps , and do jobs “no American would want to do.”

4) Liberals believe Trump hates Muslims because his immigration ban will prevent them from coming here and murdering us in our sleep. 

5) Liberals believe ACORN doesn’t exist anymore. But the truth is , ACORN is still trying to rig the voting system for Democrats. They tried it in 2016 , and will most likely try it again in 2020.

6) Liberals don’t believe Obama spied on Trump. The truth is , Obama trained his dogs , Sonny and Bo to infiltrate Trump Towers to tap the phones. Those dogs are clever. They are also communists like Obama.

7) Liberals don’t believe Obama is on a permanent vacation. The truth is , ever since Obama entered the White House in 2009 , he has been on a permanent vacation. According to an unknown source , he was even planning to write a book called My Endless vacation In The White House.

8) Liberals are so delusional , they believe evolution and global warming are real. Even though there is no evidence for either , but refuse to believe in God even though there is a mountain of evidence. 

9) Liberals believe Obama is no longer playing golf. Even though he had banned all golf courses by executive order , for his personal use.

10) Liberals believe Conservatives hated Obama because he is black. Which proves they are the racists. Conservatives don’t like Obama because he was really born in Kenya. 

And there you have it , ten reasons why liberals are still loons.


#acorn, #barack-obama, #conservatives, #democrats, #donald-duck, #golf, #humor, #john-hawkins, #kenya, #liberals, #mickey-mouse, #satire, #trump, #vacation

More Reasons Not To Trust A Liberal ( Or Why I Still Hate Liberals ) Part 3

John Hawkins , Rightwing News

John Hawkins , Rightwing News

Liberals have completely lost their minds. It’s a fact. Studies have proved it. But I don’t need any studies  to prove just how insane and crazy they are. This list speaks for itself.

Liberals have not only gone off the deep end , but they’ve completely destroyed America. That’s also a fact , and studies have proved it.  The economy is in shambles because of Obama , liberals , and Democrats. Religion is under attack because of Obama , liberals , and Democrats. And America is less safe because of Obama , liberals , and Democrats. It’s a fact.

1) Liberals believe that Obama won the elections fair and square. But the truth is he stole the elections with  help from ACORN , Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead , the real walking dead , which Obama raised from graveyards all over America.
Liberals will quickly ridicule anyone who mentions this fact. But anyone who has read Victoria Jackson’s book , How Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , ACORN , The Homeless , Illegal Immigrants , And The Walking Dead Helped Obama The Weasel Weasel His Way Into The White House , knows that this is a real possibility. Julio , Obama’s twin , may have also been involved.

2) Liberals believe the moon landings were faked. There is no proof that the moon landings were faked. Most of them are Alex Jones fanatics , and will often cite his videos as evidence. Liberals are so gullible.

3) Liberals didn’t believe The Muslim Brotherhood were rapping with Obama in the WH.  But it’s a known fact. They produced several videos together , which were all featured on YouTube , and MTV.

4) They don’t believe the LGBT are forcing everyone to be gay , just like the Nazis did. Liberals believe the nonsense that Hitler was neither a prancing fairy , nor  a socialist liberal. Scott Lively proved them wrong in his book , Pink Swastika.

5) They don’t believe Obama will still take our guns away. Liberals think just because Obama’s no longer in the White House , he can’t take them. But he will still find a way.

6) They don’t believe Obama still wants to eat their kids.  Just like he will eventually take their guns , he will eventually eat their kids. He may bake them in an oven , he may boil them in a stew , when he’s eaten our guns , he will eat their kids too. 

7) They still don’t believe Obama is the Anti-Christ. 

8) They don’t believe Obama is a psychopath because he played too much golf , and took too many vacations. Only psychopaths take vacations and play too much golf at the expense of tax payers , as the Obama’s did for eight years.

9) They don’t believe Obama planted bombs with Bill Ayers and The Weather Underground in the late sixties and early seventies. Sarah Palin was right.

10) They don’t believe ISIS has camps all over America. According to Jihad Watch , ISIS set up camp in Mexico and merged with the Mexican drug cartels. Now they have camps in all fifty states. 

And there you have it. Ten more reasons why I still hate liberals and wouldn’t shake hands with one , since all liberals are gay , and I have no desire to be one of them.

More Reasons Not To Trust A Liberal ( Or Why I Still Hate Liberals ) , Part 2


John Hawkins , Rightwing News.

Even though Obama is no longer in the White House , I will continue making fun of liberals. So , here is my continuing list of Why I Still Hate Liberals …

1) They don’t believe Obama is persecuting Christians. Ever since Obama became president , Christians and Conservatives have been under attack. They’ve been attacked  in the streets all over America by liberal mobs angry at the fact that Conservatives and Christians are wishing them Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays. Liberals are such wimps.

2) They believe Ted Nugent is a draft dodging pants pooper. Ted is a real American patriot , because he hunts  , and hates liberals , not because he dodged the draft by pooping his drawers.

3) They’re slobs. When liberals eat , they can’t help but act like the slobs they are. It’s in their nature. It’s in their genes. Liberals are born to be slobs. They have no qualms about belching and farting around others , and at the dinner table. Liberals are such pigs.

4) If Jesus were black or Muslim , they would gladly believe in him. When Megan Kelly claimed Jesus was white , liberals had a fit , proving how racist they are. They can’t stand the fact that Jesus is white and will always be white.

5) They don’t believe in Santa Claus. Again , liberals would believe in Kris Kringle if he were black , but he’s also white , and American , whether they believe it or not. It’s just a fact.

6) They have warts. Liberals are ugly , which is why only they have warts.

7) They love to eat children. It’s a fact that liberals will eat anything , even kids. In fact , liberals will gladly eat their own kids if they had nothing else to eat.

8) They’re sex maniacs. When liberals aren’t eating kids , babies , puppies , and everything else , they’re sex maniacs. They’re either masturbating relentlessly or humping each other like wild animals. liberals are so nasty.

9) They’re serial killers. Everyone knows liberals are serial killers. Want proof? See #7.

10) They believe Wheaties really are the breakfast of champions. You read that right. Liberals really are that stupid.

And there you have it , more reasons why I still hate liberals and wouldn’t touch one even if they converted to Christianity , which is not very likely , since liberals hate Christians.

#christians, #john-hawkins, #kris-kringle, #liberals, #satire, #ted-nugent

More Reasons Not To Trust A Liberal ( Or Why I Hate Still Hate Liberals ) Part 1

Conservative sleuth , John Hawkins , sniffing out them evil , treasonous liberals.

There are so many reasons not to trust liberals. They’re morons , they’re idiots , they’re fascists  , they’re communists , they hate America , and are destroying it without realizing it because they’re too dumb to realize how dumb they are. So , I’ve come up with another list of more reasons not to trust a liberal , and why I hate them. Here are the first ten.

1) They don’t believe Obama is a Muslim Manchurian candidate It was clear from the start that Obama was a Muslim terrorist put into the White House by his pals in the Muslim brotherhood , who have themselves infiltrated the White House.  

2) They don’t believe Obama is a Marxist communist. Both of his parents were communists. Frank Marshall Davis was also a communist , as is Bill Ayers. So , just by the fact that he was associated with communists makes him a communist , and most likely helped them plant explosives and kill people when he was a kid.

3) They refuse to believe he is worse than Hitler. Obama is more like Hitler than liberals will admit. The fact that he issued executive orders with his magic pen and more of them than any other president , definitely makes him a dictator.

4) They don’t believe he’s a racist and a bigot. Obama proved himself to be an anti-white racist when he sympathized with known cracker haters Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown.  Trayvon Martin was a teenage thug who refused to comply with George Zimmerman , and Brown was a maniacal thug who beat up a white cop. Obama also criticized James Crowley for arresting his friend Henry Louis Gates. 

5) They don’t believe Michelle Obama is really a transsexual. Any fool can see that Michelle Obama has had a sex change operation. Her shoulders are athletic and muscular , and some people who are close to her have sworn that she has a prominent bulge in her pants. 

6) They don’t believe Obama is gay. Look at Michelle Obama. No more proof is necessary. 

7) They don’t believe white people are the new victim of racism. Ever since the Obama’s took over the White House , they have divided America , and have demonized white people.

8) They don’t believe feminists are Nazis. All feminists are Nazis like Obama and want to imprison all Conservatives in Fema camps , also like Obama does.

9) They refuse to believe Obama’s birth certificate was faked. Was his birth certificate a fake? We may never know since his records have been permanently sealed.

10) They refuse to believe that it really was Obama’s fault that Track Palin abused his girlfriend. Everything is Obama’s fault. There’s no disputing that fact. 

And those are the first ten reasons why I hate liberals and wouldn’t trust one to pick my nose for me even if I was a paralysed  invalid.

#liberals, #marxist, #obama, #satire, #trayvon-martin

Ridiculous Things Liberals Believe Are Real ( Or Why Liberals Are Loons ) … Part 1

aviary-photo_131293155154534512Liberals. Can’t live with them , can’t live without them. If we could , we wouldn’t be able to make fun of them. And God knows I love to make fun of liberals , because they’re so loony , but they haven’t got a clue as to how loony they are. To prove just how loony liberals really are , I’ve made another one my brilliant lists. Here are the first ten.

1) Liberals think they know everything. Liberals pride themselves on knowledge , but when it comes to actual knowledge , liberals don’t really know anything. All they really are is know-nothings who believe they’re better than everyone else. Conservatives are actually more intelligent , and know a lot more than your average liberal. It’s a known fact. Studies have proved it.

2) Liberals believe Bert And Ernie are a real gay couple. Liberals believe the Sesame Street characters Bert and Ernie are a gay couple.

3) Liberals believe the moon is made of green cheese. Everyone knows the moon is a natural satellite of Earth. That is , everyone but liberals. They actually believe it to consist of some type of cheese , Munster , Cheddar , or Limburger , or any number of varieties.

4) Liberals believe in global warming. They believe the Earth is growing warmer , despite all of the evidence to the contrary. The Earth is actually getting colder.

5) Liberals believe evolution is real. Like global warming , there is no evidence to support this theory. All existing species today were created by God six thousand years ago. It says so in the Bible. What’s more believable? A scientific theory that can’t be proven , or God , who can be proven?

6) Liberals believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. One of the more ridiculous beliefs among liberals is that of a tentacled deity made entirely of pasta. Adherents to this belief refer to themselves as Pastafarians.

7) Liberals believe in the Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy , but not Santa Claus. These two fairy tales are fine for children , but grown adults who believe in them , are just as ridiculous as the Pastafarians.

8) Liberals believe in the Cookie Monster. Another Sesame seed Street character liberals believe is based on a real person.

9) Liberals believe rocks make great pets. 

10) Liberals believe atheism can be proven. 

And there you have it. The first ten reasons liberals are loons because they believe in the most ridiculous nonsense.

Twenty Reasons To Despise Barack Obama … Part 2

aviary-photo_131183778303370941There are more reasons to dislike Barack Obama than I can count. It would take me years to list them all , but for the sake of this article I will choose the twenty most despicable ones I can think of.

  1. He’s anti-Christmas : Since the Obama’s entered the White House , they have shown their disdain for Christmas. No one is allowed to say Merry Christmas in the White House , the Christmas tree has been banned , and everyone must say Happy Holidays in public to please the Dictator In Chief.
  2. He’s a Muslim jihadi : It’s no secret that Barack Obama is a Muslim , and that he favors his Muslim brothers over Americans , and that he has a friendly to Muslim jihadis mentality. It’s clear that his goal is to allow them to cross the borders and set up camps all across America. It’s just a matter of time before they kill us all , turn our kids into gay Muslim jihadis and set up a caliphate.
  3. Allowed four Americans to die in Benghazi : Four brave Americans were murdered by friends and relatives of Obama , supposedly over a video. Conservatives who have been paying attention , know that it had nothing to do with a video. The real reason they were left to die was because Obama was running weapons , flowers , candy , and love letters to his radical Muslim buddies in Syria , and Ambassador Stevens was aware of this , so Obama had him and the other three killed to keep them from talking.
  4. He loves Marxism : His parents read Mein Kampf, and Karl Marx to him as two of his favorite bed time stories. This is most likely where he learned to love Marxism , and Nazism , and couldn’t wait to be president so he could practice both ideologies.
  5. Has taken an unprecedented amount of vacations : It seems that ever since Obama has been in the White House , he has managed to get very little work done , and has taken one extravagant and lavish vacation after another , all at the tax payers’ expense. Liberals often claim that Bush took more vacations. The truth is , Bush worked more , and vacationed less often. The Obama’s have vacationed a hundred times more often. It’s a proven fact.
  6. Plays way too much golf : Another past time that Obama has a habit of spending too much time at , and always when the world is falling to pieces.
  7. Was recruited by Bill Ayers and company as a member of the Weather Underground : During the 2008 elections Sarah Palin accused Barack Obama of paling around with terrorists. She was correct , as well-informed Conservatives suspected. He lied about not being closely associated with Ayers. It’s clear that Ayers recruited him to help them plant bombs and kill people during the Vietnam era.
  8. Will outlaw guns any day now : It’s just a matter of time before he uses his mighty pen once again and decides that the second amendment is no longer valid. Then every patriotic , law-abiding gun owner will be tossed into Fema/Wal-Mart stores where they will save less , and live like slaves.
  9. Is bringing millions of Muslims across the borders : Most Americans know that Obama is allowing his Muslim buddies to cross our borders unchecked , and that very soon they will take over America , and install a caliphate. They already have sharia law and no go zones in every state.
  10. Stole the elections : Every well-informed American knows that Barack Obama got into the White House by having ACORN , Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead – real dead people – steal the elections for him. That’s a known fact.


Twenty Reasons To Despise Barack Obama … Part 1


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John Hawkins

   There are many reasons to despise Barack Obama. Since appearing on the political scene as a presidential candidate , he has lied to the American people about everything under the sun , and not only betrayed them , but the Constitution for which he has sworn to uphold , which he has literally shredded with impunity.

Here are the first ten reasons every patriotic American should despise Barack Obama.

  1. He was born in Kenya : Conservatives had it right from the beginning. Obama was ( and is ) a foreigner. He was never qualified to be president. His birth certificate proved it.
  2. He’s a Muslim : Liberals have falsely accused Conservatives of falsely accusing Obama of being a Muslim. Which is false.
  3. He’s gay : Conservatives have always know that Obama is secretly gay. His affair with Larry Sinclair , when he was a Senator , proved it. As did his other numerous homosexual affairs.
  4. He’s the Anti-Christ : Every true Christian in America knows that Barack Obama is Satan’s right hand man. All that’s left is for him to reveal the truth to the world.
  5. He’s racist : Obama has made it clear from the beginning that he hates white people. Glen Beck said it best when he described the president as a white culture hating racist. Even his defense of a known thug like Trayvon Martin , proved just how racist he is.
  6. He’s a socialist : Well-informed Conservatives know that Obama care is socialized health care , even though liberals are in denial.
  7. He’s just like Hitler : Since Obama took over the White House , he’s proven that his pen and phone are mightier than the law.
  8. He’s anti-Christian : For seven years Obama has spoken out against  , and persecuted Christians at every turn. He’s banned Bibles and religious symbols in the military , the White House , prayer is outlawed in schools , and Christians can no longer mention God in public places without fear of persecution.
  9. He hates America : Obama has always hated America. He has proved this in a number of ways. Putting his foot up on the Oval Office desk ; wearing a tan suit ; eating a hamburger with Dijon mustard instead of ketchup , and golfing too much.
  10. He’s a Martian : Barack Obama may be My Favorite Martian to liberals , but to Conservatives who know the truth about him , know that he is a dictator who the CIA trained on a secret mission to Mars.