For more than a decade , the conservative media has portrayed Christians in America under attack from the secular liberal progressive media , and atheists , with their fictitious war on Christmas. It’s become more prominent since Obama took office. It’s become an annual tradition , usually with Fox News and Bill O’Reilly leading the way. It’s obviously a ratings ploy , but many of them do believe there is an actual war on Christmas.
The evidence is obvious – at least to anyone who lives in a Fantasy Land , which is where many conservatives choose to live. To them , anyone who dares to say Happy Holidays , instead of Merry Christmas , must be part of a communist liberal plot to destroy Christmas. It’s ridiculous , as anyone who lives in the actual world knows , but to those who watch Fox News , Glen Beck , and listen to Rush Limbaugh , it’s a matter of fact. The roots of this nonsense goes back to 1959 , when Americas greatest self-proclaimed watchmen of freedom and liberty , the John Birch Society , published a pamphlet called There Goes Christmas. Since then , Christmas has been under attack from the evil forces of liberal communism.
The cast of Scrooges in the liberal war on Christmas include not only communists , but these evil Grinches :
- Wal–Mart. In 2005 , conservative groups went bonkers when the worlds largest retailer failed to use the term Merry Christmas in their advertising. Apparently saying Happy Holidays is a national disgrace to groups like the American Family Association , which prides itself on espousing family values , while having no clue as to what real family values are. These conservative religious groups use black mail and intimidation tactics to get what they want. Everyone must say Merry Christmas to please them , or they’re not true red-blooded Americans. This is the behavior of an authoritarian , a word they frequently love to throw at liberals and progressives. Most conservatives have no grasp of irony – at least those who suffer from ODS and LDS , Obama , and Liberal Derangement Syndromes. In 2006 , Wal-Mart gave in to their intimidation , announcing they would be using Merry Christmas , and the AFA , other groups , and their supporters jumped for joy. They literally turned cartwheels , danced in the streets , and thanked the Lord Almighty that Wal-Mart had seen the light. They had succeeded in saving Christmas – at least as far as Wal-Mart was concerned.
- Target was another retailer that was black mailed by the fine , upstanding citizens at American Family Association , in 2005. This time they managed to get approximately 700 , 000 signatures for their boycott. Almost immediately , Target also gave into the intimidation , announcing that they too would include Merry Christmas in all of their holiday endeavors , thus making American Family Association giddy with the spirit of a true Christmas that still has the word Christ in it. They had succeeded in saving Christmas again. Twice in one year!
- Best Buy. One of Americas biggest electronics retailers did not escape the holier than thou wrath of the AFA. Apparently the folks at BB decided that other religious holidays were just as important. This was an unforgivable sin to the AFA , who effectively threw a temper tantrum , and along with the Catholic League , and other conservative religious groups , placed BB and other retailers on their naughty or nice lists.
- The Gap. November , 2009 , the AFA launched and attack on the clothing chain for what they perceived as the censorship of the word Christmas by the company. What the AFA had apparently failed to notice , was that Christmas was mentioned several times on their website. November 24 , the Gap announced a Thanksgiving ad that would have a very Christmasy theme. Subsequently , the AFA dropped their boycott.
- Starbucks. Earlier this month , Starbucks became the latest Scrooges in the so-called war on Christmas when they apparently decided to stick with a plain red cup with no religious or holiday symbols. When Joshua Feurestein , a conservative Christian , bigot , and self-proclaimed internet sensation , found out about it , he blew his top. He then proceeded to post a video of his displeasure of Starbuck on his Facebook page , falsely accusing them of removing religious imagery from their cups , and calling for a boycott. When his fans and followers saw the video , they too blew their tops.
- Liberals in general. Conservatives who suffer from the dreaded ODS , and LDS , know that all liberals are evil , racist , America hating , Christmas hating Scrooges at heart. It’s a known fact , since they’re all communists. It’s in their nature , just as cravings are to an alcoholic or a junkie.
- Anyone who says Happy Holidays. See Liberals in general , Wal-Mart , Target , Gap , Starbucks , and Best Buy employees. See also the Obama’s.
- The Obama’s. To conservatives , the president is the Scrooge/Grinch-in-chief in the White House , and Michelle is Mother Scrooge/Grinch. They’ve been involved in a number of so-called scandals or controversies surrounding Christmas over the years. Every year around the holidays , the conservative media creates a fake controversy out of nothing to make it look like they hate Christmas. From the Christmas tree , and card controversies , to the Christmas tree tax of 2011 – which had nothing to do with Obama – to the ridiculous brouhaha from Breitfart over the so-called Mao Tse Tung ornament on the White House Christmas tree in 2009 – which turned out to be nothing more than a reproduction from an Andy Warhol painting. Obvious proof that the Obama’s are communists. More recently , Fox News reported another fake controversy , this one initiated by either the Obama’s themselves , or someone else , involving a plot to steal Christmas , assassinate Kris Kringle , and blow up the North Pole. In predictable fashion , Fox News fell for it , and are still unaware that it was a hoax , or are in complete denial. ( See , How Obama The Grinch Stole Christmas ).
In 2013 , Sarah Palin released her ridiculous book , Good Tidings And Great Joy , Protecting The Heart Of Christmas , in which she whines about atheists and liberals ruthlessly attacking the Christmas spirit , don’t chya know , because they’re communists. She’s written several other books , including , America By Heart , and Sarah Palin Uncut. There was even a book written about her timeless wisdom , The Witless Wisdom Of Sarah Palin. Her most recent book , How Obama The Grinch Stole Christmas … Again : The Secular Communist Liberal Medias War On Christmas , has just been released by the Disinformation Company.
She’s been featured numerous times on Fox News , and practically all over the communist liberal media. This year , just in time for the
holiday Thanksgiving/Christmas season , Rachel Maddow invited Sarah to her show to talk about the new book.
Rachel : “Welcome to the Rachel Maddow Show , Sarah.”
Sarah : “Thank you , Rachel. It’s great to be here.”
Rachel : “I read the book , Sarah , and I have to say it’s … wow … I can’t adequately describe just exactly what I think of it. Do you really believe the liberal media , and liberals in general have been waging a war against Christmas?”
Sarah : “Well , sure I do. Isn’t it obvious? All you have to do is look around. The evidence is everywhere. People are saying Happy Holidays – well , liberals are anyway – instead of Merry Christmas , every year. It’s really annoying to have to hear people say Happy Holidays all the time. It really knicks my knickers when I say Merry Christmas to somebody , and they say Happy Holidays back to me. It really steams my buns , creams my corn.
“Every year during the holiday – oops! – Christmas season , when I go into a retail store with my family , or by myself , I see all kinds of signs and Christmas displays with the words Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. If I’ve got Trig , or any of my grand kids with me , I have to cover their eyes so they won’t see those disrespectful words , and cover their ears when someone says Happy Holidays. God forbid they should hear those words too often. It very well might damage their precious souls for life , heaven forbid.
“Once , when Trig was five , we went to a Target , and they had this display of Santa and his reindeer flying over … wherever … and Trig he says to me , mom , does baby Jesus cry when people say Happy Holidays , and not Merry Christmas? And I said to him , yes , it makes him very sad. And he said , then why do they say Happy Holidays and not Merry Christmas , and I said , because the owners of this fine establishment are obviously communists , and they’re part of a plot to take Christ out of Christmas , and they don’t care if they make baby Jesus cry , that’s why , but they’ll never get away with it. That’s when I knew … when it suddenly hit me like a brick in the face , that the war on Christmas is no joke , like the liberals believe it is , but very real , and we Christians have to stay vigilant , and do everything we can to defend the sanctity of this holiest of holidays – oops! there’s that pesky word again! We have to make sure everyone says Merry Christmas , instead of Happy Holidays , because when someone says Happy Holidays , they’re being manipulated by the communists , they just don’t realize it , and they – the communists , and their cohorts , the liberals – will do everything they can to take Christ out of Christmas , and saying Happy Holidays is just a start.”
Rachel : “Interesting. Now , about the main title of the book. How is President Obama a Grinch , and how exactly did he steal Christmas?”
Sarah : “Isn’t that also obvious?”
Rachel : “No , it’s not. Please enlighten me.”
Sarah : “Well , for one thing , he hates Christians , and favors his Muslim brothers. You have to be willfully blind not to see it. He claims to be a Christian , but rarely goes to church. What does that tell you? It tells me that he pretends to be a Christian , but is really a Muslim at heart , who sides with Muslims who hate America , which is indicative of his hatred of America.”
Rachel : “Is that it?”
Sarah : “He not only hates America , but hates Christmas as well. He doesn’t celebrate Christmas like real Americans do. None of the Obama’s do. They don’t refer to their Christmas trees as Christmas trees , but Holiday trees , and they don’t have Christmas scenes on their cards , but pictures of their dogs , for God sake! What does that have to do with Christmas? What will they put on their cards this year , or next year , a picture of Sunny and Bo pooping under the White House Christmas tree to prove how much they hate it?”
Rachel : “I’ll ignore that. You just said they don’t celebrate Christmas.”
Sarah : “They don’t.”
Rachel : “But they have Christmas trees and Christmas cards. How is that not celebrating Christmas?”
Sarah : “Because they don’t call them Christmas trees and Christmas cards , but holiday trees and holiday cards.”
Rachel : “What difference does it make? They’re still celebrating Christmas.”
Sarah : “Not in my book they’re not.”
Rachel : “How would you know they don’t celebrate it? Do you live in the White House?”
Sarah : “No , but they hate Christmas , and that’s a fact.”
Rachel : “That’s just nonsense. But none of this explains how he stole Christmas.”
Sarah : “That’s even more obvious than anything else he’s done.”
Rachel : “Not to me it isn’t. Enlighten me some more.”
Sarah : “Well , Rachel , if this doesn’t convince you that he hates Christmas , nothing will. Last year there was a plot to assassinate Kris Kringle and blow up Santa’s Village , for God sake , and we know it came from the White House. That’s a fact.”
Rachel : “Yes , it did come from the White House , but it was a hoax. President Obama even admitted it was a hoax. Apparently , someone created – it’s not clear who was responsible – an elaborate hoax , and sent it by email to different conservative sources , and in typical fashion they fell for it and spread it all over the media and the internet.”
Sarah : “Wow , Rachel , no disrespect to you. But you obviously have your head up Barack Obama’s you-know-what. Which is where all his supporters have their heads. It was a very real plot. But they obviously got spooked and called it off , because Fox News discovered what they were up to.”
Rachel : “No , it was a hoax , and I don’t have my head up anyone’s you-know-what. But yours obviously is. The question is , who’s you-know-what? Your own , perhaps? No disrespect to you , too , Sarah.”