I Saw Barack Obama Blowing Santa Claus

  Conservatives have known for some time that Barack Obama is gay , despite the fact that he is married to Michelle Obama.  Some believe it’s a cover to hide the obvious fact that he’s gay. Others believe that Michelle Obama is really a man , a transgender , thus proving that her – or his , whether you believe she’s a man or a woman – husband is really gay. I tend to believe the latter. To me and many Americans , it’s common knowledge and irrefutable. Just as it’s common knowledge that he is a Muslim and a communist. The evidence that he is gay , is overwhelming , as you will see in the following story.

   The loony liberals and progressives can deny it all they want , but we know the truth about this evilest of men , who – according to American patriot , Ted Nugent – weaseled his way into the White House.

   Since his first term , Obama has shamelessly given his support to the militant Nazi LGBT movement , which is nothing but a front for the communist party of America. And more recently , has defended the supreme court’s shameful ruling on same-sex marriage , which in the opinion of the majority of Americans , is a Obamanation. Patriotic Americans across this great nation are getting fed up with the actions of this out of control tyrant , who has hijacked the constitution , and the freedoms of all true Americans who oppose his lawless , dictatorial executive orders.

   Recently , I reported a story on Obama’s plan to assassinate Santa Claus. Apparently , that attempt has been averted! He would not dare to murder Kris Kringle , now that it’s obvious what the motive behind the plot was all about : to cover up  his affair with the Big Man In Red.

   Not long ago I received an email from an anonymous source in the White House. The author of the email was willing to offer an account of the alleged affair. The email reads as follows :

   To Obama Journal ,

   It has come to my attention that the president is having an affair with Santa Claus. I received this information from another source in the White House , which I cannot reveal , for fear they may be assassinated , just as the president planned to assassinate Kris Kringle. I’m sending this email in hopes that you can help me get the word out , and prove to the world just how evil this man really is.  Since the press is controlled by communists , who are covering up his criminal actions , it is up to us educate the masses about this evil tyrant , who truly is worse than Hitler. And if we don’t do something now , the communists , the liberals , and the atheists , who have been waging a relentless war on Christmas for years , will succeed in destroying not only Christmas , but everything else. We must not let this happen.

   According to my source , last year when Santa visited the White House on Christmas Eve , to pass out toys and goodies to the president and his family , they noticed something strange. As the president shook his hand , he planted a kiss on one of his cheeks. They knew right then and there that something was going on between the two. Later that night , after the Obama’s went to bed , my source hid in a closet in the room. About three hours passed before Obama was seen entering the room. He headed straight for the cookies and the eggnog  that the girls had left for Santa. He gobbled everything up as if he were starving to death , and the eggnog dribbled down his chin and onto the floor. It was disgusting. Cookie crumbs and eggnog were all over his face. Then he threw back his head and laughed like the evil tyrant that we all know he is , just like he does when he thinks he’s got all of us fooled.

Who does he think he is , eating Santa’s cookies and drinking his eggnog?! Santa’s going to be pissed when he finds out what Obama has done. It would serve him right if Santa left him a lump of coal in his stocking. I wouldn’t blame him one bit.

But imagine my surprise when I heard what happened next. When Santa arrived  , he didn’t leave the president a lump of coal for his rudeness , like he should have. Instead  , he gave him a blow job! I was not surprised by this behavior. But  I was certainly shocked that they would do it right there in the open , when anyone could walk in at any moment , especially Sasha and Malia. What kind of impression would that leave if either of them walked in and found their father getting blown by old Saint Nick? I shudder to think of it. And how would Michelle react if she had walked in on them? Would it have upset her? Probably not , considering that she’s most likely a man herself. Or would she join them? I find the latter even more disturbing.

  Many Conservatives , such as myself , have always suspected him of being gay – look at Mrs. Obama , she looks more like a man than a woman , it’s undeniable – and this eyewitness account proves without a doubt that he really is gay!

   Thank God no one walked in , especially the girls , but something even more shocking happened next. The two dogs , Bo and Sunny came prancing into the room , and wanted to join them for a foursome! Can you imagine that!? How disgusting! Of course , they didn’t let the dogs join in. That would have been really disgusting. I have always known that he is a gay , communist Muslim , but if he turned out to be a lover of bestiality , that would have been the last straw.

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