Posted in satire, Victoria Jackson

Obama The Grinch Wants To Eat My Christmas Cookies And Donuts , Drink My Eggnog And Steal My Christmas Presents

obama_grinch_bbq_apron As they do every year Fox News and Bill O’Reilly revives it’s silly war on Christmas theme. They never  get tired of complaining that the holiday is under attack from liberals , atheists , and Barack Obama , all of whom have waged an unholy war against it , preventing Christians and Conservatives from proclaiming Merry Christmas , stores from displaying Christmas displays , and even the White House , where not only the tree is banned , but anything associated with Christmas , including the baby Jesus , and Santa Claus.

Recently Fox News featured an article from The Arizona Conservative about the Obama administration banning donut sprinkles. Not realizing that it was satire , they ran with it as if it were an actual news story , as more evidence of Obama’s war on Christmas. Their viewers were outraged . Conservative bloggers on the internet were outraged , some even writing articles on the ban that never happened.

When Victoria Jackson heard about it , she was not only outraged ,  she became  hysterical , believing that Obama The Grinch was at last doing away with Christmas. She again went on a crying jag , just as she did  the day Obama had been re-elected. She was so hysterical she wrote a book complaining to her fans and readers that Christmas was now as dead as America was , thanks to Obama.

She’s written several books about Obama , having to do with his mole , his magic pen , wanting to eat everyone’s kids , and the day America was destroyed when he was re-elected in 2012. Her latest book ,  Obama The Grinch Wants To Eat My Christmas Cookies And Donuts , Drink My Eggnog , And Steal My Christmas Presents , is published by the I Hate Obummer Book Club , and is available only to her fans through Fox News , World Nut Daily , and her website.

She’s been featured numerous times on the Fox News network with Shawn Hannity , and Megan Kelly. Recently she appeared again on The Rachel Maddow Show with Rachel Maddow to talk about her newest book which will be available just before Christmas.

Rachel : “Victoria , you’ve written some of the most insane books about president Obama , and while this one isn’t quite as bizarre as some of the others , it is nevertheless , ridiculous.”

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Victoria Jackson explaining to Rachel Maddow that Obama wants to eat everyone’s Christmas cookies , donuts , drink their eggnog , and steal their Christmas presents before he leaves the White House.

Victoria : “What do you mean , insane? Did you read it?”

Rachel : “No , I did not.”

Victoria : “Why not?”

Rachel : “Because it doesn’t make sense.”

Victoria : “How would you know that without reading it?”

Rachel : “I don’t need to read something to know that it doesn’t make sense. The title says all I need to know.”

Victoria : “All of my books make sense.”

Rachel : “That’s a matter of opinion.”

Victoria : “So , you think Obama’s mole – Julio – can’t be the Anti-Christ?”

Rachel : “Of course not. It’s just a mole , for God sake.”

Victoria : “And you don’t believe Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead helped Obama steal the elections?”

Rachel : “No , I don’t.”

Victoria : “You don’t believe he wants to eat America’s kids?”

Rachel : “Certainly not.”

Victoria : “You don’t believe America died when he was re-elected?”

Rachel : Nope. America is still here , obviously.”

Victoria : “That’s a matter of opinion, Rachel.. And you don’t believe he’s a psychopath because he takes too many vacations , and plays too much golf?”

Rachel : “No.”

Victoria : “And you don’t believe he wants to eat your Christmas cookies and donuts , drink your eggnog , and steal your Christmas presents?”

Rachel : “No , I don’t believe it. It’s silly.”

Victoria : “I don’t think it’s silly. I think it’s really scary. And I’m not the only one who thinks it’s scary. A lot of kids think it’s scary too. That’s why I wrote the book.”

Rachel : “He not only wants to steal your Christmas cookies , donuts and eggnog , but all of the cookies , donuts , eggnog , and presents of America’s kids?”

Victoria : “That’s right.”

Rachel : “And how do you know that’s what he wants?”

Victoria : “They told me.”

Rachel : “Whose they?”

Victoria : “America’s kids. That’s who.”

Rachel : “America’s kids told you that Obama wants to eat their Christmas cookies and donuts , drink their eggnog , and steal their Christmas presents?”

Victoria : “Yeah. I received hundreds of letters from kids all over America who are terrified that Obama is going to ban Christmas and steal their Christmas goodies and eggnog , and  their presents. I even included some of the letters in the book.”

Rachel : “You can’t be serious. It sounds made up.”

Victoria : “Well , it’s not.”

Rachel : “And where would they get such a ridiculous notion?”

Victoria : “From watching Fox News.”

Rachel : “Kids who watch Fox News wrote you letters saying they were afraid president Obama wants to ban Christmas and steal their goodies?”

Victoria : “Yeah.”

Rachel : “Alright. So , why would he want to do that when he can just buy his own?”

Victoria : “Because he’s not satisfied with his own cookies and donuts and eggnog. He wants everyone else’s cookies and donuts and eggnog. He’s a glutton and wants to stuff himself with everyone else’s goodies , because he knows he can’t eat America’s kids and get away with it , so this is how he’s going to make up for it. Everyone knows he hates Christmas , and doesn’t want anyone to celebrate the holidays , not even his own family. Christmas trees have been banned at the White House , and so are Christmas cards , decorations , and everything else to do with Christmas. Even Santa’s not allowed in the White House. Every year he dresses up like the Grinch and forces his own kids to watch How The Grinch Stole Christmas , both the cartoon and the Jim Carrey movie , on TV – which is his favorite movie , because he hates Christmas – and then he pretends to give them gifts , and then snatches them away as he laughs like Jim Carrey in the movie. It’s amazing how much he sounds like him. For the past seven years he’s been practicing for his role as the real life Grinch. Only next year , it will be for real. Before he leaves the White House , he plans on visiting every house in the world , after Santa has left his presents and goodies for all the good little girls and boys. And that will be the end of Christmas that Christians have always known would happen because of Obama The Grinch.”

Rachel : “You’re either making it  up , or this time you really are on drugs. It sounds ridiculous.”

Victoria : “It may sound ridiculous , but Obama’s a Grinch and wants to ban Christmas , eat  everyone’s Christmas cookies and donuts , drink their eggnog , and steal their Christmas presents. And that’s a fact.”


Posted in Tomi Lahren

Tomi Lahren : White Privilege Barbie

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“You black people have it so easy. Stop talking about racism. I don’t want to hear it.”

  Meet Tomi Lahren. She’s the new White Privilege Barbie. She’s currently employed by The Blaze network , where Truth Definitely Does Not Live.

Recently Tomi tweeted something stupid and insulting about the Black Lives Matter movement , calling them the New KKK , and that their goal was not equality. Intelligent people with common sense , called her out , while those who have no sense , common or otherwise , agreed with her , and praised her as if she made any sense at all.

In Tomi’s world , the world inhabited by many like her , racism no longer exists in America , because a black man currently resides in the White House. The only racism that Tomi sees is reverse racism. In this case , Black Lives Matter , and black people in general who complain about other black people getting shot or killed by law enforcement for no good reason.  People like Michael Brown , who was shot with his hands in the air , or Eric Garner who was choked to death for selling cigarettes , Freddy Gray who’s spine was severed , and Tamir Rice who was shot for playing with a toy gun.

She either doesn’t see , or chooses to ignore the racism that many in the black community face every day. The individual and institutional racism prevalent in law enforcement , the criminal justice system , housing , employment , and education. When black actors , athletes , and politicians claim that this is an issue in their community , people like Tomi accuse them of race-baiting.

The only racism Tomi sees is against white people who have , since the first election of a black president , somehow become the new victims of racism.

What a sad world Tomi lives in , a world inside her own head , where Black Lives Matter is like the New KKK , and are a terrorist hate group because they want law enforcement to be held accountable.

Posted in Tomi Lahren

Dumb Blonde Shreds Obama , Beyonce , And Jesse Williams In Epic Rant : Says What Other Idiots Are Thinking

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“Stop talking about racism , black people. Get over yourselves. I won’t apologize for my whiteness.”

You may have recently heard of Tomi Lahren. She’s one of the Right’s newest young voices in race-baiting.

Tomi graduated from Central High , and later from UNLV in Las Vegas. She later moved to San Diego , California where she was soon offered her own show with One America News. While hosting her own show , On Point With Tomi Lahren , she delivered her senseless , absurd anti-Obama rant , in response to the Chattanooga shootings. She quickly launched into a tirade against Barack Obama , blaming him for the shooting deaths of four  Marines.

This is the typical go to response from Conservatives. Blame the president for every Muslim related – and non-related – shooting simply because he refuses to utter the magic words , “radical Islamic terrorism” , which to them is proof that he is soft on and has a friendly to jihadis mentality. Never mind that Obama has ordered thousands of air strikes against ISIS. This is his “halfbaked , be friendly to jihadis” mentality? Is she really this stupid?

This fact doesn’t even register in the minds of people like Lahren. Facts in general , when it comes to his foreign policy , don’t matter. They would rather believe that Barack Obama is on the side of radical Islamic terrorists , and that he’s playing footsies with ISIS , while he silently cheers them on as they run amok , or that he doesn’t give a damn about terrorism because he hates America. Both of which are insane.

Some of these people actually believe that ISIS has training camps here in the United States. Her current employer , Glen Beck – who once claimed that Obama has a deep seated hatred of white people and white culture – claimed last year on his radio show , that ISIS had set up camp in Mexico , eight miles from the southern border. Beck’s source was Judicial Watch , the snot rag published by Pamela Geller.

The fact that someone has a college education , doesn’t necessarily mean they are intelligent. And Tomi is no exception. She’s not intelligent enough to see things objectively , especially when it comes to politics. Her emotions and prejudices blind her to reality , which is most likely the reason Glen Beck hired her at The Blaze , where Truth Does Not Live.

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Yes , she really said that.

Her other rants on Beyonce , and Jesse Williams were just as absurd. Tomi , like most Conservatives of her mindset , feel uncomfortable with liberal black folk  discussing racial issues , unless they’re Conservatives. Only Conservatives can talk about race. Otherwise they’re just race-baiting and need to shut up. And Apparently it’s race-baiting when black performers complain about  unarmed black men and women getting shot by police offers ; it’s race-baiting when protesting the shooting death of Michael Brown ; it’s race-baiting when criticizing the shooting of a twelve year old boy who was playing with a toy gun ; it’s race-baiting when questioning the death of Sandra Bland ; and it’s race-baiting when a bi-racial president has the audacity to say he could have had a son like Trayvon Martin. But it’s not race-baiting when Tomi Lahren says that Black Lives Matter is the New KKK?

Was she suggesting that Freddie Gray was responsible for his death?

Was she suggesting that Eric Garner was responsible for his death?

Was she suggesting that Tamir Rice was responsible for his death?

Was she suggesting that Alton Sterling , and Philando Castile were responsible for their deaths?

Or was she suggesting that black people are actively lynching and murdering white people?

Black Lives Matter are the New KKK? Really? Not only is that irresponsible to say , but it’s insulting. It’s insulting to those who actually were lynched and murdered by the KKK simply because of the color of their skin.

If anything , it’s the idiots who listen to and believe the Bullshit that comes out of the mouth of Tomi Lahren , and others like her , that are the New KKK , and Tomi is their new face.

Posted in Ted Nugent

Ted’s World


   Aviary Photo_131128341725895249  Once upon a time , Ted Nugent must have been a  decent human being. In his younger days , he was also a half way decent musician. He was a member of the Amboy Dukes in the mid sixties to the mid seventies. They recorded four albums , Amboy Dukes , Journey To The Center Of The Mind ,  Migration , and Rusty Day. Going solo in ’75 , he signed with Epic Records , and soon after recorded such decent hits as Cat Scratch Fever , Stranglehold , and Free For All. He has released approximately thirty-four records and sold a total of thirty million world wide.

In 1989 he became a member of Damn Yankees with Jack Blades of Night Ranger , and Tommy Shaw of Styx , releasing a self-titled debut , which contained the moderate hit , High Enough.

These days Ted is a hateful , angry little man.  He spends a great deal of his time insulting liberals , women , minorities , the president , and anyone who disagrees with his twisted vision of America.

Ted lives in a special world inside his head , a world inhabited by angry voices  that tell him liberals are anti-American , and the president is a communist raised , communist educated , communist nurtured , sub-human mongrel. Facts are impervious to Ted ; hate is all he understands. Hatred of liberals , hatred of the president , hatred of gays , women , and minorities. Hatred of others unlike himself seems to be a passion of his , and Ted will seize on the chance to hate on anyone who doesn’t share his sacred belief in the second amendment.

Ted’s Craziest Hits 

Like any Conservative who lives in Ted’s world , he suffers from Obama and Liberal Derangement.  He’s said some crazy shit that any sane person would find disturbing. But many of Ted’s fans and fellow Conservatives are just as insane as he is , and nothing he says is too outrageous or controversial.

  • Trayvon Martin got what he deserved. In a article that was laden with irony , Nugent accused Obama of causing a surge in black racism for refusing to admit that Martin was responsible for his fate. According to Ted , who has nary a racist bone in his body , Martin was the real racist for referring to Zimmerman as a “creepy ass cracker.”
    Since Obama’s first election , racists like uncle Ted have frequently played the victim card of “black racism against whites”, which is laughable.
  • Ted is Rosa Parks with a Gibson. In his October 30 , 2013 column in World Nut Daily , he compared himself to civil rights activist , Rosa Parks , which is also laughable. He later called gun rights owners the next Rosa Parks’ , who will take their seat at the front of the bus , which is even more laughable.
  • Claimed he participated in raids with federal authorities. Ted Nugent was once a cop , or so he claimed. He said he conducted raids in Lake County , Michigan , with federal agents , including the FBI , ATF , DEA , U.S. Marshals , and the Texas Rangers. The thing is Politifact investigated  and could find no evidence of these claims.
  • Obama hates America because gun reform is tyrannical. Patriotic gun nuts resist any form of gun control , believing that it violates their second amendment rights , which is ridiculous , which proves most of them are too dangerous to own guns.
  •  Obama is a sub-human mongrel. In a 2014 interview with he called the president less than human , which according to Ted was totally not racist. He later claimed it was street fighter terminology. Yeah , right Ted.
  • Referred to the president as a POS. During a 2007 concert , he insulted Obama by telling him to suck on the barrel of his machine gun. He also insulted Hillary Clinton and Barbara Boxer as worthless whores and bitches.
  • If you hate me , you hate America. In a ridiculous interview with Joe Pags , Ted claimed that those who hate him , hate America , while spewing his own hatred of Hillary Clinton , and Bernie Sanders , completely oblivious to the glaring irony. Self-described patriots like Ted , and others like him ,  love to brag about their love of America and the Constitution , even as they whine and complain about how Obama , liberals , and gays are subverting their religious liberty , as they themselves are working  to deny others their rights. The hypocrisy is mind blowing.
  • Compares liberals to rabid dogs that should be shot. During an interview with wacko Alex Jones on his show Info Wars , Nugent succinctly used the analogy of the film Old Yeller when dealing with liberals. Like the dog that became rabid , he suggested that the only way to deal with them was to shoot them between the eyes. But of course , Ted wasn’t really talking about shooting those who don’t share his politics … except he was.
  • Promised he would either be dead or in jail. During the NRA’s 2012 annual meeting in April , 2012 , he said he would either be dead or in jail by April of 2013 if Obama was re-elected. Apparently he was expecting to be assasinated or thrown into prison for his patriotic opposition to the Chicago-ACORN gangster , America hating , communist loving Barack Obama.
    When April 2013 came and went , Ted was neither dead nor in jail. He failed to keep his promise , much to the disappointment of liberals and progressives.
  •  Ted the birther. In another World Nut Daily article , again dripping with irony ,  Nugent ranted against the “phony” – which he used redundantly – president for his phony health care scam , his involvement with phony Reverend Wright , his phony Attorney General who refused to indict his Black Panther buddies for voter intimidation fraud , his phony charges against George Zimmerman , his phony Nobel Peace prize , allowing his phony Secretary Of State to get off with out charges , his phony scandals ( IRS , Obama Care , Benghazi ).
    Let’s be honest here , Ted is in no way whatsoever , a racist. He’s just a concerned patriot , like Joe Arpaio , and thousands of other patriots , that know for a fact that Obama’s birth certificate was just as phony as he is.

What happened to Ted that turned him into the hateful person he is today? Was he dropped on his head as a child once too often , causing irreparable brain damage? Did his father beat him? Was he in too many fist fights as a boy? Or did the election of Barack Obama send him over the edge? 

We may never know. But it’s clear that he’s either insane , or his brain has been damaged somewhere along the way.