Fifty Reasons Never To Trust A Liberal ( Or Why I Hate Liberals ) Part 1

 

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John Hawkins , Ringwing News

There are many reasons not to trust a liberal. They’re stupid , they’re ugly , they stink … I could go on and on. In short , liberals are a joke , a living caricature of a cartoon character. Like Wile E. Coyote forever attempting to capture the road runner , or the Three Stooges bumbling their way through life , liberals can do nothing right. They are the embodiment of everything wrong with society.

 Liberals foolishly believe that being a progressive is a noble cause , not realizing that progressivism is a destructive , evil force that is ruining America.

The very world “liberal” is an aberration in and of itself. It is literally a mental disorder. It’s a fact. Studies have proved it. And with this list , I intend to prove my case.

1.) Liberals drive on the wrong side of the road. Studies have proven that liberals cause more accidents than Conservative drivers , because they get confused about which direction they’re driving in , and will often turn off on the wrong side of the road , because they suck at driving , because they’re liberals , and because they’re basically brain-dead for voting for Obama. So , if you see a liberal on the road , pray to God they don’t run you over.

2.) Liberals will eat your kids. According to statistics and studies , liberals would rather eat their own kids than turkey at Thanksgiving. And they won’t even say grace before they do , proving that they lack any morals.

3.) Liberals believe in global warming , as if it’s a fact. If global warming is real , why does it snow?

4.) Liberals believe the earth is 4.5 billion years old. Conservative studies have proven this to be a myth. The earth is actually no more than six thousand years old. It says so in the Bible. The Bible is the word of God , and God doesn’t lie.

5.) Liberals are crooks. Liberals are criminals by birth. It’s in their genes. Because they are so mean-spirited , unhappy , and Godless , they have no concept of morality , and hence , they commit the most crimes. It’s a fact. It’s in their nature.

6.) Liberals would gladly sacrifice your kids and their own to Obama. They are fiercely loyal to their master. They would happily do anything he asked of them , even if it were to eat every single kid , dog , cat , horse , parakeet … and all the sushi in America.

7.) They would happily sniff Obama’s rear end if he passed wind. It’s no secret that liberals are disgusting and believe flatulence is hilarious. If your wise , you would do well to avoid being around a liberal when they pass gas , as the stink will surely kill you.

8.) They lie. Republicans are perfect , therefore they don’t lie.

9.) They eat sushi. Only liberals are stupid enough to eat raw fish.

10.) Liberals are sex obsessed. Because they are obsessed with pornography , they tend to be pedophiles , rapists , misogynists , and engage in excessive orgies with each other , animals , sex dolls , and microwave ovens.

And there you have it. The first ten reasons never to trust a liberal.

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