Posted in John Hawkins, satire

Ridiculous Things Liberals Believe Are Real ( Or Why Liberals Are Loons ) … Part 1

aviary-photo_131293155154534512Liberals. Can’t live with them , can’t live without them. If we could , we wouldn’t be able to make fun of them. And God knows I love to make fun of liberals , because they’re so loony , but they haven’t got a clue as to how loony they are. To prove just how loony liberals really are , I’ve made another one my brilliant lists. Here are the first ten.

1) Liberals think they know everything. Liberals pride themselves on knowledge , but when it comes to actual knowledge , liberals don’t really know anything. All they really are is know-nothings who believe they’re better than everyone else. Conservatives are actually more intelligent , and know a lot more than your average liberal. It’s a known fact. Studies have proved it.

2) Liberals believe Bert And Ernie are a real gay couple. Liberals believe the Sesame Street characters Bert and Ernie are a gay couple.

3) Liberals believe the moon is made of green cheese. Everyone knows the moon is a natural satellite of Earth. That is , everyone but liberals. They actually believe it to consist of some type of cheese , Munster , Cheddar , or Limburger , or any number of varieties.

4) Liberals believe in global warming. They believe the Earth is growing warmer , despite all of the evidence to the contrary. The Earth is actually getting colder.

5) Liberals believe evolution is real. Like global warming , there is no evidence to support this theory. All existing species today were created by God six thousand years ago. It says so in the Bible. What’s more believable? A scientific theory that can’t be proven , or God , who can be proven?

6) Liberals believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. One of the more ridiculous beliefs among liberals is that of a tentacled deity made entirely of pasta. Adherents to this belief refer to themselves as Pastafarians.

7) Liberals believe in the Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy , but not Santa Claus. These two fairy tales are fine for children , but grown adults who believe in them , are just as ridiculous as the Pastafarians.

8) Liberals believe in the Cookie Monster. Another Sesame seed Street character liberals believe is based on a real person.

9) Liberals believe rocks make great pets. 

10) Liberals believe atheism can be proven. 

And there you have it. The first ten reasons liberals are loons because they believe in the most ridiculous nonsense.

Posted in Liberal Logic 101, Stupid Conservative memes

Stupid Conservative Memes #25 … Liberal Logic 101 Edition

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Trying to convince the idiots who believe this crap , how intelligent they are.

Right. This is what liberals spend their time doing ,   trying to convince people  that a cross should be prohibited or banned. 

Posted in Liberal Logic 101, Stupid Conservative memes

Stupid Conservative Memes #24 … Liberal Logic 101 Edition

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A known white supremacist  Dylann Roof murders nine black people in a South Carolina church , and Conservatives can’t find a motive.

This is the length that racist Conservatives will go to make themselves the victims of racism. Deny racism exists because America elected a black president.

Roof admitted to the police that his motive for the shooting was that he wanted to start a race war. Conservative media rushed to call it a hate crime against Christians , because that fits the ridiculous Conservative narrative  that Obama hates Christians and has been trying to start a race war against white people.

Again I say that’s Bullshit.

Posted in Glen Beck, Pat Gray, satire, Stu Burguiere, Tomi Lahren

What Barack Obama Really Wants : Obama Wants To Eat Your Guns

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Tomi warning her audience that Obama is a dangerous Muslim who will take everyone’s guns away and eat them , because he’s also a communist , and communists like to eat guns , among other things.

If you’ve been following social media this past year , then chances are you are familiar with Tomi Lahren. Tomi is a conservative wing nut commentator employed by Glenn Beck at his network The Blaze. She is best known for her loud and opinionated , fact free rants , sparking controversy as she did recently with her ridiculous and laughable criticism of president Obama as being soft on radical Muslim terrorists ; her equally ridiculous criticisms of Black Lives Matter , referring to them as a violent and racist movement worse than the KKK , and her bigoted rhetoric that all Muslims are basically terrorists. 

Like all conservative wing nuts , she’s certain that the only racism in American is racism against white people , who have been victimized by the Black Lives Matter movement ,  that they are working hand in hand with the Muslim Brotherhood to overthrow the United States government ; that the Clinton’s have left a long trail of dead political enemies ; that Barack Obama is a Muslim responsible for dividing America , has an anti-police ideology – he supposedly incited the violence that caused the deaths of the Dallas police officers – and wants to steal guns from law-abiding citizens. None of this has literally happened.

In her first book , White People : The New Victims Of Racism In The Age Of Obama , Tomi claimed that white people are being systematically beaten , lynched and burned alive by members of the Black Lives Matter movement , because they are now the new KKK and hate white people. In her latest book , What Barack Obama Really Wants : Obama Wants To Eat Your Guns , she claims Obama not only wants to , but will definitely steal everyone’s guns before he leaves office , and he will eat them too. 

She made another recent appearance on the Glenn Beck Radio Show to inform Glenn and his audience that Obama , whom she often refers to as Barry , was planning  something so big in the coming weeks that would prove to Conservatives and liberals alike just how evil he really is.

Glenn: “In your new book , you claim Obama is planning a big event that will take everyone by surprise.” 

Tomi: “That’s right , Glenn. Though not everyone will be that surprised. Most people who know the truth about Barry , suspect he will do something , they just don’t agree on what that something is. Some believed he would suspend the elections , even though it didn’t happen. Some still believe he will declare martial law before president Trump’s inauguration , declaring himself king and emperor , and then round-up law-abiding  patriots and their guns and throw them in prison camps. Conservatives , that is. Not guns. He has other plans for everyone’s guns.”

Glenn: “What do you think  he has planned?”

Tomi: “For their guns?”

Glenn: “In general.”

Tomi : “What do you mean? What’s in general?”

Glenn: ” I mean , his overall plan. What does he plan to do?”

Tomi: He plans on rounding up all law-abiding patriots , take their guns away , and throw them all in prison camps , because he’s a communist who supports Black Lives Matter because he’s a racist who hates white people , especially guns.”

Glenn: “How does he plan on doing that?”

Tomi: “It’s really not that hard to figure out. He hates America , because he’s a communist who supports Black Lives Matter because he’s a racist and hates white people and guns so it’s inevitable that he will round-up all law-abiding patriots take their guns away and throw them all in prison camps because he hates white people and guns. I believe the only way he can do this is with the support of Black Lives Matter which is a racist terrorist hate group the New Black Panthers which is also a racist terrorist hate group and all of his brain-dead supporters who are also racists and terrorists.”

Glenn: “When you say prison camps , do you mean Fema camps? Because there’s really no evidence they exist. They were debunked right here at The Blaze.”

Stu: “Alex Jones has been promoting them for years.”

Pat: “Yeah , that guy is one serious wackadoodle.”

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Glenn’s co-hosts arguing whether Pat ( center ) is as crazy as Alex Jones.

Stu: “Yeah. He not only believes in Fema camps , but the New World Order , what ever the hell that is , and the Illuminati conspiracy , whatever the hell that is. I wouldn’t be surprised if he also believed in the Tooth Fairy , the Easter Bunny , Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs , Tinkerbell , and Santa Claus.”

Pat: “believe in Santa Claus. He’s a real person. His name is Kris Kringle. Are you saying I’m crazy too?”

Stu: ( Smiling ) “You said it , not me.”

Pat: “So , I’m crazy because I believe in Santa Claus?”

Stu: ( Still smiling ) “No , you’re just crazy. Period.

Pat: “Are you saying you don’t believe in Santa Claus anymore?”

Stu: “Look , I still believe in Santa. I was just pointing out how crazy he is. Alex Jones , that is.”

Pat: “He is crazy. Because he probably does believe in the Tooth Fairy , and the Easter Bunny. The Tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny are fairy tales. But Santa Claus is real. There’s actual proof , evidence that he exists.”

Stu: “There’s no evidence that he exists.”

Pat: “I thought you believed in him.”

Stu: “I do , but not as a real person.”

Pat: So , you do think I’m crazy.”

Glenn: ( Raising his voice ) “Back to what Tomi was saying. Do you believe in Fema camps? Because they were debunked here not too long ago.”

Tomi: “I don’t know much about Fema camps , Glenn. But I do know that Barry will round-up all law-abiding conservative gun owners – because he’s a communist and a racist who hates white people – with the help of Black Lives Matter who are a racist terrorist hate group and the Black Panthers who are also a racist terrorist hate group and his brainless zombie supporters who are also a racist terrorist hate group and then he will round-up all their guns and then they will cook them in  a huge bonfire in front of the White House because communists love to eat guns among other things. But they love to eat guns most of all.”

 

Posted in Conservative hypocrisy, Stupid Conservative memes

Stupid Conservative Memes #23

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 Truth and honesty has never been a strong point with Conservatives. I’ve never heard a liberal say that  all white people should be held accountable for the actions of someone like Dylann Roof. What liberals are saying is that White America needs to take responsibility for its violent , racial past. Conservatives don’t understand this. When liberals point this out , Conservatives pretend the white race is under attack.

Conservatives have a double standard when it comes to terrorism : when a mass shooting occurs by Muslim jihad , its terrorism. Mainstream Conservative media are quick to blame all Muslims. When its white anti-government  jihad like Dylann Roof who massacres nine people in a black church , it’s not terrorism. He’s a troubled , lone wolf. They even go out of their way to claim there was no racial motive.

I say that’s bullshit. 

Posted in Liberal Logic 101

Stupid Conservative Memes #22 … Liberal Logic 101 Edition

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This is factually incorrect. The idea that all gun sales require a background check , is absurd. Any private seller can set up shop at a gun show and sell a gun without a background check. Thousands of guns have been sold to people who have not gone through background checks.

The claim that Obama became president without anyone looking into his background , is also absurd. The message here  , is that a black president is dangerous because he’s black , has a Muslim sounding name , and that a gun is less dangerous.

Liberal Logic 101 is so blatantly obvious in their racism , even a two-year old can see it.

Posted in Stupid Conservative memes

Stupid Conservative Memes #21

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Actually , none of these make liberals cry.

1) Liberals also own guns. The idea that liberals in general hate guns is absurd. Many Conservatives are gun nuts , who believe that even the most moderate forms of gun control are an infringement on their second amendment rights ; liberals tend to be more rational when it comes to firearm regulations.

2) Just as many liberals also love the flag. The notion among Conservatives that liberals are not patriotic and don’t love their country , is also laughably absurd.

3) Most liberals don’t care what football teams name themselves.

4) Many liberals have criticized Barack Obama when he does something they don’t support. The notion that all liberals blindly worship and approve of everything he does , is laughably absurd. Conservatives who hate him , are not paying attention.

5) Many liberals are Christians themselves , and are highly critical of Islam. Conservatives have a real problem labeling all Muslims as terrorists , hence the absurd phrase , ‘not all Muslims are terrorists , but all terrorists are Muslims ,’ which is contradictory. They also have a problem defending white nationalist terrorism like some liberals do with Islam.

6) Many liberals also hunt.

7) No rational liberal would watch Fox News , so that one is correct.

8) Again , the idea that liberals hate the Constitution , is  ridiculous. 

9) Conservatives believe they have a monopoly on patriotism. They believe that hating Democrats , liberals , Barack Obama , Hillary Clinton , amassing hoards of firearms , and wrapping themselves in the flag while denying civil rights to others , makes them patriots.

The liberal version :

Things that make Conservatives cry :

Moderate , reasonable gun control. Whaaa!

Anyone who doesn’t display extreme nationalism , such as standing for the National anthem ; anyone who criticizes police brutality involving the death of an unarmed black individual. Whaaa!

Anyone who criticizes Der Furher Donald Trump. Whaaa!

Anyone who criticizes Christianity. We’re so oppressed! Whaaa!

Animal rights activists. Whaaa!

Environmental activists. Whaaa!

Gay rights activists. Whaaa!

Anyone who criticizes Fox News. Whaaa!

Anyone who doesn’t hate Obama , liberals , Democrats , and gays. Whaaa!

Anyone who doesn’t hate Muslims. Whaaa!

Anyone who criticizes Israel’s imperialism. Whaaa!

Anyone who criticizes Americas imperialism. Whaaa!

Posted in Conservative hypocrisy, Dylann Roof

Stupid Conservative Memes #19

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This meme is not only dishonest , but uses projection to claim that liberals are the real hypocrites.

After a mass shooting Conservatives are the ones who rush to judgment and lecture liberals that all Muslims represent the actions of Muslim terrorists , hence the idiotic phrase “Not all Muslims are terrorists , but all terrorists are Muslims.”

When a racist like Dylann Roof shoots up a church and murders nine black parishioners , Conservatives immediately deny his motives had anything to do with race. They refer to white male shooters as lone wolves with mental issues. In Roof’s case they tried to make it look like an attack on religious freedom , because of course , Conservative Christians in America suffer from a persecution complex.

Who’s really being hypocritical?

Posted in Liberal Logic 101

Stupid Conservative Memes #18 … Liberal Logic 101 Edition

 

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Yes , food stamps have doubled under Obama. 

What Conservatives who have a pre-conceived hatred of Obama won’t tell you , is that they also doubled under Bush. That would destroy their myth of Obama being the food stamp president , and that most of its recipients are minorities , the lazy moochers.

 Liberal Logic 101 … yes , they are that stupid … and that racist.