How Barack Obama Really Stole The Elections : God Told Me Julio Made Him Do It

Tea Party conservatives have believed for years that Barack Obama is a phony and a fraud. They believe he won the elections with the help of his communist friends in Acorn , with Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless of America , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead – not the TV series. How else could he have become president? After all , he’s not really an American , according to birthers , many of whom still insist that he was really born in Kenya to communist parents , and personally mentored by Bill Ayers , Saul Alinsky , and Frank Marshall Davis , who were also communists.

Then there are  those who believe that he won the elections through a much more sinister method. To them , the elections were manipulated by the mole beside Obama’s nose  , otherwise known as Julio Obama , Barack’s evil twin brother , who , according to Victoria Jackson , is the Anti-Christ.

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Victoria Jackson. Insane Tea Party patriot. Frequent and favorite guest of the Fox News audience.

Victoria , an insane Tea Party patriot , and conservative blogger , has convinced many of her fellow party members and legions of fans that she is quite sane. She’s written several gems about Barack Obama , including , Barack’s Magic Pen , and To Serve Obama. She’s appeared several times on Fox to promote her ridiculous books. Her latest book , even more insane than her last one , How Barack Obama Really Stole The Elections : God Told Me Julio Made Him Do It , is scheduled to be released by Obama Haters Tea Party Patriot Survival Club , early next year.

 She’s appeared numerous times on Fox’s The Kelly File , with Megan Kelly. Recently she  was invited back to talk about her latest gem. Apparently , her fans still can’t get enough of her , and are just as insane as she is.

Megan : “Victoria , welcome back.”

Victoria : “Thanks for having me back again , Megan. I really appreciate it.”

Megan : “Well , like I said last time you were here , don’t thank me. It wasn’t my idea to have you here. The only reason you’re here is because every time you make an appearance , the ratings sky-rocket. You have your fans to thank for that.”

Victoria : “How nice.”

Megan : “The last time you were here , you said president Obama won the elections through voter fraud , with his communist friends in Acorn , and also with Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead -“

Victoria : “Not the TV show.”

Megan : “Not the TV show. But , the last time you were on Hannity , you said that the mole beside the president’s nose – “

Victoria : “Julio.”

Megan : Julio. Is the Anti-Christ.”

Victoria : “Yes , that’s right.”

Megan : “I can’t believe I’m about to ask this. Was he also involved in the plot to rig the elections?”

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Megan still can’t believe how crazy Victoria Jackson is , and how anyone can possibly find her credible , as she shamelessly hawks her latest idiotic and insane book – How Barack Obama Really Stole The Elections : God Told Me Julio Made Him Do It – on The Kelly File.

Victoria : “Of course , he was. It was all his idea. You see , Obama isn’t smart enough to think of it on his own , even though liberals and progressives – who are really communists – claim he was a constitutional scholar. He really wasn’t. He really doesn’t know anything about it , which is why he’s always shredding it , because he’s incompetent. To prove just how incompetent he is  , do you know that he recently shredded the constitution in a salad and fed it to his family , and communist friends , the Democrats? Yeah , he really did! Anyway , it was Julio Obama’s idea to rig the elections.”

Megan : “And how do you know all of this?”

Victoria : “Didn’t you read the book?”

Megan : “No , I haven’t. I still haven’t finished the last one.”

Victoria : “Why not?”

Megan : “Well … to be honest ,  it’s kind of  idiotic , and insane.”

Victoria : “No , it’s not , it’s the truth. You would know that if you bothered to read it.”

Megan : “I promise to read it , after I finish with the last one. Now tell me , how do  you know all of this?”

Victoria : “Oh , alright. But you better read both of them , or I swear this is the last time you’ll see me here.”

Megan : “I doubt that.”

Victoria : “God told me.”

Megan : “God told you?”

Victoria : “Yes , God told me.”

Megan : “God told you that Obama rigged the elections? God told you that the president’s mole is the Anti-Christ?”

Victoria : “No , Megan , haven’t you been paying attention?! Jeez! God told me that Obama rigged the elections , but he didn’t tell me that Julio Obama is the Anti-Christ. You really need to get out more! Someone I met at a FBI meeting told me that Julio is Obama’s … wait … Obama’s mole is … the Anti-Christ. Yeah , that’s it.”

Megan : “Alright. So , let me see if I can get this straight. God told you that the president rigged the elections , but someone  else told you that Julio Obama – his mole – is the Anti-Christ?”

Victoria : “That’s right.”

Megan : “So , you met this stranger who told you that Obama’s mole is the Anti-Christ , and that its name is Julio , and you believed it? How do you know they weren’t  making it up just to get a reaction out of you? I mean , you’ve promoted some crazy ideas before. Maybe they were just putting you on.”

Victoria : “What crazy ideas? Everything I’ve said about Obama is the truth. And his moles name really is Julio! God told me that , too!”

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Megan laughing hysterically at hearing how Victoria learned that God told her Obama’s mole was named Julio.

Megan ( laughing ) : ‘Oh , my God! Oh , Lord! Oh , Jesus Christ , God almighty! Jesus , Mary , and Joseph! ( she laughs so hard that she nearly falls out of her seat ) OK , Well , I’m confused again. More than I was the last time you were here. You said God told you that Obama rigged the elections , but before that , you said he wasn’t smart enough  , that it was all Julio’s idea. Did God tell you that , too , or did you figure that out on your own?” ( she bursts out laughing again , and this time she does fall out of her seat ).

Megan : “Julio made him do it! Oh , God! That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard!” ( another fit of laughter ).

Victoria : “It’s not funny , Megan! There’s no reason to be so mean!”

Megan : “I’m not being mean , I’m just – ” ( she bursts out laughing again ).

Victoria : “I warned you , Megan. This is my last appearance on your show.”

Megan : “Oh , I seriously doubt that , Victoria.”

Victoria : “Oh yeah? Watch me.”

 

 

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