I was Mooned By Barack Obama In A UFO

It was reported by some local and international news outlets that Barack Obama has been seen flying around the Washington D.C. area in a small , one man UFO.  Apparently  a number of citizens in the area called in the sightings to local authorities , as well as other local news  and radio stations. These odd sightings have been witnessed by citizens who swear they were not  intoxicated or high on drugs.

Most credible major news sources have dismissed the reports as ridiculous and laughable , but Fox news , its affiliates , and many conservative outlets have reported the sightings as fact , and have gone so far as to interrupt regular programming to cover the so-called events.

“One such sighting was witnessed by Ophelia Strunk , and her group , LAUGH , The Ladies Association of UFO Groups Of Henryetta , Oklahoma. Ophelia was leading her group on a tour of the D.C. area where a number of famous sightings have taken place in the past. Ophelia has claimed to witness many strange events , including ghost sightings , hauntings , and demonic possession. She also claims to have been abducted by fairies when she was a teenager ,  and more recently , saw Elvis  inside an alien craft , who told her that he had been living on Venus since faking his death in 1977.

Ophelia was interviewed by Megan Kelly on the Kelly File , which airs week nights on the Fox News channel.

“I was guiding my group on a tour of Washington D.C. that night , as I do every year , when I saw the strangest thing I’ve ever seen ,” she said. “I’ve seen strange things in my years as a member of LAUGH , but this was the strangest thing ever. I’ve seen ghosts of famous celebrities , was kidnapped by fairies who took me to help them save their kingdom from an evil ogre , visited haunted houses , was once possessed by the spirit of  Janis Joplin , who made me sing Try A Little Harder  for a high school talent contest – I sounded just like her too – and once I even saw Elvis in a UFO , who told me that he’s been living on Venus in a luxury resort for the wealthy.

“Some people think I’m crazy when I tell these stories , especially the Elvis and Janis Joplin stories. I know they sound crazy , but I’m not crazy. If they had happened to someone else , I would probably think they were crazy too. But I’m not. Anyway , we were at the Washington Monument , not far from the White House , when I saw it. We all saw it. There was a flash of light in the sky , and I looked up just in time to see something streak by not very far over head.

” ‘What was that?’ one of the ladies said , looking up.

” ‘Probably a shooting star ,’ I said.

“A few seconds later , there was another flash of light. One of the ladies looked up and screamed. ‘Oh my God! Look! An Unidentified Flying Obama!’

Unidentified Flying Obama in his one man UFO over Washington D.C.
Unidentified Flying Obama in his one man UFO over Washington D.C.
“It was the freakiest thing I’ve ever seen ,” said Ophelia Strunk. “I was so freaked out , I couldn’t help but faint.”

“We all looked up and sure enough , there was the face of Barack Obama staring down at us! He was in a small , compact saucer-shaped machine. The interior was lit up with a greenish glow.  It was so small that he was all scrunched up inside of it. He looked comfortable though. And he was smiling. It looked more like an evil grin , and his eyes were glowing , also green. Unidentified Flying Obama was written on the side in bold letters. It hovered there silently , perhaps thirty to forty feet directly above us for about two minutes.

“I can’t tell you just how freaked out we were.  Some of the ladies looked like they were about to faint. I felt like fainting myself. I was barely holding onto my sanity. Any moment  I knew I might pass out from fright if I didn’t get away from it. But I didn’t want Obama to think I was a coward by running away. I would probably never hear the end of it when I told my husband , and friends at work.

 “Seeing Obama’s face in a UFO is scary enough , but it’s nothing compared to what  happened next. Before it left , it did a complete one-eighty , and Obama pulled down his pants and mooned us! Then , just before it flew away in a streak of light , it turned back to face us , and he was laughing!

 “Several of the ladies screamed , including myself. It was so terrifying  that I wanted to scratch my eyes out , but it wouldn’t do any good , because the image would be forever burned in my memory. Instead , I did the only thing I could do. I fainted.

“I’ve always thought Obama has a scary looking face , but to see it and his hairy butt that close up , and in a UFO  , is even scarier.”

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