Posted in John Hawkins

Twenty Reasons To Despise Barack Obama … Part 2

aviary-photo_131183778303370941There are more reasons to dislike Barack Obama than I can count. It would take me years to list them all , but for the sake of this article I will choose the twenty most despicable ones I can think of.

  1. He’s anti-Christmas : Since the Obama’s entered the White House , they have shown their disdain for Christmas. No one is allowed to say Merry Christmas in the White House , the Christmas tree has been banned , and everyone must say Happy Holidays in public to please the Dictator In Chief.
  2. He’s a Muslim jihadi : It’s no secret that Barack Obama is a Muslim , and that he favors his Muslim brothers over Americans , and that he has a friendly to Muslim jihadis mentality. It’s clear that his goal is to allow them to cross the borders and set up camps all across America. It’s just a matter of time before they kill us all , turn our kids into gay Muslim jihadis and set up a caliphate.
  3. Allowed four Americans to die in Benghazi : Four brave Americans were murdered by friends and relatives of Obama , supposedly over a video. Conservatives who have been paying attention , know that it had nothing to do with a video. The real reason they were left to die was because Obama was running weapons , flowers , candy , and love letters to his radical Muslim buddies in Syria , and Ambassador Stevens was aware of this , so Obama had him and the other three killed to keep them from talking.
  4. He loves Marxism : His parents read Mein Kampf, and Karl Marx to him as two of his favorite bed time stories. This is most likely where he learned to love Marxism , and Nazism , and couldn’t wait to be president so he could practice both ideologies.
  5. Has taken an unprecedented amount of vacations : It seems that ever since Obama has been in the White House , he has managed to get very little work done , and has taken one extravagant and lavish vacation after another , all at the tax payers’ expense. Liberals often claim that Bush took more vacations. The truth is , Bush worked more , and vacationed less often. The Obama’s have vacationed a hundred times more often. It’s a proven fact.
  6. Plays way too much golf : Another past time that Obama has a habit of spending too much time at , and always when the world is falling to pieces.
  7. Was recruited by Bill Ayers and company as a member of the Weather Underground : During the 2008 elections Sarah Palin accused Barack Obama of paling around with terrorists. She was correct , as well-informed Conservatives suspected. He lied about not being closely associated with Ayers. It’s clear that Ayers recruited him to help them plant bombs and kill people during the Vietnam era.
  8. Will outlaw guns any day now : It’s just a matter of time before he uses his mighty pen once again and decides that the second amendment is no longer valid. Then every patriotic , law-abiding gun owner will be tossed into Fema/Wal-Mart stores where they will save less , and live like slaves.
  9. Is bringing millions of Muslims across the borders : Most Americans know that Obama is allowing his Muslim buddies to cross our borders unchecked , and that very soon they will take over America , and install a caliphate. They already have sharia law and no go zones in every state.
  10. Stole the elections : Every well-informed American knows that Barack Obama got into the White House by having ACORN , Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead – real dead people – steal the elections for him. That’s a known fact.
Posted in John Hawkins, satire

Twenty Reasons To Despise Barack Obama … Part 1

 

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John Hawkins

   There are many reasons to despise Barack Obama. Since appearing on the political scene as a presidential candidate , he has lied to the American people about everything under the sun , and not only betrayed them , but the Constitution for which he has sworn to uphold , which he has literally shredded with impunity.

Here are the first ten reasons every patriotic American should despise Barack Obama.

  1. He was born in Kenya : Conservatives had it right from the beginning. Obama was ( and is ) a foreigner. He was never qualified to be president. His birth certificate proved it.
  2. He’s a Muslim : Liberals have falsely accused Conservatives of falsely accusing Obama of being a Muslim. Which is false.
  3. He’s gay : Conservatives have always know that Obama is secretly gay. His affair with Larry Sinclair , when he was a Senator , proved it. As did his other numerous homosexual affairs.
  4. He’s the Anti-Christ : Every true Christian in America knows that Barack Obama is Satan’s right hand man. All that’s left is for him to reveal the truth to the world.
  5. He’s racist : Obama has made it clear from the beginning that he hates white people. Glen Beck said it best when he described the president as a white culture hating racist. Even his defense of a known thug like Trayvon Martin , proved just how racist he is.
  6. He’s a socialist : Well-informed Conservatives know that Obama care is socialized health care , even though liberals are in denial.
  7. He’s just like Hitler : Since Obama took over the White House , he’s proven that his pen and phone are mightier than the law.
  8. He’s anti-Christian : For seven years Obama has spoken out against  , and persecuted Christians at every turn. He’s banned Bibles and religious symbols in the military , the White House , prayer is outlawed in schools , and Christians can no longer mention God in public places without fear of persecution.
  9. He hates America : Obama has always hated America. He has proved this in a number of ways. Putting his foot up on the Oval Office desk ; wearing a tan suit ; eating a hamburger with Dijon mustard instead of ketchup , and golfing too much.
  10. He’s a Martian : Barack Obama may be My Favorite Martian to liberals , but to Conservatives who know the truth about him , know that he is a dictator who the CIA trained on a secret mission to Mars.
Posted in Barack Obama

Crazy Obama Conspiracies and Controversies

 

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For eight years Republicans have created and promoted a ridiculous mythology of fake scandals and controversies surrounding Barack Obama. The majority of these controversies involve the most absurd nonsense that any sane person would consider laughable , but Republicans manage to muster up enough outrage to flip out over.

  • He’s a foreigner , born in Kenya , not qualified to be president. It made no difference that his mother Ann Dunham was an American citizen , as is required by the Constitution. Nor did his birth certificate ; it was still fake.
  • He’s a Muslim who attended a radical Madrasa , a school for Islamic terrorists where he learned to hate America.
  • He’s a socialistcommunistMarxist who ran around in his child hood planting explosives and killing people with Bill Ayers ; was radicalized by other avowed communists  Frank Marshall Davis ( who according to some was his real father ) , Saul Alinsky , and ACORN.
  • He stole the elections with the help of Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless , illegal immigrants , the walking dead , ACORN , and Saul Alinsky.
  • Has a friendly to Muslim jihadists mentality. The most radical Conservatives believe that Muslim no go zones and sharia law actually exist in the United States. They also believe he  favors Muslim terrorists even as he’s dropping bombs on them.
  • As Commander-In-Chief he hates his own military , and is cutting it to the bone , despite the fact that more money is put into military spending than all programs combined. Obama has somehow still managed to weaken it.
  • Hates Christians , and is persecuting them by censoring all public religious practice , and thought.
  • Hates Christmas , and has waged an all out war against it by denying Christians the right to say Merry Christmas.
  • He’s gay. Has had several gay lovers before running for president.
  • He’s racist. His criticism of the white cop who arrested Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates attempting to break into his own home , which prompted Glenn Beck to declare that Obama is a white culture hating racist , and which the Conservative media latched onto as proof that he was prejudiced against white people. See also his comments on the Trayvom Martin controversy as more apparent idiotic proof of his racism. His attendance in Reverend Jeremiah Wright’s Trinity Church Of Christ , also supposedly proved that he’s a radical racist Muslim who supports the Black Panthers and hates America.
  • Hates the second amendment and wants to disarm America so radical Islam can take over and make the U.S. an Islamic caliphate.
  • He’s apologized for Americas greatness , which is why during his campaign speeches he praised Americas greatness , superiority and exceptionalism , because he hates America. Ted Cruz and other idiots Republicans have claimed that Obama has spent his entire eight years as president apologizing  for Americas transgressions , even though PolitiFact has rated those claims as false.
  • He’s like a Nazi dictator because Obama Care , same-sex marriage , abortion and executive action are apparently no different than what Hitler did.
  • Is weak on foreign policy , because he prematurely pulled the troops out of Iraq , despite the fact that there was a Status Of Forces agreement signed by George Bush , that all American forces must vacate by the end of 2011 ; he also refuses to say the magic words “Radical Islamic terrorism.”
  • Benghazi. He gave a stand down order that allowed four Americans to die , which is further evidence that he’s a Muslim terrorist sympathizer. A number of Congressional reports have contradicted the conspiracies.
  • Fast And Furious. He deliberately gave guns to Mexican drug cartels ,  as a means to disarm every law-abiding gun owner to implement gun confiscation and martial law , which is also further proof that he hates America. A DOJ report contradicted the conspiracies.
  • Teleported to Mars in his youth as a participant in some vague experiment known as project Pegasus. See Barack Obama Goes To Mars.
  • Is in league with The Muslim Brotherhood and has allowed them to infiltrate the White House and every facet of society in America , because he’s a Muslim.
  • Bringing tens of millions of Muslims across the borders , who are really radical Islamist terrorists.
  • Is a lizard king , or queen , from the fourth dimension , or whatever. See David Icke’s Children Of The Matrix  , and Gork From Zork : The Truth About Barack Obama  , Cross Dressing Lizard Queen From Planet Zork.
  • Can brainwash the masses , by reading people’s minds , but is so inept that he needs a teleprompter.
  • His real father was either Frank Marshall Davis , or Malcom X. claimed Pamela Geller of Judicial Watch. Just one more piece of evidence that he’s a radical America hating communist.
  • Latte Salute Gate. Conservative media was outraged over a photo of Obama saluting marines with a coffee cup in his hand. More evidence of his disrespect for men and women in uniform and his obvious hatred of them , and the military. Bill Maher on an episode of Politically Incorrect , suggested that those offended should marry their teddy bears.
  • Feet Gate. More conservative media outrage because he had the audacity to put his foot on that most sacred relic , the Oval office desk. According to Andrea King of World Nut Daily , he was sending Islamic jihadists a secret message , because , apparently as everyone knows , jihadists consider the soles of the feet as the ultimate sign of disrespect. Hence , Obama was showing his Muslim homies how much he hates America. Glen Beck was so outraged that he suggested the president resign in disgrace. The folks at Twitchy , the racist social media site run by racist Michelle Malkin also got into the bitch fest , as did their equally racist followers on twitter.
  • Burger/Mustard Gate. Fox pundits and viewers were offended that president Obama dare put Dijon mustard on a hamburger instead of regular mustard , like a real American obviously would.  Laura Ingraham hinted that Obama wasn’t a real man because he chose not to add ketchup to his burger. Mark Steyn claimed he was trying to enlighten everyone with his order because he’s an elitist pretending to be a regular Joe. He was deeply offended that the president was crashing in as the Grey Poupon spokes person because it’s always been foreigners who had that role for years.
  • Had Breitbart murdered. Breitbart died of natural causes , but for wing nuts that wasn’t good enough of an explanation for his untimely death. Apparently Obama had him murdered because he had some damning evidence that turned out not to be so damning after all.
  • Scalia Gate. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia passed away February 15 from natural causes at a Texas ranch while on a hunting trip. Apparently a pillow was discovered to be partially covering his head. This of course , was enough evidence to convince  wing nuts to speculate that Obama had him killed. Christian lunatic , Rick Wiles claimed Obama had him killed as a sacrifice to Satan. Ted Nugent tweeted that conspiracy site Investment Watch blog knew the true motive behind his death. Alex Jones was convinced he was killed to further Obama’s anti-gun , pro socialist agenda. Lunatic radio host , Michael Savage suggested that there be a Warren Commission-style investigation into Scalia’s death.
  • Vacation Gate. For years Conservatives have been obsessed and even outraged that Obama would have the audacity to be on vacation when the world is falling apart. They’ve even been outraged that he would even take a vacation. They had no problem when George Bush took one , like that time when New Orleans’ residents drowned during hurricane Katrina. See also , Obama Is A Psychopath Because He Takes Vacations And Plays Golf.
  • Golf Gate. Playing golf is another pet peeve that Obama haters have against the current president. It’s not like the former president ever played a round of golf. The consensus is that he would rather be playing a few rounds than doing his job , meaning he’s just lazy and doesn’t know how to do his job , and hasn’t got a clue as to what’s going on in the world. According to Katie Pavlich , and Gina Loudon , Obama will gladly kill anyone to play golf with liberal elites like Jack Nicklaus and Stephen King , and that he had Scalia killed in hopes of putting  a liberal judge on the Supreme Court. See Golf Gate : Barack Obama’s Third Bloodiest Scandal.

According to many Conservatives who hate Obama , most of these actions prove that he hates America. But all they really prove is overt  racism toward  a black man with a Muslim name who had the audacity to run for president of the United States , and win … twice.

Posted in Victoria Jackson

Excerpts From Victoria Jackson’s Book ‘Bye Bye America Died , That Was The Day That I Cried And I Cried’ … Part 3

Continued from chapter 1 :

Night Of The Twerking Dead

“We may be weird , but Obama’s president another four years , and I can’t stop crying!!!!”

“And I can’t stop tooting.”

Paul released a particularly loud and long one , the loudest and longest I had ever hear him do.

“Oh my God!” Aubrey said , ran to her room and slammed the door.

“Don’t take that tone of voice with me , missy!” I said.

“Help , I can’t get up.”

“Can’t you see I’m busy crying?!” I wailed. “What are you , a child?”

I had better things to do than help my whiny husband off the floor. I had people to call and people to complain to.

I called my mom first. “Mom , Obama’s president another four years and I can’t stop crying!!”

“What’s that dear?”

“I said Obama’s -“

“Speak up dear , I can’t hear you.”

“Turn the volume on your hearing aid up , ma!!”

“It’s all the way up dear! What is it?”

“I said Obama’s president another four years and I can’t stop crying!”

“And I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”

“Shut up , Paul! I’m not helping you up. You’re a grown man , not an eighty year old woman!”

“What dear?!” My mom screamed over the phone.

“What’s all that noise I hear in the background , ma?!”

“Just a few people.”

“Are you having a party , ma?!”

“Yeah , Obama’s president another four years and we can’t stop celebrating!”

She blew one of those air horn thingies , nearly deafening me.

“Jesus Christ , ma! What the hell was that?!”

“What’s that , dear?”

I screamed , threw my phone on the floor and stomped on it.

Aubrey came running out of her room again. “Now what’s the matter?”

“Your grandmother is celebrating Obama’s reelection and I’m so damn mad!”

“Oh my God , it’s the end of the world.”

“I can’t get up!”

“I said , shut up , Paul!!”

Posted in John Hawkins, satire

Fifty Reasons Never To Trust A Liberal ( Or Why I Hate Liberals ) Part 5

Aviary Photo_131084280134720361  Everyone knows I hate liberals. They’re a crap stain on this country. An embarrassment to real Americans who love this great nation , which was founded on Christian principles. Liberals don’t love America ; they hate it with every fiber of their diarreah being , and are destroying it just by living here.

Let’s get to the final ten reasons why I hate liberals and wouldn’t trust one not to sexually molest me even if I begged one to , which I would never do anyway , because they’re all gay.

1) Liberals love to play golf. Like Obama , most liberals can usually be found on a green playing a few rounds. And Like Obama – and ostriches – liberals would rather bury their heads in the sand than face their problems head on. What better way to ignore your problems than playing a few holes while your life is falling apart?

2) Liberals take more vacations. Like Obama , liberals take more vacations than Conservatives and will gladly murder anyone who criticizes them for taking one. It’s a known fact. Studies have proved it.

3) Liberals stink. Literally. Scratch a liberal and underneath you will find an animal crawling with fleas and ticks , like a family pet. But your average dog or cat off the street is cleaner than your average liberal.

4) Liberals are space cadets.  Liberals live in their own world , a world that exists in their own minds , a world also inhabited by Daffy Duck  … and Barack Obama.

5) Liberals have their noses permanently glued to Obama’s rear end. Literally. Another reason why they stink.

6) Liberals claim atheism is not a religion. They couldn’t be more wrong. Atheism is a belief system like any other religion. In fact it’s literally a belief in the Devil.

7) Liberals believe universities are institutions of learning and education. This is partially true. Not too long ago , universities were indeed places of learning. These days they are full of liberal bias and poison , nothing more than indoctrination centers for communist and Nazi propoganda.

8) Liberals eat brains. In addition to eating babies and puppies , human brains are also a part of their daily diet.

9) Liberals are cross dressers. It’s a known fact that liberals like to dress up in women’s clothing , because they’re perverts. This behavior is most likely due to childhood memory when they secretly wore their mothers’ clothing. No wonder they become gay as adults.

10) Liberals are bullies. Liberals are literally forcing their immoral behavior and beliefs on everyone else. You must believe what they believe , or else. Several examples of this are same-sex marriage , bestiality , and Islam.

And there you have it. Fifty reasons why I hate liberals , and wouldn’t trust one if he or she was the last one on earth and begged me to.